Recognizing these types of men early prevents you from months and years of stress. Pain. Heartache.
Because you start realizing that it’s not about WHAT he does. It’s about WHO he is.
Do you know someone who wonders “why does he do that?” only to ask the same question over and over again? My guess is that you want a black and white answer for the sake of avoiding the simple truth:
Some personality types will never change.
You can deal with that person changing on a superficial level (i.e. stopping the behavior for you), but you can’t change who they are as a person.
If he’s going to grow, he will, on his own time.
So stop wasting time with people who don’t align with you and show you who they are NOW.
Want the truth? If you know these types well enough, you can recognize them from the start.
You see, people aren’t evil when they act crazy. Their actions come from something deeper than behaviors: their personality.
And your boyfriend or partner’s personality will show itself early.
When you know the types above well enough, you’ll stop excusing weird behavior.
8 Types of Men Personalities Every Woman Should Recognize Early
1. The Type Who Avoids Intimacy and Gets Bored Easily
He seems like your dream guy at first.
Easy conversation. Secure. He knows what to say and when to say it.
He can make you feel sexy, heard, and important without even trying.
Dates are fun. You get along on pretty much every level.
But as time goes on, you feel less secure.
You “should” be getting serious by now, but he hesitates.
He doesn’t like deep discussions about the future. He wants to keep things light and casual. Every time you try to move closer, he pulls away just enough to keep you from feeling comfortable with his lack of commitment.
Sound familiar?
This type avoids emotional intimacy at all costs.
Sure, he can provide great attention and affection in the beginning. But once you want to move beyond playing games, he loses interest fast.
You have to catch this early or you’ll find yourself trying to change him and make him want to be with you enough to commit. Spoiler alert: he probably won’t.
Read also: 8 Things Men Notice About Women Immediately
2. The Emotionally Unavailable Man
This guy isn’t bad or wrong. In fact, you could probably deal with him long term if he opened up more.
The thing is, he doesn’t.
He never has, he never will.
It’s just who he is.
Emotionally unavailable men avoid going deep. They won’t open up about their feelings. They stay away from anything that could be considered vulnerable or transparent.
You’ll constantly feel like you’re running into a wall, no matter how much you try to “reach” him.
Emotional distance isn’t something you can change about someone.
You know the type that promises they’ll “open up to you when they’re ready?” Yeah. They never do.
But don’t mistake being emotional with someone for being in an emotionally healthy relationship.
It takes two to tango.
Both people have to be willing to get vulnerable with each other. One person can’t do all the heavy lifting.
Read also: 13 Physical Traits Women Like in Men
3. The Controlling Man
This type of man loves to control aspects of your life.
He wants to know where you are at all times. He has an opinion about everything you do.
At first, he’ll likely try to convince you that he’s just looking out for you.
But the more you get to know him, the more controlling he becomes.
Does he ask how your day was? Sure.
Does he then question every little detail about it after you say it was good? Also sure.
Friends? Let him analyze your friends and their intentions before you can hang out with them.
This guy will try to control any part of your life he can. And the sooner you can identify that he does this, the sooner you can save yourself from falling too deep.
Control in a relationship is not romantic, and it’s not caring. It’s narcissistic.
Read also: 9 Ways a Friend Gaslights You
4. The Consistent and Reliable Type
He doesn’t have to do grand things to show you he loves you.
In fact, he shows you in the smallest ways every day.
He keeps you comfortable by simply being there. You know where you stand with him.
There are no games. No drama. He’s not going to suddenly change how he feels about you or make you question your relationship.
You know what you get with him, and that consistency is priceless.
You may not feel “wow” about him in the beginning because he’s low key, but after a while, you’ll realize just how valuable it is to have a man who knows how to be in a healthy relationship.
5. The Type Who Needs Constant Reassurance
This man is clingy… and I don’t mean in a cute way.
He needs validation from you often.
He may even ask you for it. Come on now, we all know the type that needs you to text him back right away, or they feel like you don’t care.
He may get jealous easily or require lots of attention to feel good about himself.
You feel great because you know he needs you.
But what happens when you don’t feel great? When you’re busy with work, or just don’t feel up to giving him what he needs?
His emotions are tied to how you make him feel about himself. And if you’re the only person who can do that, you will quickly grow tired of always having to provide him that.
Low self esteem in a relationship will drain you like no other.
6. The Guy Who Won’t Put The Relationship First
He has ambition.
You know he wants more out of life than what he has now.
But there’s just one problem: He won’t put you first.
Too much time is spent working, focusing on his goals, or improving himself that he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve.
If he cares about himself and his career, shouldn’t he care about you and your relationship with him too?
Ambition is great, but your relationship shouldn’t always come in second place.
7. The Hot and Cold Man
It seemed like he really liked you at first.
Then all of a sudden, he changes.
You never know if he’s coming or going with this guy.
One day he’s all love tweets and attention. Other days he goes MIA for no reason at all.
You want to understand why he does the things he does. Why he changes his mind so often.
You begin to question everything you do and say, just hoping you can pinpoint what made him turn cold if it happens again.
Changing yourself to try and keep him interested is a one way ticket to frustration town.
This type of hot and cold emotional behavior is caused by an insecure attachment style.
Until he learns how to be consistent, you’re going to keep experiencing the emotional highs and lows that go along with it.
8. The Emotionally Mature Man
He knows who he is.
He’s emotionally intelligent, meaning he knows how to deal with his emotions and express them in healthy ways.
He doesn’t turn arguments into World War 3 just so he can be right.
He accepts responsibility when he’s wrong and isn’t afraid to speak up when he needs to.
There’s no games with him because he’s secure enough in himself and your relationship that he doesn’t have to play them.
You never have to question your conversations or his actions because he will show you every day that he’s proud to be with you.
His personality screams emotional intelligence.
(Empathy. Honesty. Transparency. Responsibility. Patience.)
Emotional intelligence is the single greatest predictor of a couple’s success down the road.
Don’t waste your time on boys that will grow up.
Conclusion
Human beings are not evil.
They don’t randomly wake up and decide to be crazy just to hurt others.
Their behavior comes from something far deeper: their personality.
And your boyfriend’s personality will show itself early on if you know what to look for.
When you know these 8 types well enough, you’ll waste less time.
You’ll stop excusing red flags and attempting to read too much into situations that seem grey.
Dating these types of guys won’t work out because their personality won’t allow for it.
So stop wasting time with boys that won’t change.
Find a man that knows who he is right now.
FAQ
Can a man change his personality?
Yes and no. Of course, people can improve upon themselves and grow as a person, but bad personality traits are hard to change. Real change comes from self awareness, work, and time.
How do I know which type he is?
It’s simple. Stop focusing on his words and start focusing on patterns. Actions speak louder than words, but consistency over time is the truest form of action.
Isn’t it bad that I avoid certain personality types?
No. Some people are just plain incompatible, and that’s okay! Recognizing that you work well with certain types of people will help you seek those people out.
Can one person have more than one of these types?
Of course! No one is perfectly any one type of person. Human beings are complicated and yes, some guys can fall into multiple categories. Identify the dominant type his personality leans toward.
Which type is best for a long term relationship?
Any type that values emotional intimacy and consistency. If a man shows you who he is now, he’s a great candidate for long term relationship material.
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