There are personality differences between extroverts and introverts. However, a lot of qualities we think only extroverts have are skills you can learn.
You can learn how to be outgoing, start conversations with strangers, make friends easily, and feel comfortable around people.
If you’ve ever wanted to know how to be social without changing who you are, keep reading.
Below are eight actionable ways to be an extrovert that don’t require you to become someone you’re not.
1. Take Small Social Risks Every Day
When trying to force yourself to be more extroverted, many people go overboard. They try to attend events every night and force themselves to talk to as many people as possible.
You don’t need to go from zero to 100 overnight.
Taking small social risks day by day often yields the best results.
For example, you could start by:
♦ Saying hi to coworkers instead of waiting for them to greet you
♦ Making eye contact with strangers instead of looking at the ground
♦ Asking your cashier how their day is going
These small interactions may not seem like a lot. But when you start doing things like that daily, you train your brain to see social interactions as nonthreatening.
The more positive experiences you have, the more comfortable you’ll get.
This also helps you build confidence without freaking yourself out by trying to change your entire personality overnight.
Simply focus on taking baby steps outside of your comfort zone. Over time, things that used to intimidate you will feel normal.
Read also: 8 Things You’re Wasting Your Life On you Should Quite
2. Ask Better Questions
Extroverts aren’t great at conversations because they say a lot of stuff. They’re great at conversations because they keep them going.
You can do this by asking questions. But not just any questions. Open ended questions that require more than a one word answer.
Instead of asking questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no,” try asking questions like:
“What got you interested in that?”
“What was your favorite part about that experience?”
Asking questions like these will not only improve your conversations but take the pressure off you to say a lot.
Trust me when I say people love talking about themselves. Their favorite movies, food, hobbies, passions. They’ll talk for hours about themselves if you just show interest.
Learn some effective communication skills and you’ll feel more confident in social situations and at work.
Read also: How to Develop Active Listening Skills
3. Force Yourself to Speak Up More
A lot of people don’t talk because they believe everything they say has to be witty, informative, or well timed. Extroverts talk because they don’t obsess over every word that comes out of their mouth.
You don’t have to say something groundbreaking every time you open your mouth to speak.
If you have an opinion on a topic or can make a small comment, say it. It still counts.
The goal is to participate more, not be perfect.
Force yourself to speak up at work, with friends, or during conversations, even if you’re not 100% sure what to say.
You don’t have to talk over people or constantly try to one up the conversation. Simply try to participate a little more each time you’re around people.
The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Read also: 10 Ways to Be an Interesting Person That Everyone Wants to Talk To
4. Put Yourself Out There More
You can’t develop habits associated with being extroverted if you never spend time with people.
You can start by putting yourself out there more.
Everything you just read improves with practice. The more social interaction you get, the more comfortable you’ll feel around people.
That doesn’t mean go out every weekend and try to force yourself through social situations you’re not prepared for.
You could join community groups, meetup.com, go to local events, or volunteer.
When you involve yourself in group activities, you’ll already have things to talk about, and you won’t feel quite as awkward.
Bonus: when you build a more active social life, you’re forced to use your interpersonal skills more. Whether you want better relationships, more friends, or want to get ahead at your job, socializing gives you a chance to practice those skills.
5. Care More About Connecting Than Performing
Think about the last time you didn’t feel awesome socially.
Were you worried about what you said? Did you fear appearing boring? Were you hoping not to say something dumb?
The list can go on and on. But the reality is that most of us overthink every interaction we have.
Extroverted people don’t allow themselves to do this. They’re too busy focusing on other people.
Once you pay more attention to others, you’ll realize how little you have to worry about.
Instead of trying to figure out what to say next, think about what you can learn from the person you’re talking to.
6. Use Positive Body Language
The human body communicates much more than words can.
Your body language can portray you as a confident and approachable person or someone who’s insecure and shy.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Try it.
Next time you’re around people, stand up straight, make eye contact, smile, and avoid crossing your arms and legs.
You don’t have to be bouncing around like you just drank three cups of coffee. Just hold a position that exudes confidence.
What you may not realize is your body language can also affect how you feel inside.
Several studies on body language have discovered when you hold confident positions, you actually start feeling more confident.
It’s a neat trick that you can use to your advantage.
7. Accept That Being Awkward Is Part of the Process
If there’s one thing that holds most people back from being extroverted, it’s the fear of saying something awkward.
Here’s the truth.
Awkward moments happen to everyone, even extroverts. But they don’t view those moments as proof that something is wrong with them.
You will say something stupid from time to time. You will mishear a joke and react stupidly. You will have awkward silences with people.
It’s life. It’s completely normal.
Once you accept that you will be awkward sometimes and can laugh it off, it instantly becomes less scary.
Your favorite “extroverted” person probably has an arsenal of embarrassing stories they could tell you. The difference is they didn’t let that stop them from putting themselves out there.
If you want to be more extroverted, stop expecting yourself to put on a perfect social performance every time you’re around others. Accept that you’re going to be awkward sometimes and embrace the awkward moments.
8. Stay You
This is probably the most important step to learn how to be an extrovert. Being extroverted doesn’t mean changing your personality to match someone else’s.
A lot of people think extroverts are loud, obnoxious, and talk all the time. Not true.
Extroverts are open. They engage with the world around them. They listen and they talk. They connect with others.
You can be calm, cool, and collected while becoming more extroverted.
It’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself.
You’ll have a better chance connecting with people if you just be yourself.
Remember: Authenticity is magnetic. The more you invest in who you are and stop pretending to be someone else, the more people will gravitate toward the real you.
The sooner you can start working on your personal growth skills, the better.
Conclusion
Being comfortable around people doesn’t happen overnight.
It takes time, patience, and consistent effort.
As long as you take small social risks, ask questions, improve your body language, and put yourself out there more, you’ll become a more extroverted person over time.
You don’t have to be the life of the party. You don’t have to change who you are.
Simply learn how to show up and be present when you’re around others instead of running from social interaction every time it comes up.
Take one tip from above and practice it daily until it becomes a habit. Once you’ve mastered that, move on to the next.
Trust me, being more extroverted isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about allowing others to see more of you.
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