As a Writer who specializes in relationships, one trend I’ve noticed over the years is that marriages rarely become boring because the couple stops loving each other. Most marriages lose momentum when life gets loud.
Kids enter the picture, careers become demanding, responsibilities stack up… before you know it, you go from two people in love to two coparents/business partners who are just tired.
Busy season doesn’t have to mean a dull marriage, though. Many of my happiest couples weren’t the ones with endless time to spend together. They were the couples who worked hard to keep their relationship strong even when their schedules were chaotic.
If you find your marriage lacking passion or romance these days, don’t freak out. There are ways to spice up your marriage when life gets busy.
10 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage When Life Gets Busy
1. Create Non Negotiable Couple Time Each Week
When life gets crazy, it’s easy to sacrifice couple time. You don’t make time to spend together. You wait until you “have free time” to go on a date night.
The problem is, life never seems to become less busy if you don’t intentionally make it that way.
Schedule in weekly couple time that you can’t cancel. If something else tries to take its place, move everything else first.
Couple time doesn’t have to be a fancy night out. Some of your best couple moments happen after the kids go to bed with a cup of coffee and quiet conversation.
When you make couple time non negotiable, you’re building emotional intimacy with your spouse.
Read also: 10 Signs of a Difficult Husband in Marriage
2. Bring Back Flirting
The honeymoon phase is great, but maintaining a marriage long term is where real relationships are built.
One thing you may have lost when transitioning from dating to marriage is flirting.
Too many couples forget how to flirt with each other.
You can send your spouse a funny meme that you think they’ll enjoy or simply hold their hand and smile.
Flirting opens up the lines of communication and keeps you connected on a deeper level.
Read also: 8 Psychological Signs He’s Flirting With You Right Now
3. Try New Things Together
Trying new things together as a couple is not only fun, but it also strengthens your relationship.
You don’t have to take an exotic vacation. Trying new restaurants, visiting local attractions, or renting movies you wouldn’t typically watch are all great ways to spend time with your spouse.
Research shows that experiencing new things as a couple can help you feel more connected.
When was the last time you did something new or tried something different with your spouse?
Read also: 45 Important Questions Before Marriage You Must Ask
4. Put Your Phones Away
Phones are amazing. There’s no doubt about it. We can connect with people all over the world instantly, which is incredible.
However, too many couples spend their time together right next to each other while they’re on their phones. It happens without even thinking about it.
Challenge yourself and your spouse to put your phones away and focus on each other when you’re spending time together.
You’ll be amazed how much more you enjoy each other’s company when you’re not being distracted by your phones.
5. Focus On Physical Affection Outside Of The Bedroom
Physical touch isn’t reserved for sex.
Healthy marriages have affection sprinkled throughout the day.
A kiss goodbye. Holding hands. Sitting close together. These all build emotional intimacy with your spouse.
Focus on small ways you can show affection to your spouse every day.
6. Surprise Each Other Often
Love your spouse enough to throw them a curveball now and then.
Leave a sweet note. Cook their favorite meal. Bring home their favorite snack. Plan a surprise date night.
Whatever you do, make sure you’re showing up for your spouse and proving to them that you’re thinking about them.
It’s the little things that your spouse will remember and cherish.
7. Talk About Things Other Than Responsibilities
Parenting and careers are huge parts of most married people’s lives. But talking to your spouse about the kids and work all the time can kill any romance you have.
Make time to talk to your spouse about something other than your responsibilities.
You can ask them about their day or about something they’ve been wanting to share with you. Make sure you come prepared with questions to ask your spouse.
The more you talk, the closer you two will grow.
8. Continue Dating After Marriage
You should still be dating your spouse even after you get married.
Dating doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or time. Take a walk after dinner or go on a breakfast date before work. Enjoy a movie night at home or try learning something new together.
Spend time together, away from the stresses of life, where you can focus on each other.
You should want to spend time with your spouse regardless of whether you’re dating or married.
9. Show Appreciation Frequently
When you first start dating someone, everything they do probably seems amazing to you.
But over time, you may take your spouse for granted. Before you know it, your spouse no longer feels appreciated.
Start thanking your spouse for the little things. Tell them you appreciate everything they do for you and your family.
Showing gratitude will make your spouse feel valued and help your marriage.
10. Don’t Let Busyness Ruin Your Marriage
You knew this was coming, didn’t you? When life gets busy, you have to make your marriage a priority.
It’s okay to say no to other things so you can say YES to your spouse.
Too many people fill their schedule so full that they don’t have time to spend with their spouse.
Make sure you don’t allow busyness to sneak up on you and ruin your marriage.
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Conclusion
Finding ways to spice up your marriage while life gets busy doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple date nights at home, phone free conversations, random acts of kindness, and telling your spouse you appreciate them are all simple ways to keep the romance alive when you have kids.
What’s most important is that you and your spouse continue to invest in each other. Put your marriage first, and your relationship will grow stronger with time.
FAQ
- How do you add spice to your marriage when you have kids?
There will always be times where your kids require more attention. The best way to keep the spice in your marriage when you have children is to be intentional with the time you do have. - Is it normal for your marriage to feel boring?
While every marriage will have fun and new experiences from time to time, it’s normal for your relationship to feel boring at times. - How often should you go on date nights?
Every couple is different, but I recommend you try to spend dedicated date night at least once a week. - Can being busy ruin your marriage?
If you are always busy and fail to make your relationship a priority, it can destroy your marriage. - What are some easy ways to be romantic with your spouse?
Leave them cute notes, try cooking them a nice meal, or plan a date night.
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