I once spoke to a man who looked put together on the outside but was falling apart on the inside. Everything about his life looked okay when I saw him from afar. He had a stable job, good income, normal routine. Nothing seemed wrong.
But then he said something to me during our conversation that I’ll never forget.
He said, “I wake up every morning already tired of my life.”
Not tired physically. Emotionally tired. Mentally exhausted. Spiritually drained.
And honestly, most people quietly feel this way.
The sad thing about knowing you need to change your life is you rarely come to that realization because of one drastic moment. It slowly happens. Maybe you feel constantly empty. Easily frustrated. Emotionally drained. Like you’re just existing, but not actually living.
Maybe you continue going through the motions because your life technically looks “okay” when everyone else can see it. But deep down you know something just feels wrong. You have no energy. No motivation. You’ve lost all excitement for life. You feel numb and disconnected from yourself.
Sometimes your biggest problem isn’t failure. It’s comfort.
Comfort in a life that isn’t serving you anymore.
Changing your life won’t always mean quitting your job tomorrow or waking up and deciding to cut everyone out of your life overnight. It doesn’t always mean starting from scratch because you failed at something big. Sometimes it means changing your mindset, habits, priorities, or even your environment or direction.
But first, you have to realize your life needs to change.
These are 6 signs you may need to change your life.
1. You Feel Emotionally Drained Almost Every Day
Everyone feels tired sometimes. We all go through stressful periods in life. But there’s a difference between feeling tired and feeling emotionally drained almost every damn day.
If you feel yourself waking up on the wrong side of the bed more times than not, then you may be emotionally drained. You feel unmotivated, irritated, numb, tired, and blah when you wake up even though you slept plenty of hours. Your life may be emotionally draining you.
A lot of people suffer in silence from these feelings for years. They chalk it up to “adulting” being depressing. But it doesn’t have to be like that.
Notice how often you actually feel alive versus how often you feel like you’re just trying to make it through the day. When your day to day routine brings you down more times than it lifts you up, that’s when you know something needs to change.
It could be your environment. Your habits. Your career. Your relationships. Your mindset. Or many old emotions that never got resolved.
Learning more about emotional burnout and mental exhaustion can help you understand what’s causing you to feel tired all the time.
Read also: 10 Reasons Small Beginnings Change Everything
2. You No Longer Feel Excited About Your Future
If you stopped dreaming about your future because you no longer believe life will get better, that’s a huge sign.
You no longer feel excited about what tomorrow could bring. Every day is the same routine. You go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. You’ve lost your spark. Your drive. Your excitement for life.
What you think about consistently expands in your life. If you no longer allow yourself to dream or think about a better future, you will surely never reach it.
This is why people slowly settle for a life they hate.
They stop exploring. Stop dreaming. Stop pushing themselves to grow. They tell themselves “it is what it is.”
You should not feel disconnected from your future self.
That doesn’t mean you have to feel wildly excited every day or that life will be picture perfect when you start making changes. You will still have bad days. Life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies when you decide to take action. But you should at least feel a glimmer of excitement about the possibility of what your future has to offer.
If you dread thinking about tomorrow or wonder “what’s the point?”, then maybe it’s time to change your life.
Read also: How to Change Yourself Completely (12 Tips)
3. You Keep Repeating the Same Unhealthy Patterns
Lucky for me, I’ve seen enough of life to know that when you continue to experience the same painful situations over and over again, that’s the universe’s way of telling you to grow up and fix your sh*t.
Whether it’s always choosing emotionally unavailable partners, never asking for raises at work, eating junk food, staying indoors, or watching life pass you by, the pattern you keep repeating is a direct reflection of your life.
Sure, you can keep wanting different results while refusing to take different actions. But that’s how life works. You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. Your daily habits. Your mindset. Your level of growth is reflected in everything you do.
If you want different results, you have to do something different.
If you constantly find yourself in the same situation with a new person or job, take a look within. There’s usually something you’re unwilling to admit you’re doing wrong.
Instead of blaming everyone and everything around you, look in the mirror and ask yourself what you are doing to attract the same sh*t over and over again.
Understanding your self sabotaging behavior can help you change your life.
Change doesn’t always come by moving to a new city or job. Sometimes, you have to change your internal patterns before your external world will start reflecting it.
Read also: How to Change Your Life Starting Now – 8 Steps
4. You Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself
Man, I feel you if you’re reading this and really hate the life you’re living. I felt exactly this way for years.
You wake up and just feel numb to everything. The things you once loved no longer bring you joy. Your passion and spark are gone. You’ve lost who you are in the process of trying to “fit in” or simply trying to survive.
Some people lose themselves over time. Bit by bit.
