Love is complicated, and healthy relationships require understanding, communication skills, intentionality, and work.
That’s where good relationship books come in.
The right relationship advice book can teach you about communication, trust, emotional connection, conflict resolution, and even help you understand yourself better.
Whether you’re dating someone new, happily married, healing from heartbreak, or wanting to be a better partner, these books about relationships can bring powerful lessons to your love life.
20 Relationship Advice Books
1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – John Gottman
Dr. John Gottman is one of the world’s leading relationship experts. He has spent decades researching happy couples and noticing patterns that set them apart from struggling relationships.
Through his research, Gottman discovered specific principles that can predict whether a couple will flourish or fail. This book dives into those findings and presents them in a simple, understandable format.
You’ll discover why trying to avoid arguments is actually bad for your relationship. Instead, learn how to successfully manage conflicts without losing respect or affection for your partner.
Contains exercises that help couples improve their emotional connection.
Ideal for: Couples that want a book backed by scientific research instead of personal opinions.
Read also: 25 Relationship Advice Questions That Can Save a Struggling Relationship
2. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Why do some people seem fine no matter what relationship they’re in? Others scare easily and may even avoid being in love at all.
Attached is all about attachment theory and how it explains these differences.
You and your partner each have an attachment style (secure, anxious, or avoidant) that influences how you react and behave in romantic relationships.
Some people feel attacked by anything their partner says. But in reality, it’s probably your attachment style talking.
This was a GAME CHANGER for me because it taught me how to understand reactions that puzzled me for years.
Readers come away from this book with a better understanding of their own relationship habits and how to break unhealthy patterns.
Ideal for: Learning how attachment styles can affect your love life.
Read also: 8 Long Distance Relationship Advice Communication Secrets
3. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – John Gray
Men Are from Mars has been around for decades. But regardless of whether you believe every comparison made in the book, the overall message is valid.
Just because you’re in love with your partner doesn’t mean you think and communicate the same way.
This book highlights some of the common ways that men and women tend to misunderstand each other. For example, when women want to talk about their feelings but their partner doesn’t respond the way they expect.
Being aware of these differences can help you approach conflicts with more empathy.
Ideal for: Couples who tend to expect their partner to think the same way they do.
Read also: 10 Signs of a Difficult Husband in Marriage
4. The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
One common reason people say their partners “don’t show them love” is not because their partner withholds love. It’s because they show it in ways that go unnoticed.
We all have a “love language” that describes how we prefer to receive expressions of love from others. When your partner speaks your language, you feel loved and appreciated. But if they don’t, you might feel unloved even though they’re giving their love enthusiastically.
This book dives into the five love languages and helps you learn yours and your partner’s. Understanding your partner’s love language can improve your relationship instantly.
My wife and I read this book years ago, and it transformed how we show appreciation to one another. We were both speaking love languages the entire time but not listening to each other.
Ideal for: Couples that feel unappreciated or bored in their relationship.
Read also: 47 Heart Touching Love and Trust Messages for Him
5. Hold Me Tight – Sue Johnson
The foundation of every healthy relationship is emotional connection and security. Hold Me Tight was one of the first books I read about emotional bonds in romantic relationships.
We often get into repeating cycles of arguing with our partner that damage our connection. Hold Me Tight shows you how to break these negative patterns and replace them with positive ones.
Another huge part of the book is explaining why emotional safety is so important. Relationships aren’t built on trying to “fix” each other but understanding and accepting one another on a deeper level.
This book isn’t just going to tell you how to improve your relationship. It will show you how to enhance your emotional intimacy with your partner.
Ideal for: If you want to improve your emotional connection with your partner, this book is for you.
6. Getting the Love You Want – Harville Hendrix
Growing up has a way of secretly influencing how we behave and respond in relationships as adults.
Hendrix guides you through several exercises that will help you communicate better with your partner while gaining a better understanding of each other’s emotional needs.
It’s hard work, and you may not agree with everything he says. But if you truly want to grow with your partner, this book will push you in the right direction.
