When you truly care about someone, it can be hard to differentiate love, hope, emotional attachment, and God’s direction for your life. You can pray about the relationship, see ways that things are lining up, and still wonder if you are really seeing God at work or if you are just trying to see what you want.
I don’t think that just because a relationship is “from God” that everything will magically be easy. Two flawed human beings can truly love each other and still have hard conversations, difficult seasons, and deal with things they need to grow through.
What matters is what kind of fruit the relationship produces.
Does it produce the type of love, character, peace, honesty, and spiritual growth that draws you closer to God or pushes you further away?
6 Signs Your Relationship Is From God
1. Your Relationship Brings You Closer to God
Before anything else, ask yourself what your relationship is doing for your spiritual life. Are you more intentional about your faith, prayer life, character, and walk with God, or have you slowly found yourself neglecting those areas because of your relationship?
A healthy relationship won’t require you to sacrifice your God given convictions in order to make someone happy. It should allow both of you freedom to pursue God on your own terms while also encouraging each other to grow.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to have the exact same level of faith. But you should both have mutual respect for what you believe in and be willing to build a relationship that doesn’t pull you away from God every time you spend time together.
Look at your relationship and honestly ask yourself where it’s taking you spiritually. Remember that growing in your relationship with God isn’t about pretending to be “perfect.”
It’s about becoming more loving, patient, honest, humble, forgiving, and grounded in your faith.
Read also: 10 Signs Your Relationship Will Last a Lifetime
2. You Have Peace, Even If You Face Difficult Decisions
Peace doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious, nervous, scared, confused, or unsure about what you’re facing.
Any relationship that is serious will have big decisions along the way. You won’t always know what the future holds or “feel” 100% sure about your next step. That’s normal.
But when God is in the middle of a relationship, you shouldn’t constantly feel like you’re dragging yourself to stay in it. You shouldn’t feel like you have to ignore your gut feelings every time something is off because you’re scared of what might happen if you pull away.
God will never place you in a relationship that requires you to live in emotional chaos. Look at the big picture. Are you going through a hard week that’s temporarily throwing you off, or is this the normal feeling you face when you think about the relationship?
When you pray, spend time reflecting on your concerns, and talk to trustworthy people, do you feel a stronger sense of peace and clarity about what you should do?
God’s peace won’t always reveal every detail of your future. Sometimes his peace simply gives you enough confidence to take the next step.
Read also: 15 Early Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Going to Last
3. You Both Encourage Each Other to Become Better People
Love should not make you shrink.
When you know you’re with the right person, you should feel inspired to become an even greater person of character, responsibility, love, and purpose. That doesn’t mean your partner is trying to police you or change who you are at your core. It means that you both want to grow and create an environment that naturally allows that to happen.
You should also be able to encourage your partner to grow without trying to parent them, fix them, or try to play the role of their savior. Let their growth be their responsibility.
Look at how you influence each other. Are you building each other up? Do you feel safe enough to ask the hard questions? Can you admit when you’re wrong? Can you celebrate each other’s growth without feeling threatened by it?
When you know a relationship is truly from God, you’ll have enough security in yourself that you can support each other grow without one person having to lose themselves to “fix” or “complete” the other.
Read also: 6 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Losing Interest in the Relationship
4. There Is Mutual Respect, Honesty, and Trust
Chemistry and feelings are great, but feelings don’t determine whether a relationship is truly healthy.
You can feel amazing about someone and still be in a relationship full of manipulation, lying, disrespect, jealousy, and trying to control one another. That’s why you have to look past feelings and see how you actually treat each other.
Do you feel comfortable telling your partner the truth? Can you have disagreements without feeling attacked or humiliated? Does your partner respect your boundaries? Does what your partner say generally match what they do? Are you both able to apologize and take ownership when you wrong the other person?
Mutual respect is love telling you that this person is worth your time.
You don’t deserve to be with someone who constantly lies to you, tries to control you, threatens you, belittles you, or hurts you emotionally and physically.
Being in a relationship from God doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges or have issues to work through. But if your partner is abusing you and you refuse to leave “because God brought you together,” you’re missing the entire point of why your relationship should be from God in the first place.
Relationships should produce goodness and life, not fear and misery.
5. Your Values and Vision for the Future Are Compatible
Love is important, but so is your direction.
You can love someone and want different things out of life. You can promise to “make it work,” but sooner or later, marriage, kids, money, faith, family obligations, career goals, where you want to live, and lifestyle can become massive issues that either break your relationship or force one person to settle.
