Teaching our children to be respectful isn’t about raising a kid who listens to you out of fear. It’s about teaching them to value others through their words and actions, even when you’re not in the room.
So, if you’re wondering how to teach your kids to be respectful, keep reading. By teaching kids about respect at a young age, you are asking one of the most important parenting questions.
Children who learn about respect tend to have healthier relationships, do better in school and their future jobs, and have higher emotional intelligence.
Children aren’t born respectful or disrespectful. It’s a character trait that needs to be taught, demonstrated, and expected daily. In this blog post, you will learn how to teach your child real respect that will last into adulthood.
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1. Become the Example Your Child Will Follow Every Day
Kids learn more from what they see you do every day than what you tell them to do.
You can tell your child to say please and thank you a million times, but if they hear you and other adults around them yelling, not listening to each other, or speaking harshly about others, that is what they will learn from too.
Watch how you talk to your spouse, your neighbors, teachers, store clerks, and others. When you patiently speak with kindness and self control, that is respect.
Parenting always starts with you.
Also, your child learns how you react when life doesn’t go your way. If you apologize to your child when you mess up and stay respectful when you are upset with them, that is teaching more than any lecture could.
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2. Explain What Being Respectful Means
Many kids hear the word respect but don’t know what it truly means. To them, it may mean just doing as they are told.
Help your child understand that being respectful is more than just listening and obeying. Respect means using their inside voice, not interrupting, saying please and thank you, caring about others’ feelings, giving others space, and embracing differences.
Children learn better when you relate to things they understand. Instead of telling your child to be respectful, break down what respectful behavior is.
The more specifics you can provide your child, the easier it will be for them to understand your expectations.
Read also: 45 Best Questions to Ask Kids After School to Get Them Talking
3. Teach Kids About Respect in Everyday Situations
Once you’ve explained what respect means, continue showing your child through everyday situations.
As your child is coming home from school, ask them questions about their day that will encourage empathy. “Did anyone help someone today?” “How do you think your friend felt when that happened?”
Kids are more self centered at young ages. When you ask questions that make them think about how others feel, you are building emotional intelligence.
The more you talk about being kind to others, having fairness, telling the truth, and being compassionate, the more your child will view the world through respectful lenses.
4. Set Expectations and Follow Through With Consistent Boundaries
Children feel more secure when they know what is expected of them. Respect grows in a home when there are consistent boundaries.
Let your child know what the family rules are about speaking kindly, listening to others, respecting people’s things, doing their responsibilities, and treating their siblings.
You can adjust rules for your child’s age, but once you set something that needs to be done, be consistent.
Children become very confused when they are told one thing and you change the rules based on your mood. When you are consistent, your child learns accountability. When you are everywhere with boundaries and expectations, they will only learn frustration.
5. Address Disrespect Instead of Yelling
Kids will not always be respectful at all times. Pushing boundaries is a natural part of childhood.
The key thing is how you handle the situation when they are not respectful.
Instead of yelling and shouting back, stay calm and address the behavior.
Tell your child why what they did was disrespectful and what they could’ve done differently. This allows you to teach them instead of straight up punishing them.
If your child was disrespectful by not doing their homework on time and spent their free time watching TV instead, let that be a natural consequence. Perhaps they have to give up some of their screen time to finish their homework. They will learn more from that consequence rather than you ripping their phone away and yelling.
6. Empathy and Respect Go Hand in Hand
How can your child respect others if they never learn to put themselves in someone else’s shoes?
Next time your child hurts someone’s feelings, have them think about how they would feel if someone spoke to them the same way.
Asking your kids questions that allow them to think about other people’s feelings helps them learn emotional awareness. Instead of just trying not to get in trouble, they will learn because they genuinely don’t want to hurt others’ feelings.
You can also do volunteer work as a family, help others in your neighborhood, or take care of family members. The more your child helps others, the more thoughtful and empathetic they will become, which will lead to respectful behavior.
7. Praising Respectful Behavior Is Important Too
Parents notice when their child is misbehaving, yelling, or being disrespectful. But what about when they actually do the right thing?
If your child shares with their sibling, says please and thank you without you asking, waits for you patiently, or helps someone else, point it out.
Tell your child that you noticed how respectful they were being in that situation. You can be specific with the praise as well.
Instead of saying good job, you can tell your child, “I noticed how patiently you waited for your sister to finish speaking. That was respectful of you.”
Praising specific behavior will let your child know what you are looking for and will encourage that behavior to happen more.
8. Help Your Child Respect Others Regardless of Differences
Our children will spend their lives around many types of people. Teaching your child to respect others includes teaching them to respect others who may think, believe, or live differently than they do.
Have open conversations with your child about other cultures, traditions, people with different abilities, and people who may have different opinions than they do.
The more your child learns about people who may be different, the more they will become curious instead of judging that person. If your child understands everyone is different and deserves to be respected, they will have fewer issues socially and will build healthier relationships.
Teaching your child about diversity and inclusion at a young age will help prepare them for the world outside your home.
9. Responsibility and Accountability Teach Respect
Teaching your child to be respectful also includes helping them become responsible for their own actions.
When children learn how to be responsible and hold themselves accountable for their actions, they will treat others with more respect. Why? Because they know that their actions affect others.
Give your child chores that are age appropriate. Whether that means making their bed every morning, feeding the dog, or helping wash dishes. Children learn responsibility by having small responsibilities at home.
When your child makes a mistake, tell them to just say, “I made a mistake.”
This can help your child learn to hold themselves accountable for their actions.
10. It Takes Time, So Don’t Get Discouraged
We as parents want immediate results after talking to our children about something important. Respect is not something that you can teach your child once and have them completely understand.
Just like any important value or lesson, it takes time. They will have days where you think they get what you’re teaching them and other days you will question if they even know you spoke to them.
Continue to show respect to others and your child every day. Continue to remind them about your expectations, and don’t get discouraged if they slip up.
Character development takes years of practicing what you preach.
Conclusion
Kids aren’t born learning how to be respectful. They learn how to be respectful from their parents.
When you teach your children about respect, you are building their character for their friendships, future marriage, career, and more.
You teach your children to be respectful by expecting it from them and showing it every day as a parent. Kids will never say please and thank you if they don’t hear you doing it.
Every word you speak to your child builds their understanding of how to treat others.
I hope you enjoyed reading how you can teach your kids to have respect. Head over to our homepage for more parenting tips and articles.
FAQ
1. At what age should I start teaching my child respect?
You can begin teaching respect as early as toddlerhood through simple words, routines, and by modeling respectful behavior every day.
2. What should I do if my child is consistently disrespectful?
Stay calm, address the behavior, explain why it was disrespectful, and follow through with consistent consequences rather than reacting with anger.
3. Why is modeling respectful behavior important?
Children learn by watching the adults around them. Your actions often teach more than your words.
4. How can I encourage respectful behavior?
Notice and praise respectful actions, set clear expectations, and consistently reinforce positive behavior.
5. Can empathy help children become more respectful?
Yes. Teaching children to understand other people’s feelings helps them develop empathy, which naturally leads to more respectful behavior.
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