You stop doing things that you love to do. You don’t celebrate your accomplishments like you used to. You slowly start censoring what you say until you barely speak up at all. All of your time and energy is spent pleasing everyone else instead of yourself.
You know you’ve lost yourself when life just doesn’t excite you anymore.
I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to make yourself a priority again. Make time to do things that you enjoy. Spend less time caring what others think and focus on YOU.
Your happiness should be your main priority. Everything else is secondary.
If you have to change your entire routine and lifestyle to find yourself again, that’s okay.
Sometimes you learn a lot about yourself when you strip your life down to nothing and rebuild it the way YOU want.
5. Your Environment Is Damaging Your Mental Health
The energy you surround yourself with will either lift you up or bring you down.
If you’re constantly around negative people who stress you out, complain all the time, talk behind your back, ignore your feelings, or have made your home their workplace, your mental health will slowly deteriorate with time.
One thing I learned a long time ago was that if you’re around emotionally negative people, chances are you’ll become just as negative on the inside.
You cannot allow yourself to grow and be your happiest self when you’re constantly surrounded by people who drain your energy.
There’s a reason why you feel better after spending time away from your friends or family who drain you. They bring you down without even realizing it.
When you change your environment, you automatically change your thinking. It’s why everyone at your job probably thinks the same way or seems to have similar problems.
Change your thoughts, and you change your life. But where you spend most of your time and who you allow into your life can strongly influence how you think.
Learn more about creating healthy boundaries and limiting negativity.
6. Deep Down, You Know You’re Unhappy
I hate bringing people down to their lowest point, but you know you’re unhappy.
Deep down, you know something needs to change.
You say you want to, but you don’t do anything about it. You’re scared. What if you fail at something else? What if you’re happier at your nine to five job than you actually are right now? What if you lose everyone you know once you decide to wake up?
These fears and what ifs will keep you right where you’re at if you let them.
You know you need to change your damn life.
Let me say that again, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
A lot of us are unhappy for years because change is scary, but nothing is comfortable about staying at a job you hate or with people who don’t bring you any value. You’re letting fear control your life if you allow yourself to stay stuck for too long.
You don’t have to quit your job tomorrow and immediately start over.
Change can come by simply changing your diet. Or how you talk to yourself. Or your nightly routine. Small steps lead to huge changes over time.
But you have to decide you WANT something better before anything in your life will change.
Conclusion
I wanted to share these 6 signs with you because I know what it’s like to be stuck wondering what’s wrong. There will be days you want to quit your job, then other days you show up with passion. It’s a crazy cycle we put ourselves through when we know something needs to change, but we don’t know where to start.
The reality is, you’re probably afraid of your life changing. Afraid you’ll fail at something new. Afraid to let go of people who have been there for years but no longer add value to your life. But if you continue to allow these people and patterns to remain in your life, you’ll never grow.
Allowing others to drain your energy without any regard for how you feel is toxic, and you don’t have to put up with that kind of behavior.
Change will never happen if you live your whole life making excuses for the same sh*tty things. You are the common denominator in every area of your life. Change your thoughts, and you change your life.
Do yourself a favor and make the changes necessary to live a life you actually love living.
Life’s too short to be numb to who you are or stuck in a routine that brings you zero excitement.
FAQ
How do you know when you need to change your life?
If you’re constantly tired, unhappy, stuck, numb to who you are, or continue repeating the same unhealthy patterns that never seem to get better, then you may need to change your life.
Is it normal to feel lost in life?
Yes and no. Of course, it’s normal to feel lost at certain points in your life. We all go through bouts of confusion, sadness, or uncertainty. The key is not letting those feelings consume you for YEARS.
What are the first steps you should take when wanting to change your life?
Understand what you don’t like about your current situation. Then take the necessary steps to improve your daily routine by setting healthy boundaries, changing your diet and habits, reaching out for support, and creating healthy goals.
Will changing your environment help you?
Your environment will impact you more than you know. From the people you allow into your life, the energy your home gives off, where you work, and even the type of conversations you have daily can heavily impact your mental health and emotional wellbeing. Surround yourself with positive people and places that make you happy.
Why do people stay stuck in unhappy lives?
Out of fear. Fear of starting over. Failure. Loneliness. Being judged. But life is too short to let fear dictate your decisions. If you want something badly enough, you will figure out how to make it work.
Do you need to completely quit everything to start happy?
No, but you have to be willing to let go of the things that no longer serve you and bring you joy. Start by making SMALL changes that you know you can commit to. You don’t have to quit your job or cut everyone out of your life overnight. Take small steps and build from there.
Can growth be uncomfortable?
Absolutely. Growth won’t always feel comfortable because change can be scary. But growth is YOU pushing past the uncomfortable thoughts and emotions to become a better version of yourself. Change is rarely comfortable.
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