This is not something guys will tell you to your face. In fact, most men will just keep it as simple as possible.
When asked what they look for in women, most guys will say things like “good looks,” “vibes,” or “someone chill.” Basic stuff.
But as a relationship coach that gets asked for advice day in and day out, I have noticed something about the men who reach out to me.
Guys say one thing, but do another.
They say they want confident women, but swipe right on the girl who instantly texts them 30 minutes after they first speak.
They say they want women who listen, but run away from women who share their opinions.
They say they prefer loyal women, but dive head first into a relationship with a girl who barely even knows they exist.
Truth is, guys will say one thing, but look for another.
Of course, they are going to tell you what they THINK you want to hear when you ask them about relationships.
Hell, I did the same when I was younger.
The truth is that men do not openly admit the real reasons they go for certain women.
But that does not mean I cannot tell you these secrets. Guys confide in me all the time, but they do not necessarily let other women know these truths.
Because while men are totally willing to accept help from us when they need it, they are usually not going to brag about it.
8 Things Guys Like in Girls But Won’t Admit
1. She Has a Life Outside of Him
Men are childish by nature.
The less you rely on them to have a good time, feel attractive, and be happy, the more attracted they will be.
If you have your own life, routines, and friends, girls will always hold more value in his eyes.
It gives you space to breathe and create a foundation that is YOU. When you are not trying to force him to fill your every need with sex and constant attention, he will fall for you even harder.
Read also: 15 Things That Make a Guy Lose Interest
2. She Doesn’t Always Agree With Him
Guys like it when you have your own opinion and are not afraid to speak it.
There are plenty of girls out there that will agree with a man on everything he says. But you will notice that most guys do not end up with those girls.
Part of it has to do with intellectual attraction. If you do not challenge him every so often, he will get bored.
3. She Knows How to Be Playful
Men love playful women.
There is nothing worse than being around someone who you have to walk on eggshells with all the time.
When a woman knows how to joke around, tease him, and have fun without getting super serious all the time, you will ignite a type of chemistry that most women never understand.
4. She Gives Him Space Without Making It A Problem
This ties back into number one.
Men like their space more than you think.
Again, they are not manly if they need you to be happy 24/7. But if you understand that and do not make it an issue every time he wants to hang with his friends or play video games alone, you will gain his respect.
When a woman knows how to give a man space to be a man WITHOUT playing mind games, you have become a rare catch.
5. She Takes Care of Herself
Physical attraction is important, but what is even more attractive to men is when you take care of yourself.
Yes, men want to feel like the sexiest man alive when they are with you. But they also appreciate women who value themselves enough to exercise, eat right, and wear outfits that enhance their body instead of hiding it.
6. She Makes Him Feel Appreciated
You do not have to go overboard with this, but men absolutely love when you make them feel appreciated.
It could be as simple as telling him you like how he moisturizes your back after a shower or that you love how he bought you groceries when you were sick.
Not only will he feel more loved when you do this, but he will go out of his way to do more for you.
7. She’s Emotionally Stable
Yes, men love a good “whiny woman” every now and then.
But do you know what they love MORE than a woman that can give them a good tantrum? A woman that keeps her emotions glued together.
You do not have to pretend you never get upset with your partner. But if you can communicate in a calm, cool, and collected manner during arguments, you will stand out.
Men are addicted to women who can handle their emotions better than 90% of women out there.
8. She’s Genuine, Not Trying Too Hard
If you are reading this thinking “what does she expect me to be?”
Stop right there.
Men love women who do not try too hard to be something they are not.
If you genuinely embrace who you are on the inside AND your appearance, you are naturally going to come across as more authentic than 75% of women out there.
Want more dating advice from Neil? Check out Neil’s podcasts, YouTube Channel, and INSTAGRAM!
Conclusion
If you pay attention to what men actually respond to instead of what they say, you will start to see a pattern.
It is not about being perfect. It is about showing up as someone who has self respect, balance, and authenticity.
The more you focus on building your own life and being grounded in who you are, the more naturally attractive you become without forcing anything.
FAQ
Do guys lie about what they like in girls?
YES. In fact, most guys will not go super in depth about their “standards” because 1. they keep them pretty simple, 2. if they do open up about them, women probably would not agree with their answers, so they will not truly reveal what they look for.
Are these traits more valuable than her appearance?
Yes and no. You always want to keep your appearance somewhat attractive, but beauty is ONLY skin deep. Men are visual creatures, but these qualities truly matter more when it comes to building a long term connection with a man.
Can these qualities be learned over time?
Of course! Confidence, emotional intelligence, and authenticity are always things you can improve on when you put your mind to it.
Why do men want their girlfriend to be independent?
Because it creates a healthier relationship.
If you are not reliant on your partner to have a good time, feel pretty, and be happy, you allow yourself MORE room to grow as a couple. It takes pressure off the relationship, which is what men truly value.
Is it bad to try to be what a man wants?
Not at all. As long as you are trying to better yourself for the right reasons, growing and changing aspects of your personality is a beautiful thing.
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