Most people assume that when a guy has a girlfriend and talks to you, it’s clear cut. He’s flirting with you. He likes you. He wants to get with you.
But that’s not always the case.
Sometimes he really does pay you attention.
Sometimes it really does feel like something more than just flirting is there.
When you find yourself attracted to a guy who’s taken and he makes you feel special, it’s easy to let your guard down.
If you need advice for what to do if a guy you like has a girlfriend, don’t worry. I’ve been there, and this isn’t about him.
It’s about what you’re willing to do when faced with a situation that can suck you into something draining, messy… and downright unfair to you and someone else.
Here’s how to handle the situation without losing yourself.
7 Things to Do If He Has a Girlfriend
1. Acknowledge What’s Real Instead of What You Want to Believe
The easiest part of any scenario like this is focusing on how he makes you feel.
You get the attention. You have the conversations. You feel a connection.
But here’s the thing, that doesn’t change one glaring detail.
He has a girlfriend.
Once you dismiss that truth, you open yourself up to wanting to believe every nice thing he does means something more. You create this false narrative in your head that it’s complicated.
“Maybe they’re not even that serious.”
“They don’t have an exclusive ‘relationship’ label.”
“This could work if she breaks up with him.”
That’s where clarity comes in.
Emotional clarity, that is.
You have to see the situation for what it is, not what it could potentially feel like if you let your emotions get involved. Yes, he may be giving you all this attention, but you’re playing in his relationship arena. And relationship arenas almost never end cleanly.
Read also: 5 Things to Do When He Says He Needs Space
2. Don’t Fall Into the Unnecessary Comparison Game
Have you ever noticed that as soon as you find out a guy has a girlfriend, you instantly want to know everything about her?
How do her texts compare to his? Is he physically attracted to her? Is she prettier, smarter, or cooler than you?
I’m not saying these are the thoughts you’ve had. But we’ve all played this game in our head.
It’s a trap.
And you don’t have to fall for it.
Understanding your worth when it comes to relationships means recognizing that there is no competition at all.
You’re not here to compete with his girlfriend for his attention.
You’re here to be chosen by someone who chooses you clearly, openly, and freely, not behind their partner’s back, not half heartedly, and not when you’re silently wishing you were the one he was texting.
Read also: 10 Signs He Will Never Cheat on You (No Matter What)
3. Notice His Actions Towards Others, Not Just You
I’ve talked about this before, but how a man treats others is how he will most likely treat you.
If he can emotionally flirt with you while in a relationship, what does that say about his boundaries?
Sure, it may feel really good hearing him say all these things to you. But let’s take a step back.
If he can do this to another woman while he’s committed to someone, what’s to stop him from doing this to you when he finds the right girl?
Emotional intelligence when you’re dating means looking past how good he makes you feel. Instead, focus on what his behavior says about his character.
Attraction is temporary, but patterns are not.
Read also: 8 Things to Do If He Likes Someone Else
4. Pull Back Before You Get Too Comfortable
The harder you allow this to grow, the more attached you’ll become to him.
At first, you’re just texting a guy friend. Maybe you two hang out here and there. Then you start sharing more personal things with each other that you don’t share with your other friends.
Pretty soon, you feel comfortable with him.
That’s why you have to nip this in the bud.
Put distance between you two. If you’re constantly hanging out and talking all day, stop.
This is emotional self protection at its finest.
Trust me, you aren’t overreacting by pulling away. You’re protecting yourself from getting too involved with someone who will eventually cause you pain.
5. Don’t Fall Into the Trap of “What If”
“It’s only fair to tell her how I feel.”
“She isn’t that serious, so I don’t want to hurt her.”
“He said he wants to wait until his relationship is over.”
If you’ve ever told me you like a guy with a girlfriend before, I have responded with these exact sentences to you.
Welcome to the world of “what if.”
“What if he breaks up with her and likes me back?”
“What if she realizes they’re not compatible?”
“What if we take things slow?”
Lost in thoughts like these, you begin to emotionally invest in something that’s not even real yet.
One of the best ways to guard your heart? Reality checks.
Reality check: he is with someone and isn’t looking to be with anyone else.
Repeat that to yourself daily until you learn to stop questioning “what if” and start asking “is this.”
6. Respect Yourself Enough to Walk Away
It’s easy to say, “Well, at least he’s waiting for me.”
But are you really waiting for him?
When you invest your time and energy into someone who’s not fully invested in you, you disrespect yourself.
You accept less than you deserve when it comes to clarity, stability, and honesty.
Respecting yourself means walking away from guys like this.
Even if he promises you the world, if he has someone else, you deserve to walk away and find someone who will wait for YOU.
7. Wait for a Guy Who Will Wait for You TOO
Here’s the deal.
You’re not waiting for him because he’s not available to choose you.
He’s with his girlfriend.
Simple as that.
And you know what else is available?
Single guys who will choose YOU when the time is right.
The best thing you can do when you’re noticing feelings for someone who has a girlfriend? Shift your attention to people who will give you their attention too.
Stop wasting your time waiting for a guy who will most likely never leave his girlfriend for you.
There are single guys out there who will be happy you waited.
Conclusion
Situations like these are tricky because they aren’t black and white.
You feel a connection. You feel special. But at the end of the day, he is with someone, and that doesn’t change.
The more time you continue to invest in someone who’s unavailable, the more it’ll affect you.
Affect your ego, your emotions, and how you view yourself in a relationship.
So next time you find yourself questioning if a guy likes you when he has a partner, stop and ask yourself this:
“IS THIS RIGHT FOR ME?”
FAQ
What if he told me he likes me but has a girlfriend?
If he wanted to be with you, he would make that his reality first.
Should I cut him off since he has a girlfriend?
If this is affecting you emotionally, yes. Create distance or cut him off completely. It’s always the healthiest option.
Is it bad that I like a guy with a girlfriend?
No, it’s not bad that you like him. But acting on those feelings is where things become complicated.
What if he wants to leave his girlfriend for me?
Actions speak louder than words. Let him SHOW you he wants to leave her. Don’t get excited just because he TOLD you.
How do I get over liking my friend’s boyfriend?
Distance. Focus on yourself. Remind yourself of your standards and what you deserve. You’ll get over it.
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