I’ll never forget sitting across from a man once as he explained why he loved his girlfriend. Not because of what he said, but because of what he didn’t say.
Absence of details like her appearance, social status, hobbies, and other surface level traits was all the more notable when he spoke about why she was THE ONE. Instead, he talked about how calm he felt around her, how he never felt like he needed to be anyone else with her, and how everything just seemed at ease when she was around.
Needless to say, this conversation really stuck with me.
Most people take love for granted and believe love happens because of feelings. But feelings are fleeting. If your reasons for loving someone are healthy and substantial enough, those feelings will come naturally.
So if you’ve ever wondered why you love the person you love or if you’re sure that you even have enough reasons to love them in the first place, read below.
10 Powerful Reasons to Love Someone Beyond Feelings
1. They Give You Emotional Safety
Imagine being able to talk to someone without overthinking every word that comes out of your mouth. Imagine not having to worry about how they might respond to anything you say.
When you know that your partner loves you, you feel comfortable being yourself around them. You can say anything without fear of being judged, dismissed, or misunderstood because they provide you with emotional safety.
This doesn’t mean that they’re “always right” or that you can never argue with them. It just means that when those arguments happen, they’ll never attack you or try to make you feel stupid.
When you know someone loves you, you feel secure.
Read also: 35 Phrases That Mean “I Love You”
2. They Respect You as a Person
You cannot truly love someone if you do not respect them. Someone who respects you will never try to control you, your decisions, or your thoughts.
They accept that you are your own person with your own opinions, values, and ideas. That is why mutual respect is one of the foundations of any healthy relationship.
Another sign that your partner respects you is how they communicate with you. They will always speak to you with respect, even when they’re mad or don’t agree with your opinion.
True love means valuing each other enough to take the other person seriously.
Read also: 10 Signs You Have Fallen in Love
3. They Support Your Success
Loving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to hold you back in life. If your partner wants you to succeed, whether that be personally or professionally, they will do anything they can to help you make it happen.
Support can look like encouragement, yes.
But it can also look like holding you accountable when you slack off. It could look like them pushing you to be better so that you can achieve your goals.
If someone loves you, they won’t feel threatened by your success. They’ll celebrate it.
4. You Can Count on Their Consistency
This is why f*ckbois fade when things get tough. It’s also why you should NEVER give your heart to someone who hasn’t proven that they can be consistent with you.
If the person you love does not have the same motivation to invest in you today as they did one month ago, one year ago, or five years ago, then they will not be able to sustain that love over time.
You should never question their words or actions. You should know where you stand with them because they know where they stand with YOU.
Read also: 5 Ways to Love Yourself Based on Your Love Language
5. They Don’t Play Games
You don’t need someone who is going to send mixed signals or play games when you’re with them. You deserve to be with someone who will love you for who you are and what you bring to the table, NOT what you don’t have.
If someone loves you, they will never make you question their intentions or feelings by doing things like making you guess what they want.
Examples of playing games include, but are not limited to: not communicating, disappearing for days, not giving you a clear answer to a question, and giving you different answers to the same question.
6. They Make You Feel Appreciated
Some people mistake being around someone all the time as them showing you that they love you. Being present is nice, but you should feel OVERALL valued by your partner.
Do they go out of their way to show you they care about you and your feelings? Do they make you feel like you’re their priority?
Anyone can hang out with you. But if someone loves you, they’ll SHOW you that they love you.
7. They Stick Around Through Thick and Thin
When you know that your partner is going to be there for you through thick and thin, you never have to feel insecure about your relationship.
Whether you’re having your best day or your worst day, they stick by your side and are willing to do whatever it takes to see you smile again.
Not everyone can understand what you’re going through all of the time, but if someone loves you, THEY CAN.
8. They Allow You to Feel at Peace
Love shouldn’t cause anxiety. In fact, being with the right person should actually allow you to feel the opposite.
When you’re with someone who you know loves you, you don’t have to worry about them doing something stupid to lose you. You never have to question what they’re saying versus doing.
You simply feel at peace.
9. They Accept You for Who You Are
There’s a difference between loving someone who you want to change and accepting them for who they are.
If someone tells you that they love you today, will they still love you tomorrow if you never change? If the answer is yes, then you know they love you unconditionally.
10. You Can Be Yourself Around Them
You should never feel like you have to be someone else when you’re around the person you love.
But more than that, you should feel like you are enough for them. You don’t have to pretend to like the things they like, talk about things you’re not interested in, or change who you are to win their affection.
If they love you, they’ll accept you for who you are.
11. They Choose You Every Day
Like I mentioned earlier, love is more than just a feeling.
It’s something you have to choose to give every single day. You have to wake up and continue deciding that you want to love your partner no matter what.
If they wake up and choose you every day, that’s reason enough to love them right back.
Conclusion
Love is not some grand gesture you experience one day. It’s shown in the way they consistently treat you, speak to you, and make you feel for the longest time.
If you look at your partner and see the qualities above, then you can rest easy knowing the person you love actually loves you back.
But if not, don’t fret. This list is just as much for you as it is for others. You deserve to be reciprocated the same amount of love and effort that you give to your partner. When both sides provide it, love becomes way less confusing.
FAQ
What are good reasons to love someone?
Good reasons to love someone include, but are not limited to: respect, emotional safety, trust, consistency, communication, appreciation, and remaining by your side through thick and thin.
Can you love someone who doesn’t treat you right?
Of course you can love someone who doesn’t treat you right. But that doesn’t make your relationship healthy. Relationships should be about give and take. If they’re only giving you feelings but not effort, that’s NOT love.
How do I know my reasons for loving someone are valid?
If the reasons you love someone are because of how THEY TREAT YOU on a daily basis (versus how they make you feel in the moment), then your reasons for loving that person are valid.
Is love enough to keep someone in a relationship?
No. Love is not enough to keep someone in a relationship. There are other attributes that are also necessary for a healthy relationship like trust, communication, consistency, and respect.
What if I don’t see these qualities in my significant other?
Well then you have a problem. There is a reason this list is written in ALL CAPS. You can sit down and talk to them about your needs. You can give them time to change. But if they don’t have these qualities ingrained in them long term, then you shouldn’t waste your time dating them.
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