“I feel like I’m holding it together just to function.”
How many times have you heard someone say something like this? How many times have you said something like this yourself?
I spoke with someone who was “put together” on the outside. Good career. Active social life. Always smiling when you saw them in public. We were getting to know each other though, so they decided to open up to me.
They said the sentence above.
It hit me because, despite how they appeared on the outside, what they said was something many people are feeling.
You are not okay. But you’re okay “enough.”
Many of us pretend like we are okay when deep down we are just holding it together.
And that is a problem.
Emotional suffering isn’t always this burning sense of chaos that throws you into crisis.
You can struggle mentally and still look “okay” on the outside. You can have a job, see your friends, sleep, and eat while silently crying inside from anxiety, burnout, unprocessed emotions, trauma, or inner turmoil.
That’s why therapy isn’t just for extreme situations. Therapy is for those wanting to better understand themselves, heal from their emotional patterns, and reset their thinking so they can feel better before it reaches that point.
But how will you know when it’s time for therapy?
These are 6 signs you need therapy
1. You Feel Emotionally Overwhelmed Most Days
If you constantly feel emotionally overwhelmed this is one of the biggest signs you could benefit from therapy.
Emotional overwhelm isn’t about having a bad day or being stressed about something. It is when you feel mentally checked out almost all of the time.
Small things become taxing. Simple decisions drain you. Responsibilities feel like too much to handle. It feels like you are constantly putting out emotional fires instead of calmly living your life.
Over time, this emotional buildup can make you feel like you constantly need to “catch up” mentally. You may even feel overwhelmed but not know exactly what you are overwhelmed about. It just feels like a lot.
This buildup is usually tied to unprocessed emotions, not having proper tools to manage stress, or something deeper that has been going on inside you that hasn’t been addressed.
Learning the basics of emotional regulation can help you understand why you may feel constantly overwhelmed.
Therapy will allow you to unpack what you are feeling overwhelmed about instead of just powering through life.
Read also: 10 Ways to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
2. You Continually Find Yourself in the Same Patterns
Life is full of patterns. Some are good and some are bad.
But if you constantly find yourself in the same bad patterns, that is a sign that something may need to change.
You may find that you:
- Continually end up in relationships with the same types of people
- Have trouble setting boundaries
- Feel abandoned / rejected again and again
- Self sabotage when things are going good
- Constant overthinker / emotionally spiral
You know you’re in a pattern when you start to experience the same issues, feelings, or reactions in different areas of your life. It’s like your life is a broken record and you can’t seem to change the song.
The issue with being stuck in emotional patterns is that no matter how hard you try to “not do them again” they keep happening. You find yourself back in the same place even though everything around you may have changed.
When you don’t understand why you do the things you do, you will continue to do them unconsciously.
Therapy can help you uncover your patterns. It can help you understand your triggers, attachment style, and the underlying emotions that cause you to repeat the same patterns over and over.
Read also: 6 Signs You Need to Change Your Life Completely
3. You Have No Idea How to Control Your Thoughts
Having too many thoughts inside your mind is another sign you may want to look into therapy.
If you constantly overthink things, are a worst-case scenario thinker, feel intrusive thoughts running through your mind, or start mentally spiraling and can’t get yourself out, these are all signs that your thought processes may need some assistance.
You’ll know your thoughts are out of control when:
- You replay conversations in your head
- All you can think about are negative outcomes
- You have trouble staying present
- Your mind races when you’re trying to relax
- You feel “stuck” in your head
Just wanting your thoughts to “shut up” is not necessarily a reason you need therapy. But if your thoughts frequently run away from you and you feel out of control of your own mind, that is something therapy can help with.
Working with a therapist can teach you how to slow your thought processes down. It can teach you how to manage anxious thoughts. It can teach you how to challenge your negative thought patterns and create new healthy habits with your mind.
There’s no “turning your brain off” switch, but learning how to manage your thoughts is something therapy can teach you.
If your mind feels like it never stops racing, learning about thought patterns and cognitive behavior therapy can help you take back control.
4. Your Emotional Responses Are Too Extreme
How you react to situations in life can tell you a lot about your emotional wellbeing.
If you ever feel like your emotional responses are too extreme, that is a sign that you may benefit from talking to someone.
Here are some examples:
- You get angry really easily over small things
- Once you get upset it takes a long time to calm down
- You tend to overreact when things don’t go your way
- You regret how you respond emotionally after you react
- Your emotions tend to be very intense
Just because your emotions may feel extreme does not mean you are “too emotional.”
