If I had to guess what women struggle with the most in relationships, I would say feeling unappreciated. Men love their wives and girlfriends. But over time, they stop telling their partners how amazing they are.
It’s not that these men don’t love their partners. They love them very much, but they just don’t express it in the same way that you need.
You’ve probably heard her say something like, “He still loves me, but he doesn’t say anything nice.” Believe me when I say that girl is out there, and she’s staring right at you in the mirror.
The truth is that compliments are one of the easiest ways to show appreciation. And when that disappears from your relationship, chaos and confusion often ensue.
But instead of freaking out, you have to gain clarity, awareness, and take action. If your boyfriend never compliments you, here are 10 things you should do.
10 Things to Do If Your Boyfriend Never Compliments You
1. First, Don’t Jump To Negative Assumptions
When your partner stops complimenting you, your mind immediately fills with negative thoughts and assumptions.
“He doesn’t love me anymore.”
“He’s losing interest.”
“He’s cheating on me.”
Sound familiar?
While all of these things are possible, they are not the most likely explanation.
Some people are just not very good at expressing themselves verbally. Others have just grown comfortable with you and stopped doing the little things that go a long way.
Before you go full on drama queen on your boyfriend, take a deep breath and observe the situation for a few days. You’ll thank yourself later for not jumping to conclusions out of pure emotion.
Read also: 15 Ways to Respect Your Boyfriend
2. Check If He Loves You In Other Ways
Some men are just not complimenting people. Some men show love and appreciation by their actions, consistency, time, and support.
Rather than focusing on one side of the relationship, take a step back and look at the big picture.
How does he treat you in general?
Is he supportive?
Does he make you feel loved?
When one area of your relationship is lacking, it is not uncommon for the other areas to overcompensate.
Read also: 66 Things Men Say When They Love You
3. Start Giving Him The Energy You Want To Receive
If you want your man to start complimenting you more, you have to show him what that looks like.
Begin leaving him compliments here and there. And I’m not talking about some fake line you make up either.
Tell him genuine things that you appreciate about him. He will pick up on your positive energy and reciprocate.
This creates a cycle of healthy emotional exchange.
Read also: 30 Ways to Compliment a Guy Nonchalantly Without Being Obvious
4. Communicate How You Feel (Don’t Be Emotional)
If your boyfriend never compliments you, don’t expect him to suddenly start doing it. If something is wrong in your relationship, you have to be the one to address it.
However, instead of approaching him when you’re feeling angry or emotionally unstable, take a deep breath and tell him how his actions or lack thereof makes you feel.
“I feel appreciated when you tell me you love me.”
“You make me feel so beautiful when you compliment me.”
As you can see, there is no accusatory tone to these statements. You are simply voicing how his behavior affects you emotionally.
This cultivates healthy communication habits.
5. Don’t Let Compliments Be The Source Of Your Self Esteem
This may be the biggest revelation you’ll read all day.
Your self esteem should not rise and fall based on whether your partner is complimenting you or not.
Sure, it feels good when your boyfriend gives you compliments. But you shouldn’t need him to walk around with a positive self image.
If he’s the only person who makes you feel good about yourself then you have bigger problems.
Developing a strong sense of self is important when it comes to relationships.
6. Pay Attention To How He Reacts Emotionally
There are plenty of people in this world who don’t realize that they’ve stopped complimenting their partner.
It’s not that they don’t care, they just haven’t been aware that they’ve fallen into a routine.
Take notice if he is emotionally aware in other areas of the relationship.
Does he notice when you’re upset?
Does he try to cheer you up when something is wrong?
If he is emotionally aware outside of dropping the occasional compliment, he may just be oblivious.
His emotional intelligence will determine how he communicates.
7. Avoid Begging For Validation
If your boyfriend never compliments you, it is normal to want more validation.
You start playing games by changing your appearance, going out of your way to make him happy, and generally trying to become a unicorn that pleases him.
But more times than not, this will have the opposite effect and will turn you into his emotional servant.
Instead of begging for scraps of validation, stand your ground.
This way you maintain your own emotional integrity.
Learn more about why you should always maintain your own sense of self respect when in a relationship.
8. Evaluate the Overall Emotional Connection
I cannot stress this enough. Compliments do not make or break a relationship.
Yes, they are nice to hear and they can help you feel better about yourself. But if the rest of your relationship is solid, occasional compliments will not destroy it.
Do you feel loved?
Do you feel taken care of?
Is he supportive?
As long as you can answer yes to these questions, I promise you’ll be fine.
When you take a step back and look at the big picture, you will see your relationship for what it truly is.
An area that is lacking emotional connection.
9. Create Space for Appreciation to Return Naturally
The last thing you want to do is push your boyfriend away by constantly nagging him for compliments.
You need to allow room for him to come back to you emotionally.
Don’t get me wrong, you should absolutely communicate how you feel. But you shouldn’t do it in a way that causes more conflict.
By creating space and allowing him to come to you on his own, you will encourage a natural reconnection.
Allowing for natural emotional reconciliation.
10. Decide If He Is Really Right For You
This may be the hardest thing for you to read. But if your boyfriend never compliments you and he continues to show no effort in changing, you have to ask yourself:
IS HE REALLY WORTH IT?
The truth is, not all men are big on words of affirmation. And just because he may not be verbally complimenting you, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
However, if you feel fulfilled when you hear your partner give you a compliment, then that’s something you need in a relationship.
This is something you should consider when looking for a long term partner.
Relationship compatibility matters when looking for a life partner.
Conclusion
Your boyfriend not giving you compliments does not mean he stopped caring about you. Most of the time, it’s a matter of comfort or him not knowing any better. However, that doesn’t make you feel better about being ignored.
Compliments are just one way to show that you care about your partner. If he’s willing to do the other things I mentioned in this article, occasional compliments will start to become less important.
The key is to take a deep breath and not let your emotions control you. Allow him to show you in different ways that he cares about you. But most importantly, don’t sacrifice your self esteem on the altar of approval.
Relationships are about give and take. If he doesn’t give you the emotional connection you need, he isn’t the one.
FAQ
Why does my boyfriend never compliment me?
There can be many reasons why he doesn’t compliment you. The most common reason is that he is just not good at expressing himself verbally.
Does he still love me if he never compliments me?
Yes. There are plenty of other ways to show love and appreciation. Verbal affirmations are just one way.
Should I talk to my boyfriend about him not complimenting me?
Of course. In fact, you should tell him how you feel when he doesn’t compliment you.
How important are compliments in a relationship?
Very important. They help you feel better about yourself and can help your boyfriend feel better about you.
What if he still doesn’t compliment me?
Only you can decide if his actions align with what you’re looking for in a boyfriend.
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