A few months back, I was sitting outside having a conversation with a married couple.
The wife kept expressing how hard she worked for her husband. “I cook dinner, I clean the house, I provide for him. I just don’t know why he treats me like this.”
And the husband didn’t defend himself. He stayed quiet for a few seconds and simply said…
“I know she does a lot for me… but she doesn’t make me feel seen.”
Hearing that hurt my heart, but it also opened my eyes.
It made me realize that most people get this concept of “making your man feel valued” WRONG.
Yes, doing nice things for him is important, but if he never FEELS your efforts, it won’t mean much.
When it comes down to it, feeling valued is an emotional experience.
So if you want to make your man feel special and wake him up, you have to make sure he’s feeling it too.
If you’re reading this, you probably love your man and you want to make sure he feels the things that you do.
You don’t want to just DO more for him. You want to do the RIGHT things that will make him feel LOVED.
Let’s jump into…
How to Make a Man Feel Valued
1. Acknowledge What He DOES For You (Yes, Even the Little Things)
One of the quickest ways to make a man feel invisible is to ignore what he does.
You may think he does so much that you take it for granted. “Of course he does that for me.”
Girl, hear me out.
When things are taken for granted, they stop being done. But when they’re appreciated, they’ll DOUBLE.
Tell him you notice. Let him know that what he does MATTERS to you. And don’t be afraid to show him that he MATTERS to you.
Read also: 10 Clear Signs Your Husband Loves You Deeply
2. Respect Him With Your Words
Men can’t feel respected if you constantly talk down to them.
And guys actually require respect in relationships more than most women think. If you want to make your man feel loved, you NEED to show him respect.
You can say you “love” him all day long, but if you’re not holding some type of respect in your heart when you say it, it loses its value.
And the way you speak to him, especially when you’re arguing, will determine how respected he feels.
Learn how to communicate with him without tearing him down.
Read also: How to Keep Your Love Life Alive
3. Let Him Feel Needed
Independence is great, but men need to feel like they “fill something” in your life.
You don’t want to seem dependent on him, but you also don’t want to push him away by doing everything on your own.
Allow him to help you. Allow him to contribute. Don’t forget to ask for his opinion.
Make sure he feels like he has a place in your life.
4. Show Him Appreciation For Who He Is
Most people only show appreciation for what a man can DO for them. Provide. Fix. Show up.
Sure, those are great things. But you should also show appreciation for who he IS.
His character. His thoughts. The way he looks at life.
When you appreciate who he is as a human being on this planet, it encourages him to feel valuable at his core, not just for what he brings to the table.
5. Be There When He Opens Up to You
Men are usually not the best at opening up their emotions. Most times, when they do open up, it can be monumental.
Listen to him. Don’t interrupt. Don’t judge. Allow him to speak and release what he’s feeling.
When he feels heard by you, he’s going to feel closer to you than you know.
6. Be Supportive of His Goals
Every man has goals. Things they want to accomplish. Dreams they want to chase.
Show interest in his goals. Let him know you support him and you want to see him win.
P.S. SUPPORT DOES NOT MEAN ASKING HIM A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT IT EVERY DAY.
We all know people that do this to their partners. They become so obsessed with the goal that it’s no longer supportive.
But if you can cheer him on, without becoming annoying, you’ll make him feel incredible.
7. Show Him Affection His Way
Touching and sex can be great forms of attraction. But some men are more highly attracted to things like words.
Learn his love language. Figure out what type of attraction he responds to the most.
And focus on showing him affection that matters to HIM.
8. Trust Him
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard stories about women who drive their partners insane with constant checking.
If he gave you a reason not to trust him, sure, you’d want to monitor his every move.
But if he loves you and you haven’t given him a reason not to trust him, let him be free.
Show him that you trust him, and he’ll show you that he can be trusted.
9. Celebrate Him
We typically celebrate accomplishments.
We celebrate graduations. Promotions. Milestones.
But what about the actual person behind those accomplishments?
Make him feel proud of who he is on the inside. Praising his character will allow him to feel valued for more than just his achievements.
10. Make Him Feel CHOSEN
When a woman barely has a choice to say no to her man but says yes because she feels stuck with him, that makes him feel cheap.
But when a woman chooses her partner intentionally, that makes him feel sought after.
Make your man feel as if you wouldn’t rather be with anyone else but him.
Bonus Tip: Pay attention to the little things. Show genuine interest. Ask questions and actually LISTEN.
When you make him feel CHOSEN, you make him feel valued.
Conclusion
Never forget that actions will only go so far.
You can do all the stuff for your man that you want, but if he never FEELS you, it won’t matter.
It all comes down to how you make him feel.
How you speak to him, how you listen to him, how you appreciate him, how you show up for him emotionally.
When your man feels VALUED, he will give you everything he’s got.
He will show up.
He won’t have to because he WANTS to.
“So, am I doing enough for my man?”
No. You can always do more to make him feel appreciated.
But ask yourself this…
Are you making him feel appreciated in the RIGHT ways?
THAT is what will matter most.
FAQ
Q: How can I make my man feel valued?
A: By respecting him, showing appreciation, listening to him, and allowing him to feel needed.
Q: What does it mean to make your man feel valued?
A: It means showing him that you care about him, his goals, and his emotions.
Q: How do you make someone you love feel special?
A: Listen to them and allow them to feel heard. Show interest in the things they like to do.
Q: What do women want most in a relationship?
A: To feel respected, loved, and appreciated.
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