7. Boundaries in Marriage – Henry Cloud and John Townsend
If you’ve ever told your partner something in anger and immediately regretted it, you know how easy it is to say something harmful when your limits are tested.
Boundaries in Marriage teaches you how to create healthy boundaries as a couple while keeping intimacy alive.
Not only will this book help you improve your relationship, but it can help you as an individual too.
8. Relationship Goals – Michael Todd
When I first read Relationship Goals, I didn’t know what to expect. Michael Todd has a way of explaining life and relationships that sounds like he’s just having a conversation with you.
The book is split into sections on dating, commitment, communication, self love, and more. My biggest takeaway was how to stop searching for the perfect person and instead focus on becoming the right person.
Relationship Goals is great for anyone who wants advice that actually sounds like someone talking and not a textbook.
Ideal for: Readers who want practical advice and real life examples.
9. Love and Respect – Emerson Eggerichs
Men and women are different, and often what we desire most from our partner is different as well.
According to Eggerichs, most relationship problems stem from a wife not feeling loved and a husband not feeling respected.
While every relationship is different and learns to love differently, love and respect are ingrained in how most people show appreciation to their partner.
A lot of the advice in this book can be found in other relationship books. But having gender specific areas of the relationship discussed really helped my wife and me understand each other better.
Ideal for: Couples that want to learn how to break the cyclical pattern of arguments.
10. The Relationship Cure – John Gottman
Of all the John Gottman books I’ve read, The Relationship Cure might be my favorite.
Rather than focusing on large scale conflicts, The Relationship Cure is all about the small daily interactions we have with our partners.
Gottman describes these as “bids for connection.” When your partner tries to get your attention, you should always react in a positive way. Your reaction doesn’t always have to be big and extravagant. Even if it’s as simple as smiling and nodding, these small moments add up.
Think about how you can improve your relationship by simply altering small moments that you might overlook.
Ideal for: Couples that want to learn how to improve their relationship one day at a time.
11. Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel
Many couples experience a drift in passion as their relationships enter the long term stage.
One of the biggest obstacles to maintaining desire is how we view commitment. As uncomfortable as it may sound, intimacy and independence can provoke feelings of desire.
It’s true what they say about this book: read it with your partner!
Perel encourages couples to read along together and will make you question your ideas about love and marriage.
Ideal for: Couples that have hit a stalemate in their passion for one another.
12. Dare Greatly – Brené Brown
As I mentioned earlier, not all relationship books are exclusively about couples.
Daring Greatly is an incredible book on vulnerability and the power it has over our ability to create meaningful connections.
Brown explains the true importance of being vulnerable with your partner. Vulnerability doesn’t always mean sharing your feelings, but allowing yourself to be seen authentically by the one you love.
Reading this book as an individual will help you grow personally, but together you can both help each other grow closer than you ever have.
Ideal for: Learning how embracing vulnerability can make you a better partner.
13. Wired for Love – Stan Tatkin
Relationship advice tends to come at love from only one perspective. Psychiatry Professor Stan Tatkin looks at relationships through the lens of neuroscience.
Wired for Love shows you how to improve your relationship by understanding how your partner’s brain works.
By understanding how the brain influences our emotions and reactions, we can better adapt to one another.
You don’t have to be a scientist to read this book. Tatkin does a great job of simplifying his research, and you’ll learn plenty of practical relationship advice along the way.
Ideal for: Readers who want research backed strategies that focus on brain science.
14. Nonviolent Communication – Marshall Rosenberg
Arguments happen. No matter how well you get along with your partner, you will argue.
Nonviolent Communication doesn’t mean avoiding arguments. It teaches you how to express your feelings and needs without attacking your partner.
Along with expressing yourself, learning how to listen to others nonviolently is just as important. This book will teach you how to improve your relationships by listening with empathy and compassion.
These tools will not only help you with your partner, but better your friendships, family relationships, and even your professional skills.
Ideal for: Couples that want to improve communication but don’t know where to start.
15. Loving What Is – Byron Katie
The human mind can be our best friend or our worst enemy.
