There’s one piece of breakup advice that has held true over the last decade that I’ve spent studying relationships and breakups.
Nearly every woman gets no contact wrong.
They believe you should ghost him and hope he realizes what he had.
But no contact isn’t meant to be passive. During no contact you need to be active. It’s during that time that you create either emotional-amnesia or…
You create a once-in-a-lifetime crush that he’ll never forget.
Men don’t suddenly “miss you”.
Missing you is activated by a series of events.
Distance > Contrast > Curiosity > Emotional Vacuum
If you want to know how to make him truly miss you during no contact then stop missing clicks and keep reading.
How to Make Him Miss You During No Contact (8 Practical Tips)
1. CUT HIM OFF COMPLETELY (No “Little” Texts)
Look, if you think popping in to “check up on him every now and then” is still allowed then you’re doing no contact all wrong.
Here’s the deal:
NO CONTACT ONLY WORKS IF IT’S 100% CLEAN CUT.
- No texts
- No replies
- No reacting to his Instagram stories
- No responding to his calls
Drop off the face of the earth emotionally.
Withdrawal creates a longing.
Longing creates a remembering of your presence.
As long as he has easy access to you, he won’t miss you.
Fact.
Read also: 80 Revenge Quotes About Moving On
2. Quit Responding/Reacting To Him On Social Media
THIS IS BY FAR THE NUMBER ONE MISTAKE WOMEN MAKE.
Not responding to him is good.
But scrolling through his Instagram stories or Twitter posts and reacting/judging everything he posts?
DON’T DO IT.
What happens here is you become this invisible puppet that’s secretly living in his story-engagement section.
Read that again.
From his point of view, if he sees you regularly checking his social media profile you’re:
Available.
Available = No Mystery.
No mystery = No curiosity.
And when a man loses that…
You lose him.
Read also: 10 Signs You Truly Love Someone
3. Get Hot (Without Trying Too Hard)
This tip is your secret weapon.
If used correctly, you’ll have him sweating over how good you look when you re-emerge from no contact.
How?
When women really want to get their ex back during no contact they…
…Immediately start posting pictures of themselves on Instagram showing off their new “fit body” with some fancy hashtag people don’t know how to pronounce.
Yeah, don’t be that girl.
Trust me, I understand the impulse.
I’ve been there.
Hell, I probably uploaded at least 5 dodgy gym-shoe selfies to prove people I was working out…
BUT…
ACTIONABLE ATTRACTIVENESS IS INTERNAL.
It happens behind the scenes.
Yes, take care of your appearance.
Fix your skin/grooming.
Upgrade your style.
Start working out and watching what you eat.
But do it with no one else in mind other than YOU.
By the time you reach out to him or he sees you again, he should notice DIFFERENCE.
Difference = Emotional Reaction.
Emotional Reaction = Curiosity.
Read also: 7 Daily Self-Motivation Habits
4. Live Your Life (& Have Fun!)
There’s an old saying that I love.
“The best way to get someone to notice you is to stop acting needy.”
Now don’t get this twisted.
Don’t throw yourself a pity party.
What I’m saying is:
FUCK LINING YOUR LIFE WITH PILLS AND ICE CREAM.
Go out with your friends.
Have fun.
Find a hobby.
Pursue your goals.
LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT HIM INVOLVED.
You’re doing this for one reason and one reason only:
REALITY CHECK
Does he see you posting about the fun you’re having without him? Yes.
Do you know what that does to a man’s mind? He instantly starts thinking about all the times you two used to have fun.
When he remembers all the good times, he’ll freaking MISS YOU.
5. Don’t Turn Your Socials Into Emo Broadcasts
I can’t tell you how many times I see women ruin their chances by blatantly posting all over social media things that say:
“I miss you”
“You were the best thing that happened to me…”
“This is me now”
“I hope karma ruins your life”
DON’T DO IT!
All that does is scream:
EMOTIONALLY INSTABLE WOMAN WITH NO LIFE
Sure, post quotes if it feels natural to you.
Post pictures of your adventures.
Keep it light, keep it chill, and most importantly, keep it…
MYSTERIOUS
6. Stop “Checking In” On Him
Look, I get it.
You want to make sure he’s okay.
But…
“I hope everything is going well” isn’t no contact.
“No texting for 3 days and then sending a small emoji just to see if he replies” is not no contact.
The power of no contact is destroyed the second you give him ANY ounce of emotional accessibility.
Think about it:
If you want him to miss you…
HE HAS TO MISS YOU BEING THERE.
7. Don’t Freak Out If He Contacts You First
He texts you.
Awwww yiss.
Hold up.
Unless you’ve actually implemented some serious self-love and growth during your time away from him, resist the urge to:
- Be over-excited that he reached out
- Share every detail of your life since he left
Girl, take a breather.
If he contacts you first during no contact:
STAY CHILL.
When emotion is involved in a response it kills your value.
Value = attractiveness.
Attractiveness = memory.
At this point you only have 1 job:
Reply and keep it short. Don’t give off that desperate vibe.
8. Be Patient (It Takes Time)
One mistake I see women make during no contact is they get bored, frustrated, or emotionally curious and start looking up at the ceiling wondering:
“How long should I wait before he misses me??”
Newsflash.
There is no definitive answer.
Missing someone isn’t a switch you flip.
It’s a process that happens over time.
Stage 1: Relief
Stage 2: Curiosity
Stage 3: Reflection
Stage 4: Emotional Recall
As soon as you break the no contact rule you force him back to stage 1.
Simple.
Just remain absent for long enough that…
Memories have a chance to do their thing.
Conclusion
Bonus tip: If the only time you feel like you’re worth “someone’s time” is when you CUT OFF all contact with them…
THEN THE REAL WORK IS ON YOU to figure out how to become a woman that never has to disappear in the first place.
That’s when the magic happens.
But enough from me!
Now it’s your turn.
How do YOU plan on implementing NO CONTACT into your strategy?
Let me know down in the comments!
FAQ
How long should I wait to contact him?
Till you see signs that he’s missing you. Day 3, Day 30, who knows. Just wait until you can clearly tell he needs you back.
Will posting make him miss me?
Sure, as long as you’re posting for YOU and not for him. Post how you feel, when you want to. But don’t post with the intent of making him react.
What if he reaches out to me?
Don’t be over-emotional. Just reply and keep it short. Don’t let hunger set in by trying to force a conversation.
Will no contact always make him miss me?
No. It just allows room for him to reflect on your relationship. If he wasn’t that into you, he won’t suddenly become that into you during no contact.
What’s the worst mistake I can make during no contact?
Contacting him too soon. You put in all this work to disappear and show change, and the second you reach out, you undo all the progress you made.
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