When we say someone is narcissistic, we tend to throw that term around way too often these days. And to be honest, not every person you meet in life has narcissistic personality disorder. That’s not healthy.
However, some people do possess sociopathic and narcissistic tendencies that are destructive to you, emotionally draining, and completely one sided.
The problem is, we usually realize these red flags after months or years of getting to know someone. And by that point, it’s too late.
You’re already in too deep.
If you’re dating a woman right now and wondering if certain behaviors are harmless personality quirks or giant red flags, this article will show you exactly what narcissistic behaviors are worth looking out for before you fall in love and ignore your instincts.
15 Narcissistic Behaviors in Women to Watch Out for
1. She Always Needs to Be the Center of Attention
Self confidence is sexy. Always needing to be the center of attention is not.
One of the most recognizable narcissistic behaviors is having an excessive need to feel acknowledged no matter where she goes.
She somehow always steers the conversation back to herself, whether it’s her experiences, her problems, or her accomplishments.
And if you’re celebrating something in your life, good luck enjoying your own moment because she’ll find a way to bring the focus back onto her.
Little by little, you stop feeling like your needs, successes, and feelings matter.
A healthy relationship should make both partners feel seen and appreciated.
Read also: 50 Powerful Narcissistic Quotes About Relationships
2. She Rarely Takes Responsibility for Her Mistakes
We all make mistakes. What makes people mature is admitting they’re wrong, sincerely apologizing, and learning from their mistakes.
A narcissistic woman will rarely, if ever, say she’s wrong. Something will always happen, someone else will get blamed, or she’ll figure out how to make you believe you did something wrong first.
If you find yourself always apologizing after an argument, even when you know you didn’t do anything wrong, that’s a red flag.
Read also: 15 Characteristics of a Narcissistic Individual
3. She Doesn’t Have Empathy
One of the foundations of any healthy relationship is empathy.
Notice how she treats you when you’re feeling sad or going through a tough time. Does she listen to you, comfort you, and try to understand how you’re feeling? Or does she turn the conversation back to herself, belittle your feelings, or make you feel guilty for asking for support?
Empathy and emotional intelligence play a huge role in creating healthy communication. If she struggles to understand or validate your emotions, it will be nearly impossible to create emotional safety between the two of you.
4. She Seeks External Validation From Other Men
Women seeking attention from other men isn’t the problem. It becomes narcissistic when she needs validation from multiple men and can’t handle periods of not being asked for attention.
She may flirt excessively, post photos for male validation, or even encourage other men to fight over her just to feel powerful.
You shouldn’t have to compete with strangers every time you want to show your girlfriend you care.
Read also: How to Rebuild Your Life After a Narcissistic Relationship
5. She Thinks She’s Better Than Other People
Notice how she talks about other people.
Does she shame others for their job, look down on people for being overweight, or seem to look down on anyone who didn’t go to college? Does she speak about herself like she’s entitled to special treatment that nobody else is good enough to receive?
You can be confident in who you are without putting other people down. If she believes she’s better than others, she’ll have a hard time respecting those that she deems “below” her.
6. She Uses Passive Aggression and Manipulation
Rather than speaking openly, she withholds her love, gives you the silent treatment, plays the victim, or subtly intimidates you into getting her way.
For example, if you try to address a problem, she’ll accuse you of being insecure instead of focusing on the issue. If you disagree with her, she might withhold affection until you apologize.
Manipulative people know how to slowly break down your confidence until you question yourself.
7. She Feels Entitled to Special Treatment
Wait her turn in line like everyone else? Ugh. Have to spend two days on a project that could’ve been done in one? Fine. Can’t speak during meetings without being interrupted? She wasn’t born to follow stupid rules.
Some people expect the world to cater to their every need and become easily irritated when it doesn’t.
Yes, everyone is special, but that doesn’t mean you will automatically receive special treatment.
Read also: 7 Narcissistic Mother Behaviors and the Hidden Signs to Notice
8. She Can’t Handle You Having Success
Your partner should be your biggest supporter. But what happens when someone seems threatened by your success?
Instead of being happy for you, she might belittle your accomplishments, find flaws in what you did, or quickly change the subject to something she did.
Two people growing together doesn’t sound intimidating. It sounds amazing.
9. She Struggles to Respect Your Boundaries
Boundary issues can show up as her wanting to constantly text, checking up on your schedule, allowing little privacy, or getting upset when you don’t share your location.
If she violates your boundaries while expecting you to rigidly respect hers, it won’t matter how hard you try. She won’t see your boundaries as important.
10. She Often Plays the Victim
Life sucks sometimes, and yes, bad things happen to good people.
But do you know what doesn’t happen to good people? Every single problem that pops into their life.
If she thinks the entire world is conspiring against her or gets angry when plans don’t go her way, she probably accuses everyone else of doing the same thing to you.
One of my therapists used to say that offenders are often the biggest victims. Well, narcissists love to play the victim too.
11. She May Be Extra Kind at the Beginning
Do you remember how she acted when you first started dating?
Many narcissistic people are actually really charismatic. She may have come across as warm, extremely confident, funny, and genuinely interested in getting to know you.
But that was her using her charm to control you.
Pay attention to whether the nice persona fades after she feels emotionally attached to you or once she gets what she wants.
Real kindness doesn’t happen when you can benefit from someone. It’s constant.
12. She Gets Defensive When You Ask for Change
Bringing up constructive feedback will often result in her yelling, accusing you of attacking her character, or getting her defensive friends to attack you.
She might even turn the tables by guilt tripping you or pointing out your flaws to deflect from the topic at hand.
The truth is, no relationship can grow if one person is unwilling to accept constructive criticism.
13. She Tells You What to Do Rather Than Ask
Controlling partners often think they know what’s best for your life. She may try to control who you hang out with, make you feel bad about your hobbies, tell you what job to take, or guilt trip you anytime you make a decision without them.
Making suggestions is one thing. Making your partner feel inadequate for living their life is quite another.
14. She Constantly Brags and Makes Comparisons
Did you know there’s a type of narcissism specifically about exalting yourself above others?
You’ll know she falls into this category if every conversation about work or school ends with her praising her achievements and pushing yours aside. If she constantly talks about how much money she makes or what she owns, she may have narcissistic traits.
Your achievements should be something you celebrate together. Competing against each other will make you feel like enemies.
15. She Makes You Question Your Reality
This is probably the most important sign to look out for.
How do you feel when you spend time with her? Drained? Like your memory fails you? Like you were too sensitive about something that didn’t matter?
You may have been guilty of this yourself in arguments, but she does this on purpose to wear you down.
This type of mental and emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. If you catch yourself constantly questioning your memory or feelings after being around her, please trust your instincts.
Conclusion
No one is perfect. Every girl you date will occasionally be insecure, selfish, or emotionally immature when handling stress. One behavior on this list doesn’t define whether she’ll make a good girlfriend or not.
The pattern matters. If you catch multiple signs of narcissism during the early stages of dating, don’t blow them off because your attraction is strong.
A healthy relationship with unconditional love is built on respect, empathy, accountability, and emotional stability.
The more you can recognize red flags that contradict those qualities, the better your chances of finding a relationship that will bring you peace, not continuous anxiety.
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