More times than not, it means your emotional management skills have been overwhelmed due to life stress, past stress, or your emotional tank is empty from years of not dealing with your emotions properly.
Having intense emotions can make your life unpredictable. It can make you want to avoid certain situations so you don’t have to deal with your emotional reactions.
Learning how to regulate your emotions can make all the difference if you’ve ever felt like you are too “in your feelings.”
A therapist can help you understand your emotional triggers. They can help you learn how to build a tolerance for emotional discomfort and learn how to react in healthier ways.
5. You Feel Completely Zoned Out / Disconnected From Yourself
Ever feel like you are going through the motions of life but not actually living?
Many people who feel emotionally numb or disconnected from themselves look perfectly fine on the outside. They have jobs, relationships, hobbies, but something just feels…off.
Here are some signs you may feel disconnected from yourself:
- You no longer find enjoyment in the things you once loved
- You feel emotionally numb
- You have trouble identifying what you are feeling
- Life feels like you are watching it happen to you
- You constantly put others needs before yours
Feeling disconnected from yourself is often a slow process. It can happen because of life stress, buildup trauma, emotional suppression, or burnout.
Having a therapist help you reconnect with yourself is one of the most important aspects of therapy. They can help you identify who you are again. What you enjoy. What makes you feel alive.
Rebuilding your connection with yourself is key if you’ve ever felt numb or uninterested in life.
6. You Feel “Stuck” For No Reason
Feeling stuck in life is one of the biggest signs that something needs to change. However, if you feel stuck but can’t identify what it is, you need some help.
Maybe life looks “okay” on the outside but you feel unfulfilled. Maybe you know there is more to life but you don’t know what is holding you back.
You may:
- Feel sad but aren’t sure why
- Feel lost and alone
- Think “I should be happy, but I’m not”
- Feel like nothing is exciting anymore
- Say “something feels off” but can’t pinpoint what
When you feel stuck for no reason it is usually because something inside you isn’t settled. Whether that is unprocessed emotions, trauma you haven’t dealt with, a loss of identity, or feeling a lack of purpose. Something is out of balance inside you that is causing you to feel stuck even though you can’t understand what it is.
Most people will try to “fix” their life from the outside when in reality, the issue is on the inside.
Therapy will help you take a step back and look within at what is truly causing you to feel stuck instead of constantly seeking external fixes that don’t provide permanent relief.
Want To Feel Better? Therapy is a Tool to Help You
Just because you may struggle emotionally or feel like therapy could benefit you doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you.
In fact, realizing that you want to feel better is one of the first steps to actually feeling better.
Society has made us believe that being overly stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, burnt out, and emotional all the time is just “normal.” But it isn’t.
When you start to feel constantly overwhelmed, angry for no reason, emotionally numb, or just not yourself, something needs to change.
Your brain and emotions are just like any other part of your body. If you don’t take care of them, they aren’t going to function properly.
If you struggle with your emotional wellness and want to feel better, seek help.
Therapy is meant to be a tool you can use to better your life. It doesn’t have to be something you spend the rest of your life doing either. Many people only go to therapy for a few months because they got the help they needed and learned how to feel better on their own.
You don’t have to struggle and wish you could feel better forever.
Seeking help is the first step.
FAQs about Therapy
How do I know if I need therapy?
You know you may need therapy if you feel overwhelmed, emotionally unstable, stuck in negative patterns, and/or disconnected from yourself on a regular basis.
Is it normal to feel like shit but still function?
Yes. Functioning emotionally disordered is actually very common. You may have heard people say “high-functioning anxiety” or “high-functioning depression.”
What does therapy help with?
Therapy can help with anxiety, depression, overthinking, trauma, emotional regulation, relationships, self esteem, habits, and just about anything else you can think of.
Do I need to be suicidal/having a crisis to go to therapy?
No. Therapy is also for people who want to better understand themselves, prevent future issues, and grow emotionally in healthy ways. You don’t need to “hit rock bottom” to benefit from therapy.
Why do people hate therapy?
Typically because of the stigma surrounding it. But other reasons include fear of being vulnerable with someone, not knowing what to expect, thinking they can’t afford it, and more.
Can therapy change your life?
Absolutely. Therapy teaches you how to understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors which can positively impact every area of your life.
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