Someone I know recently shared how conflicted she felt about a big life change. She had just accepted a dream job that she had been pursuing for months. From the outside, it appeared as though she should only feel excited about the news.
But when she shared her emotions with me, it was clear there was more going on.
She felt excited about the opportunity but nervous about what was to come. She felt grateful to have been given such an opportunity but sad to leave behind coworkers she had grown close to. She felt happy for herself but guilty that her friends were struggling to find meaningful work.
I was struck by our conversation because it highlighted a fact we so often forget. Emotions are not always black and white. It’s possible to feel happy and scared at the same time. You can feel thankful and annoyed in the same moment. You can love someone and feel hurt by them at the same time.
When you find yourself feeling a mix of emotions, it can feel overwhelming. You may question what you should even be feeling. Or you may worry that there is something wrong with you. The reality is that having mixed emotions is normal.
The key is learning how to respond to them in healthy ways.
If you’re feeling multiple emotions all at once and aren’t sure what to do, these eight tips will help you navigate your emotions with greater awareness and acceptance.
8 Things to Do When You Feel Different Emotions at Once
1. Accept That More Than One Emotion Can Apply
One common mistake people make is believing they should only feel one way at a time.
Life isn’t that simple. You can be nervous and excited about starting college. You can feel proud of your achievements while simultaneously wishing things would have gone differently.
When you accept your emotions for what they are, you open the door to processing them more effectively. The first step to emotional awareness is accepting that more than one emotion can apply to a situation.
Read also: e7 Signs You Are an Emotionally Intelligent Woman
2. Label Your Emotions
It’s rare that I hear someone say, “I am feeling joy.” Most of the time, people say they are stressed, overwhelmed, or emotional.
But those are blanket statements. When you ask yourself what’s causing you to feel stressed or overwhelmed, you may discover a range of emotions underneath.
Try naming what you are feeling as specifically as possible. Are you disappointed? Anxious? Hopeful? Frustrated? Relieved? Embarrassed? Grateful? Excited?
The more you practice pinpointing your emotions, the better you will become at understanding them. Studies have shown that naming your emotions can also help you manage their intensity. Enhancing your self awareness requires digging deeper into how you feel.
3. Write It Down
When your emotions are chaotic, it can help to write them down.
Grab a journal and pour your heart out. Write down whatever is on your mind and release those emotions onto the page. You don’t need to be polished. Let your thoughts and emotions flow freely.
You may be surprised at what you learn about yourself after journaling. Many people discover hidden fears, patterns, and desires after they start writing regularly. Sometimes just a few minutes of writing can offer you a new perspective.
Read also: 10 Beautiful Emotions You Feel in a Secure Relationship
4. Don’t Judge Your Emotions
We place judgments on emotions all the time.
Happy is good. Sad is bad. Anger must be managed. Gratitude is welcomed. Judgment clouds our ability to understand our emotions.
Emotions are not good or bad. They are simply emotions that arise based on your experiences and needs. Rather than judging yourself for feeling a certain way, try to understand why you might be feeling that way.
The practice of self compassion can help you respond to your emotions without judgment or criticism.
5. Wait Before You React
Emotions can make you feel like you need to take immediate action.
You might want to yell at someone in anger. You might want to quit your job. You might want to buy something to make you feel better. These impulses might be warranted at times, but many emotional reactions don’t require instant action.
By allowing yourself time to think and feel, you give both your emotions and rational thought a chance to coexist. If something you’re feeling requires action, you’ll have more clarity by waiting a few hours or even a day.
6. Talk It Out
You don’t have to sit with your emotions alone.
Sometimes just talking about your emotions with a friend, mentor, or loved one can help you feel better. Conversation can provide clarity and comfort when your emotions feel out of control.
Talking to a mental health professional is also a great option if you are struggling to manage your emotions. Therapists are trained to help you navigate your emotional world in a healthy way.
7. Focus on What You Can Control
When you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, it’s easy to dwell on the things you can’t control.
“What if I fail?” You may find yourself worrying about everything that could go wrong. But obsessing over things you can’t control will only leave you feeling more stressed and impatient.
Instead of worrying about the unknown, focus on what you can control. You can control how you prepare for a presentation. You can control how much effort you put into your relationships. Focusing on what you can control will help you feel more grounded when your emotions feel out of control.
8. Be Patient
Remember that processing your emotions takes time.
We live in a world that expects immediate gratification, so it’s no surprise that we expect our emotions to follow suit. When we are feeling down, we want to feel better right away. When we make a mistake, we want to instantly learn from it and never repeat it.
But sometimes our emotions don’t work that way. You may need to allow yourself time to fully process a feeling before you can move on. Allow yourself grace and patience as you navigate your emotions.
Emotions aren’t you. They are something you experience throughout life, but they do not define you as a person.
Conclusion
Feeling conflicting emotions is frustrating. But it is also perfectly normal.
Emotions are complex, and so are we humans. Next time you find yourself experiencing different emotions at the same time, remember these tips.
Acknowledge your emotions. Name them. Write about them. Avoid judging them. And reach out for support if you need it.
You don’t have to act on every emotion you feel. Instead of trying to feel one way or the other, allow yourself to feel everything that you’re feeling.
Remember that it’s okay to be happy and sad. Excited and nervous. You don’t have to pick which emotion you should feel. You can feel them all.
FAQ
Is it normal to experience multiple emotions?
Yes! It is perfectly normal to experience more than one emotion at a time.
Why am I feeling happy and sad at the same time?
You might be experiencing happy and sad emotions simultaneously because you are going through a period of change. This can be exciting (happy) and stressful (nervous or sad) at the same time.
How can I become more in tune with my emotions?
Journaling, self reflection, mindfulness, and talking to trusted friends or family are all great ways to become more emotionally aware.
Should I ignore my emotions when they’re difficult?
No! Ignoring your emotions will only cause them to pile up inside you. It’s better to acknowledge and process your emotions in a healthy way.
When should I talk to a professional about my emotions?
Speaking to a mental health professional is a great idea if your emotions are causing distress in your day to day life. They can also be a good resource if you have struggled with difficult emotions for an extended period of time.
Can feeling mixed emotions mean I am growing as a person?
Yes! It’s completely normal to experience mixed emotions when you are going through a period of learning and growth.
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