I have talked with many men who loved their wives or girlfriends but absolutely hated getting “all lovey dovey.” They would tell me, “I take care of her,” “I spend time with her,” or “I tell her I love her every day.” Then they would look at me with this confused look and ask, “Isn’t that enough?”
Love and romance are two different things. While love can live in your heart silently, romance is many times the outward expression of that love. Think of romance like fertilizer and your relationship like a plant. Romance takes the love you have for your partner and expresses it in ways they can see, feel, hear, and remember.
Men accidentally stop being romantic somewhere after the dating stage of a relationship. Then life hits. Work becomes busy. Stress piles up. Responsibilities consume your time. But romance shouldn’t only be your “on” switch during dating.
In fact, it’s one of the things that helps communication in your relationship stay strong. Most times, the smallest things mean the most because it’s letting your partner know you “still see me,” “still notice me,” and “still choose you.”
50 Ways Men Can Be Romantic
- Sending her a good morning text telling her why you appreciate her
- Pulling her close when you walk together and gently kissing her forehead
- Leaving love notes for her to find throughout your day
- Remembering something she said weeks ago and surprising her with it
- Cooking her favorite meal when she’s had a long, stressful day
- Looking her in the eyes while she speaks and giving her your undivided attention
- Taking her on a surprise drive and letting her know you have no idea where you’re going
- Dancing with her randomly in the kitchen even when no music is playing
- Sending her a text in the middle of your workday telling her you miss her
- Holding her hand while you sit beside her
- Planning a date around the things she enjoys
- Making her breakfast with some sweet note that simply says, “Love you”
- Snuggling up behind her while she cooks and wrapping your arms around her
- Taking pictures of her when she doesn’t know you’re taking them, smiling
- Telling her why she makes your life better
Read also: 13 Romantic Things to Do at Home - Listening intently when she talks about things important to her
- Making a playlist of songs that remind you of the two of you
- Watching her favorite TV show even when you’d rather watch something else
- Bringing home her favorite snack when she least expects it
- Kissing her forehead before you leave for work
- Sending her a voice note instead of just texting letters
- Writing her a letter detailing the things you love about her
- Trying to recreate your first date or a memory you two share
- Offering your jacket to her when she gets cold, even if you become chilly
- Calling her just to hear her voice
- Paying her a genuine compliment when she least expects it
- Looking at her like you’re still trying to win her over
- Telling her she looks beautiful when she’s wearing sweats all day
- Sitting beside her through a tough time instead of trying to fix it
- Taking her responsibilities so she can rest when she’s overwhelmed
- Remembering dates
Read also: 8 Signs You Are in a Romantic Friendship - Walking closest to the curb when strolling together
- Planning a home date night after a busy week
- Hugging her for a few seconds longer than normal
- Gently holding her face when you tell her how much she means to you
- Sending her old pictures of the two of you with dates on them
- Getting excited when she talks about her dreams and goals
- Making time for her even when your schedule is busy
- Telling her you’re proud of her
- Sitting underneath the stars and enjoying each other’s presence
- Praying for her and letting her know you do
- Taking an interest in what she likes to do
Read also: 10 Biggest Turn Offs for Women in Relationships - Sending her flowers or gifts for no reason at all
- Planning an entire day out for her where she doesn’t have to make any decisions
- Giving her your undivided attention by looking away from your phone
- Remembering the little things she mentions that she likes
- Holding her hand when you’re in public and owning it
- Thanking her for no reason
- Choosing to be kind to her when you disagree
- Continuously pursuing her even after you’ve been together for years
Why It Is Good for Men to Always Be Romantic
Most men feel as if romance is something that women should be doing. While women definitely enjoy romantic acts, romance actually benefits you too. When you express yourself in romantic ways, it builds emotional intimacy. The stronger the emotional intimacy you have with your woman, the better your relationship will be.
It also makes your relationship more enjoyable. When your woman feels loved, appreciated, and emotionally connected to you, she will likely become warmer, more peaceful, and even more satisfying to be around.
Another reason why it’s good for you to be romantic is that it keeps things from becoming emotionally stale. A huge mistake that most couples make is thinking love will automatically fill the gaps of their relationship. Think about a plant. What happens to the plant when you forget to water it? Exactly, it slowly dies.
Your relationship works the same way. When you don’t consistently express romantic feelings and attentiveness, your relationship will dry up. Random acts of romance act like watering that plant. Small efforts and little things you do to remind your partner that you love them and appreciate them being in your life help keep things fresh.
Lastly, it will allow you to never become roommates with your wife. Many relationships fall into this trap. You go from dating, to working off your budget, having kids, stressing about bills, then stressing about life with kids. Sound familiar? Before you know it, you forget why you fell in love with her in the first place.
Romance helps stop that pattern and allows you to both remember that you’re lucky to have each other. This is why building emotional connection, learning how to communicate in relationships, and building healthy relationship habits are so important.
Conclusion
Romance does not have to be expensive or full of grand gestures to be special. Some of the best romantic gestures I’ve done for my wife didn’t cost a single dime.
Real romance happens when you care enough to look for the small things. It’s what you do after you’ve already gotten the person you want. It’s looking for ways to remind your partner that they matter to you every single day.
If you’re a man in a relationship, stop making excuses about why you can’t be romantic. Your woman is human, and just like you, she needs to feel loved and appreciated.
FAQ
Can men be romantic on a budget?
Yes, men can most definitely be romantic while on a budget. Many of the best gestures don’t cost money at all.
Why do men stop being romantic?
Life, work, kids, and stress. Most men get caught up in their lives and forget to show her attention.
Do women really care about little gestures of romance?
Of course they do! Many little efforts build a stronger emotional connection than occasional grand gestures.
Can romance save my relationship?
Romance can only do so much if there are underlying issues. However, if the two of you are willing to work, small gestures of romance can help rebuild your emotional connection.
How often should I be romantic?
Every day. Find small things you can do on a daily basis. The more random the gesture, the bigger the impact.
What is the biggest mistake men make with romance?
Thinking you should only be romantic during the “getting to know you” stage. The work you put into your relationship before you get it is the work you should continue to do to maintain it.
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