How many times have you started a fight with your partner because of something you assumed?
Loving What Is will teach you how to identify the thoughts that cause you pain and restructure them to create love and happiness.
Think about a relationship problem you’ve encountered and dig deeper. You may realize you created half of the problem in your head.
Ideal for: Changing the way you perceive your partner and problems that arise.
16. Us – Terrence Real
Most books about relationships put all the blame on one partner.
Us breaks that pattern by explaining how two people are responsible for the relationships they create.
Not only will you learn better communication skills and emotional practices, but Real teaches couples how to accept accountability together.
The mutual accountability you and your partner can develop after reading this book will help you leave the blame game behind.
Ideal for: Couples who tend to blame each other when problems arise.
17. The Meaning of Marriage – Timothy Keller
The Meaning of Marriage covers a lot of ground when it comes to relationships. Keller goes into topics we don’t usually see in everyday relationship books.
There are chapters about sex, sacrifice, spiritual connection, and how to support each other through life.
While this book is Christian based, I didn’t feel like my relationship would be fixed by relying on God.
The Meaning of Marriage was another book my wife and I read together that gave us a better outlook on how we can improve our marriage.
Ideal for: Couples looking to explore the deeper meaning of commitment.
18. Fight Right – John and Julie Gottman
“Any couple that can learn how to fight right can survive anything.”
Arguments are a natural part of relationships. Things will get heated between you and your partner.
Fight Right teaches couples how to disagree without destroying the respect and love you have for each other.
Simple things like avoiding the “dotting tactic” and rebuilding after a fight are easier said than done. But Gottman and Gottman will guide you through learning how to argue in healthy ways.
Ideal for: Couples that want to learn how to fight fair.
19. Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
The problem with most of us is that we say yes too much.
We agree to things we don’t want to do. We give more of ourselves when we shouldn’t. We let others walk all over us because we don’t know how to say no.
Boundaries are essential when it comes to your mental and emotional wellbeing. They can also make or break your relationship.
Tawwab teaches you how to set boundaries with anyone, including your partner.
You’ll feel less guilty when you learn why boundaries are so important.
Ideal for: Learn how to say no without feeling guilty.
20. The Mastery of Love – Don Miguel Ruiz
Much of Don Miguel Ruiz’s teachings are based on love and letting go of fear.
The Mastery of Love focuses on how our emotional wounds, expectations, and assumptions affect our romantic relationships.
Learning to love from a place of freedom rather than fear is the key to healthy relationships with others… and yourself.
You know yourself better than any book does. But if you’re open to learning and growing as a person, The Mastery of Love can guide you in the right direction.
Ideal for: Readers that want to better understand how fear affects your love life.
Conclusion
No book is going to miraculously fix your relationship. But the right book can provide you with knowledge and tools to better your relationship.
Knowledge alone will never help you improve your relationship. If you want to experience real change, you have to take action.
Take action by reading, practicing what you learn, and trying again if you fail.
These are the best relationship advice books I’ve read (so far). If you take anything away from this list, let it be that even reading one of these books will not fix your relationship. Only you can do that.
Not by reading a couple book, but by actually applying what you learn from them.
FAQ
What is the best relationship advice book couples should read?
Many relationship experts agree that The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the best overall book on relationships. Its lessons are backed by years of research, and you can put the principles to use immediately.
Which relationship book is best for learning communication?
Nonviolent Communication is the best book for learning how to communicate effectively with your partner.
What relationship book should I read before getting married?
The Meaning of Marriage, The Five Love Languages, and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work are some of my favorite books for couples about to get married.
Are relationship books actually helpful?
Yes. Any relationship book can be helpful if you apply what you learn. Books give you the ability to learn from others’ experiences so that you can prevent similar mistakes in your own relationship.
Which relationship book teaches you about attachment styles?
Attached is the best book to read if you want to learn about attachment styles and how they impact relationships.
Can reading relationship advice books fix your relationship?
Relationship books can guide you in the right direction, but they can’t fix your relationship overnight. Think of each book as a tool that can help you and your partner grow individually and as a couple.
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