A friend of mine asked me recently why the guys she liked just never seemed to “stay interested.” Guys were hitting her up all the time, but she couldn’t understand why they never turned into anything serious.
“What am I doing wrong?” she asked me this time and time again.
What was interesting wasn’t that she was unattractive or boring (she wasn’t). What was happening was she was focusing too much on heavy flirting techniques and “getting him to chase you” when simple things were being overlooked. Knowing how to get a guy to like you starts with understanding real life attraction, it’s not magic, and it’s not about playing games.
Let’s fix that.
Ways to Get Guys to Like You (11 Psychology-Based Tips)
1. Be Comfortable With Yourself First
First of all, you need to be comfortable with yourself.
Actions speak louder than words. If you need a guy to tell you that you’re pretty or that you’re worth someone’s time, you’re going to emit that energy without realizing it.
Men love confidence (in a person’s personality, look, and life). When you don’t require constant validation from your phone or other people, you become that much more attractive to them.
Gain some serious self-confidence and self-worth, and you’ll notice your body language and conversation style changes. And that, right there, is a lot more attractive than anything you can say.
Read also: 8 Things Guys Want From Their Girlfriends That Build Real Connection
2. Ease Up On The Aggressive Pursuing
Never underestimate how quickly you can kill attraction by trying too hard.
I know your goal is to get him to like you, but if you bombard his every move with intensity, he’ll run for the hills.
Constant texting, over explaining, and going “all in” too soon scares most people away. You want to allow a comfortable amount of intrigue to build.
You show interest, but you don’t exaggerate your actions in an obsessive way. Easy does it.
Read also: 60 Weird Questions to Ask a Guy
3. Show Genuine Interest in Him
This should really go without saying, but one of the best ways to get anyone to like you is to show interest in them.
Ask questions. Find things that you genuinely enjoy talking about with him. Don’t pepper him with questions like an interrogation session, make it natural.
When you get someone to open up to you and feel like you care about what they have to say, you instantly build emotional rapport.
Emotional connection equals attraction.
Read also: 10 Things That Make a Guy Instantly Unattractive
4. Don’t Feel Like You Need To Reveal Everything About Yourself
You don’t have to go into your life story on the first day.
If anything, give a little tease here and there and let the rest of your information be uncovered slowly but surely.
Curiosity breeds attraction. Don’t overload him with information about every ex you’ve had or how much you hate your job.
Let him ask questions and take interest in finding more about you.
5. Take Care of Your Appearance in a Natural Way
Physical attraction is still a big part of modern day relationships.
It doesn’t mean you have to look like a social media influencer—though if that’s your thing, more power to you.
Taking care of your hygiene, dressing well (and within your means), and looking like you take pride in your appearance is enough.
Like we said before, confidence is key.
6. Don’t Be Emotionally Needy
If he texts you once, you reply twenty. If he likes one of your social media posts, you flood his DM’s for an explanation why.
Sound familiar?
Being “needy” or requiring validation that he likes you as much as you like him will push him away faster than you know.
An emotionally independent woman is much more attractive because it allows a relationship to grow at healthy levels. Don’t lean on him to make you feel better about yourself.
Be your own best friend.
7. Have Your Own Life and Interests
Along the same vein as being emotionally independent, you want to make sure you have your own life.
You have things you like to do, places you like to go, and goals you want to achieve. Your life doesn’t need to be centered around one specific person.
It’s healthy to want to spend time with someone you like, but don’t feel as though you NEED to be with him every minute of the day.
Developing your own sense of individuality and an independent lifestyle is VERY attractive.
8. Keep The Energy Light and Fun
How you communicate is just as important as what you say.
If every time you talk to this guy you give off bad vibes, feel anxious, or constantly complain about your life, he’s going to pick up on that—and not like it.
You don’t have to be “ON” 100% of the time when you’re hanging out with your guy, but you should always try to keep your energy as positive as possible.
People are attracted to other people who make them feel good.
9. Be Confident, Not Controlling
There is a fine line between being confident and being controlling.
You want to exude confidence. Let him know you’re an awesome person that deserves the best, but don’t try to control his thoughts or emotions about you.
You can be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table without having to strong arm your way into his heart.
Remember: confidence attracts. Control repels.
10. Don’t Be Too Available
This is sort of a factor of “not needing attention from him to feel good about yourself.”
When you’re available every time he texts, calls, or wants to hang out, you become what we like to call “too available.”
You don’t have to play games by ignoring his calls or pretending not to care about him, but you shouldn’t feel the need to run to your phone every time he sends a text either.
Emotional availability is just as important as physical availability.
11. Allow Attraction to Build
One of the most common mistakes I see with guys and girls wanting to attract each other is trying too hard.
Attraction doesn’t just happen overnight, although sometimes it can.
Try to take things slow. Let a comfortable medium of communication, good energy, and mutual interest build a solid foundation.
You’ll know when the time is right.
Wrap Up
Attracting anyone to you isn’t hard. At least it shouldn’t be.
If you focus on being a good human being with great people skills (confidence, energy, communication, emotional stability), you’ll attract the right person into your life.
You don’t need to be anyone but yourself to get someone to want to date you or be with you exclusively.
They just need you to be the best version of yourself possible.
FAQ
How do you make a guy like you quickly?
Typically confidence and light, positive energy tends to create quick attraction. Building lasting interest will come with time and consistent great behavior.
Should I act different to get him to like me?
No, acting fake never works long term. Be yourself and let things work themselves out naturally.
Do Looks Or Personality Matter More?
Looks initially trigger attraction, but personality and behavior are what create long term interest.
How do I know if a guy likes me?
Repeated effort and communication. If he goes out of his way to talk to you and learn more about you, that’s a good sign.
Can I make someone like me?
You cannot force anyone to like you, but you can always set yourself in the best position to be liked.
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