You’ve probably heard that long distance relationships are harder to maintain than typical relationships. But did you know that more couples are in long distance relationships now than ever before?
I’m a relationship coach who has helped hundreds of couples overcome relationship problems. I’ve talked to many couples who came to me certain that distance would tear them apart. They quickly learned that distance doesn’t cause you to lose feelings for someone. I’ve also talked to plenty of couples who loved each other but slowly grew apart because they didn’t know how to handle being away from each other.
Long distance relationships are difficult for a reason. You can’t spend every day with your partner. You can’t just hug them whenever you feel like it. You have to be extra intentional about maintaining your relationship.
However, when you learn how to deal with being away from your partner, long distance relationships can actually make your relationship better. Distance forces you to focus on keeping your emotional connection strong.
If you and your partner are in a long distance relationship, here’s the good news. Long distance relationships can work. They take more effort than typical relationships. However, if you know what you’re doing, you can make it work.
7 Long Distance Relationship Advice
1. Communicate Regularly, but Don’t Turn Communication Into a Chore
This tip might seem like common sense, but I can’t tell you how many couples tell me they talk to their partner every second of the day. When you’re with someone in person, you don’t need to talk all the time to know that they love you. Quality over quantity always wins when it comes to communication.
Set a schedule that allows you to talk regularly without becoming obsessed. You may decide to text each other every morning and night but spend time apart during the day.
It’s also important to have healthy conversations. Make sure you’re talking about more than just the boring day to day tasks. Have conversations about your goals, dreams, concerns, and experiences.
This deepens your emotional connection with each other and allows you to know each other on a higher level.
Read also: 12 Long Distance Relationship Psychology Tips
2. Build Trust Before You’re Tested
Trust is something that all relationships need, but it’s crucial when you enter into a long distance relationship. If your relationship is going to work, you have to be able to trust that your partner will do what they say they will.
I’ve seen many relationships fall apart because one (or both) partners always feel the need to check up on their significant other.
Doing things like guilt tripping your partner every time they don’t do something you asked them to will kill your relationship. If your insecurities are getting the best of you, take a step back and try to work on those feelings. Continuously pushing your partner away will only lead to them leaving you.
The best way to build trust is to show your partner that they have nothing to worry about. Be honest with them and follow through with your words. Make sure your partner knows that they can be open and honest with you.
Read also: 15 Good Morning Messages for Your Long-Distance Love
3. Always Have a Plan to See Each Other Again
It sucks when you have to leave your partner after spending time with them. Not knowing when you’ll see each other again can make long distance relationships difficult.
Help yourself out by scheduling your next visit before you leave. If you know you’ll see each other in a month, you have something to look forward to!
4. Continue Living Your Life
Just because you and your partner are in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean you should stop doing the things you love. Make sure you keep up with the things that make you happy.
If you stop living your life just because you’re in a relationship, you’ll find yourself with nothing to talk to your partner about.
Make sure you’re continuing to better yourself, which will make you a better partner as a result.
5. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language
Being in a long distance relationship can make it difficult to show your partner that you care about them. Knowing your partner’s love language can help.
For example, if your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, you should make sure you’re frequently speaking affirming words to them. Small gestures can mean everything to your partner when you’re in a long distance relationship.
6. Don’t Let Small Arguments Turn Into Big Ones
Arguing with your partner is normal, but when you’re in a long distance relationship, you shouldn’t let those arguments drag on.
If you’re fighting with your partner, drop everything and address the issue. Letting little arguments sit will only make them worse.
Texting your partner can be difficult because you don’t get to hear their tone of voice. Always make sure the two of you can come to a resolution before ending a conflict discussion.
7. Make Sure the Distance Is Temporary
Long distance relationships are much easier when you both know that you’re working toward being around each other again.
You both don’t need to have your whole life completely planned out. But discussing the future helps you stay motivated.
Knowing that you two are going to be able to live together one day means you can get through the long days spent apart.
Summary
Long distance relationships take a lot of work. But as long as you both put in that work, you can make it work.
Remember to consistently stay connected, build trust, better yourself, keep the romance alive, communicate, and make sure you both want the relationship to be longer distance.
If you and your partner can do those things, you’ll be able to grow your relationship stronger than it would’ve been had you lived near each other.
FAQ
Can a long distance relationship work?
Yes. As long as both partners are willing to put in the work and stay committed to the relationship.
How much should a couple talk in a long distance relationship?
As much as you both want to! As long as you’re both happy with how often you’re talking, that’s all that matters.
What is the number 1 problem in long distance relationships?
A lack of trust. Distance can cause trust issues to creep in if you let them.
How can I keep the spark alive in a long distance relationship?
Regular FaceTime calls, planning virtual dates, and sending your partner gifts are all great ways to keep the spark alive.
How do you know if a long distance relationship is going to work?
If you and your partner are equally committed to one another, make an effort to talk regularly, have similar end goals, and are actively working to keep the relationship alive, your relationship will more than likely work.
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