That is why you need to talk about the future rather than pretending everything will work out itself.
You don’t need to have identical life goals and career aspirations as your partner. But you should have enough shared values that you BOTH envision a future together without one person constantly giving up their dreams and priorities to accommodate the other.
Ask yourself if your relationship is going somewhere that you BOTH want to go. If you have to ignore major aspects of your life because you’re afraid that addressing the problem will end the relationship, that’s a red flag.
Relationships that last honor both people’s dreams and allow you to reach them TOGETHER.
6. The Relationship Produces Good Fruit in Your Life
One of the best things you can do when trying to figure out if a relationship is from God is to look at the fruit.
Who are you becoming because of this relationship? Are you growing to be more patient? Loving? Honest? Responsible? Peaceful? Giving? Supportive? Emotionally mature?
Is your partner becoming a better person too?
No relationship is going to be perfect, and both of you will have days where you fall short of being “good partners”. We all sin the same amount (none), but we sin in different ways. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t notice consistent patterns.
A healthy relationship from God will produce good fruit.
It will allow room for love, patience, kindness, faithfulness, self control, forgiveness, and humility to grow. If your relationship is constantly filled with fear, pretending, bitterness, lying, distance, and drains your emotional wellbeing, stop pretending that great chemistry means you have to stay no matter what.
See also: 8 Warning Signs You Might Be with the Wrong Person
Remember, just because you two clicked instantly doesn’t mean your relationship is healthy.
Look at the fruit of your relationship. Does it bring out the best in you or cause you to slowly lose pieces of who you are?
Conclusion
Figuring out whether your relationship is from God isn’t about looking for 1 major sign to ease your doubts.
It’s about noticing the fruit.
Does it draw you closer to God? Does it make you both better people? Is there real peace, honesty, respect, trust, and direction? Are you both growing in your lives or are you losing yourself in each other?
But most of all, prayer shouldn’t be something you do by yourself when trying to make a major decision about your relationship.
Seek wisdom.
Don’t make any relationship decisions simply because you had a feeling, something significant happened to ease your doubts, or you desperately want the relationship to be from God.
Take your time. Look at the facts. Talk to people who you trust and will tell you the truth.
You’re allowed to take things slow.
You don’t have to force anything to be God’s will.
If a relationship is truly from God and meant for your life, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your values, ignore huge red flags, or lose yourself just to make it work.
Let love be an beautiful thing, but allow wisdom to have a voice as well.
FAQ
How do I know if God sent me my partner?
There will never be 1 surefire sign that proves God sent you exactly who you’re meant to be with. Look at the relationship as a whole. Does it challenge you both to grow? Become better people? Does it honor your faith? Are you both honest and respectful of each other? Do you have shared values and a vision you BOTH want for the future?
Can a relationship be from God if we’re going through tough issues?
Yes. A God centered relationship means that even when you face problems, you both will always be willing to communicate, take responsibility, forgive each other, and strive for a healthier pattern.
Does God just make me feel like someone is the one?
Peace and conviction about a relationship are great, but they shouldn’t be your only form of “discernment”. Emotions come and go, so pay attention to the person’s character, their behavior, if they’re honest about their past, and what your relationship looks like over time.
What are the top signs that show me if a relationship is from God?
Some of the biggest signs are if it encourages your walk with God, allows you both to grow into better people, you trust each other, can build a life together without compromising what you believe in, and makes you feel closer to God when you spend time together.
Can God bring me together with someone who has a different personality than me?
Definitely. Your significant other doesn’t need to have the exact same personality as you. But you should be able to respect your differences, communicate well, have important shared values, and encourage each other to grow in life.
Should I break up with my partner if they’re hurting my relationship with God?
If you’re in a relationship where you feel constantly tempted to compromise your faith, values, boundaries, or what you know to be true in God, that needs to be addressed. Pray about it, talk to people who know you both, and really look at your relationship objectively. You shouldn’t ever feel guilty for leaving a relationship that hurts you emotionally or physically.
Can you love someone and know they’re not the right fit?
Of course. Love isn’t the only thing that matters when it comes to compatibility. You can love someone and know that the relationship may not be healthy, lasting, or what you need right now.
What if I don’t feel at peace about my relationship?
First, don’t automatically assume that because you don’t feel 100% sure that God is telling you to break up with your partner. But don’t ignore your instinct either. Pray about it. Look at the situation carefully without justifying red flags. Have an honest conversation with your partner and talk to people who know you both.
Save the pin for later
