I had a conversation with a woman recently who had been dating her boyfriend for years. They were together, they talked every day, they loved each other, and they were “working things out.”
Things appeared great on the surface. Until I asked her one simple question.
“Do you see a future with him?”
She paused.
There it was.
She knew the truth. She knew he wasn’t going to marry her, even though he loved her. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about her, but he wasn’t going anywhere with her either.
And the sad thing about situations like that is, you can stay for years thinking it will get better, while signs are right in front of you this entire time.
If you’re unsure whether or not your relationship is going anywhere, guess what you don’t need? More time.
You need to know the truth.
8 Clear Signs He Will Never Marry You
1. He Avoids Talking About the Future
He dodges every question you have about marriage or the future. When you ask about long term plans or where you both stand, he makes jokes, gives noncommittal answers, or changes the subject.
You never have serious conversations about your future together. There are never any talks of building a life together or making things work long term.
Contrary to what most people think, this isn’t him just being confused about his feelings. This is him avoiding them.
Men that plan on marrying you will take conversations about the future seriously, even if he’s not 100% ready himself. He may not have his life completely figured out, but he will at least be willing to discuss it and work through it with you.
If you’ve been together for months or even years and you still can’t have a straightforward discussion about your future, that right there is your sign.
Avoidance is a silent form of rejection.
Read also: 10 Signs He Will Be a Good Husband
2. He Keeps Saying “Not Right Now” with No Explanation
“He just isn’t ready for marriage right now.” “We need to wait until ___.”
All of these phrases sound like delaying tactics if he’s saying them CONSTANTLY.
Sure, there are reasons you may not be married: finances, careers, life goals, and more. But if he continually puts off marrying you with no end in sight or real plan, then he’s just stringing you along.
There is a difference between waiting for the right time and making excuses.
The “right time” will come with a plan. Dates, goals, and an outline of what he wants to happen before you two get married.
Guess what happens when you “wait” for a few years? “Not right now” turns into “never.”
Read also: 12 Signs He Likes You But You Don’t Talk
3. He Treats the Relationship Like It’s Nothing Serious
There’s no real progression. Things are the same now as they were when you started dating years ago. Sure, you two may have gotten more intimate, but other than that, everything is the same.
You never go from hanging out together to talking about marriage or being a couple that’s building something long term.
He’ll hang out with you, have fun with you, and even sleep with you. But there’s no sense of urgency to take things to the next level.
A man that has intentions of marrying you acts differently. He pursues with intention and purpose. If you don’t see that, he’s not accidentally dating you like everyone else.
Read also: 12 Early Signs He Will Cheat That Most Women Miss
4. He Doesn’t Mention You When Talking About His Future
He talks about his future career plans, where he wants to live, or what he wants to do. But you’re nowhere to be found in his vision.
If he’s saying things like “I want to do this” or “When I” and leaving you out of the conversation, that’s a glaring sign that he’s not including you in his life long term.
No man that wants to marry you wakes up and forgets you’re in the picture. You become a part of his future plans whether he says it out loud or not.
When he’s talking about what he wants to accomplish in life, you should be part of the plan. You should be involved with his future conversations.
If you’re not, it’s not an accident.
5. He Avoids Commitment in Other Areas of His Life
How a man views commitment in general can tell you a lot about how he’ll view commitment with you.
Does he struggle to commit to things like responsibilities, long term goals, or even being reliable? Then he will most likely show the same behaviors in your relationship.
Marrying someone requires a level of stability, discipline, and consistency. If he avoids those things in other areas of his life, why would he be different with you?
Again, pay attention to patterns.
6. He Keeps You at Arms Length From Parts of His Life
You haven’t met certain people in his life or he seems to keep you away from parts of his life.
It sounds contradictory to the previous sign, but hear me out.
When someone has you in their life as an outsider, you can be involved but never fully INCLUDED.
Think about it. If he truly wants you in his life, he will eventually introduce you to everyone that is important to him and allow you to see the other areas of his life he normally keeps closed off.
Keeping you at arms length is another sign he’s not bringing you around his friends, family, and coworkers because he doesn’t intend on marrying you.
7. He Makes You Feel Like You’re Guessing Where You Stand
Do you always have to question how he feels about you? Do you find yourself wondering if he wants to be with you long term or if he still thinks about marriage?
If you find yourself constantly guessing about your relationship status or where you two stand, that’s not a sign of a healthy, loving relationship.
When two people are serious about each other, you don’t have to wonder what the other person is thinking or where your relationship is going. It’s understood.
Guessing games aren’t fun, especially when it comes to your relationship.
8. You Have a Gut Feeling He Won’t Marry You
Lastly, your gut instinct.
If you continue reading this and the signs all point to YES, he will marry you, great! My work here is done.
But what if you notice these signs and something still feels off?
You’ve been with this person for years and you just have a gut feeling he won’t ever want to marry you.
Listen to those instincts.
You know your situation better than anyone. When you spend enough time with someone, your intuition starts to recognize patterns. You know when something is off.
Trust your gut feeling. If you think he won’t marry you, chances are he won’t.
Conclusion
There’s no worse feeling than knowing you gave someone years of your life, only to find out they never had any intention of marrying you along the way.
The sad truth is, time does NOT change someone’s intentions. You can be with someone for a few months or ten years, and those signs will still apply.
When a man wants to marry you, he shows you. He pursues you. He makes an effort, he plans for the future, and he has a direction.
You shouldn’t have to wonder where you stand with him all of the time. His actions will show you his true intentions.
If you’ve reached a point in your relationship where most or all of these signs apply, panic is not the answer.
Accept the reality of your situation. It’s not going to magically get better unless you decide to leave and find someone who WILL marry you.
Having clarity can be painful, especially if you’ve grown attached to the idea of spending your life with this person.
But letting someone go who will never fulfill your expectation of marriage is easier than spending the rest of your life wondering “what if.”
Knowing is better than not knowing, even if the truth hurts.
FAQ
Can a man change his mind about marriage later down the road?
Yes, he can, but he has to want to change his mind. If he’s showing no signs of changing his current mindset about marriage, then he probably won’t change later either.
How long should I wait around for a man to propose to me?
As long as it takes for him to actually propose, but you should see growth and progress within the first couple years of being together. If you don’t, that is a red flag.
What are the biggest red flags he won’t marry you?
If he constantly avoids talking about the future with you and your relationship is very stagnant, those are two huge red flags he doesn’t want to marry you.
Should I break up with him if I see these signs?
Once again, that depends on what you want. If you want to get married and he’s showing no intention of ever marrying you, then why stay?
How can I bring up the topic of marriage without forcing him?
Bring it up. Don’t make it a big deal and simply ask him where he sees things going in the future. How he reacts will tell you everything you need to know.
Save the pin for later
