I once saw someone say something that rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t shouted from a rooftop. It wasn’t super aggressive. But you could cut the tension with a knife when they said it.
It was coated with charm, made into some sort of joke. But the room went silent after. And the person it was directed at just shut down.
There was a moment, right after they spoke, where everyone was left wondering should I say something? But that moment is where most people fail.
If you’ve ever experienced sexism, you know how crappy it feels. That’s why I won’t waste your time with vague tips on how to deal with sexist people. Here are 10 blunt, practical ways to deal with sexist people while still preserving your sanity.
How to Deal With Sexist People
1. Call Them Out (Immediately)
Whenever someone says something sexist to you, your mind and body probably want to lash out. You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to tell them how you’re feeling.
But trust me when I say it’s better to respond calmly.
By reacting calmly, you’re taking the other person off of their high horse. You’re grounding them back to reality instead of matching their emotions with your own.
Also, you don’t have to give them a grand speech about sexism. All you have to say is “wow, that don’t sound right” or “what do you mean by that?” and they’ll be forced to think about what they just said.
Stand your ground, but don’t scream and lose your cool.
Read also: 8 Crappy Things Men Do When They Want to Break Up
2. Set Boundaries
There are times and places for arguments. And sexist comments aren’t always worth that.
But if someone is constantly pushing your buttons and saying disrespectful things to you, tell them to stop.
Say something along the lines of “I don’t appreciate you talking to me that way” or “Please don’t say things like that around me.” Boom. Boundary set.
Now they’ll either stop, or they’ll continue and you can decide how you want to react moving forward.
Setting healthy boundaries with others is easier said than done, but in this case, all you have to do is speak up.
Read also: How to Make Boundaries – 10 Steps
3. Don’t Feel Obligated to Educate
I feel like society has made it our responsibility to explain WHY something is sexist or inappropriate all the time.
Newsflash: you don’t have to do that EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Believe it or not, some people don’t want to learn. They only want to argue with you. And if you fall into the trap of trying to educate someone like that, you’ll drain all your energy explaining yourself over and over.
Don’t feel the need to school everyone around you about sexism.
Read also: 8 Signs You Are Manipulative Without Realizing It
4. Ask Questions
Arguments can be avoided by simply asking questions.
Questions make people think about what they’re saying. They force others to break down their thought process and explain it to you.
“Why do you say that?” or “How did you come to that conclusion?” are great questions to ask any closed minded person.
Asking questions is sneaky because you’re not arguing with them. You’re simply asking them to think about what they’re saying.
5. Know When to Walk Away
I said it once, and I’ll say it again: you don’t always have to engage.
Some people are never going to change, and that’s just how life is.
If you encounter someone like that, walking away is the best solution. Take the high road and don’t waste your time trying to “help” someone that doesn’t want help.
Life is too short to let other people drag you down.
6. Be Around People That Support You
The people you surround yourself with can determine how you experience events like this.
If you’re around confident, loving people that respect you for who you are, situations like this are easier to handle.
You feel safer. You feel more comfortable. You know that you have your backs no matter what.
Create an environment with healthy people.
7. Don’t Take It Personally
Sexist comments can make you start doubting yourself.
Am I not good enough? Is that why they said that? What can I do better?
STOP.
Their mindset DOES NOT LIVE IN YOUR HEAD. Remember that.
You don’t have to let other people’s comments or beliefs affect how you feel about yourself.
Work on your self worth daily so comments like these roll right off of you.
8. Stay Confident
If you speak to someone confidently, they’ll perceive your message differently.
Speaking angrily can cause people to focus on how you’re saying something rather than what you’re actually saying.
Stay confident in your conversations.
9. Keep a Record and Report
If this is something that happens in a professional setting or anywhere that has rules, keep a record of the incidents and report it to the proper authorities.
Repeat offenses like this should not be ignored.
Doing your part and reporting helps your voice be heard and lets others know that this type of behavior is not okay.
10. Stay True to Yourself
You don’t have to bite back, match energy, or become aggressive when handling closed minded people.
Just stay you. Everything else is secondary.
The more grounded you are in your own value, the better you’ll handle these types of situations without compromising yourself.
Conclusion
Remember, it’s not about how you WIN an argument with a closed minded person. It’s about protecting yourself and your peace.
Not everything is going to be resolved in the nicest of ways, and not everyone is going to listen to your side. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say anything at all.
When you allow yourself to stay calm and respond not react to these types of situations, you become the master of your own environment.
You get to decide how you want to respond and react accordingly. Don’t let anyone take that power away from you.
FAQ
What should I say when someone is sexist?
Sometimes a simple “excuse me?” or “really?” can do the trick. You can also ask them how they meant what they said.
How do you deal with sexist customers?
It depends on your situation and how safe you feel. Either ignore them, ask them not to talk to you that way, or end the conversation altogether.
What do you say to someone who is sexist?
Ask them how they meant the comment they made. Most times, people don’t even realize they sound sexist until you point it out.
How do you ignore sexist comments?
Simply don’t react. Look the other way, change the subject, or walk away.
Is it better to ignore sexism?
Only if you feel safe doing so. Otherwise, speak up and say something.
How do you deal with someone being sexist towards you at work?
Keep a record of incidents and report them. You can also say something along the lines of “please don’t speak to me that way.”
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