I’ve lost plenty of connections with people simply because the conversation ran dry. We didn’t hate each other or stop finding each other attractive. We literally just didn’t know what to say.
If you struggle with keeping conversations interesting during the talking stage, don’t worry.
Conversation isn’t about being “perfect”. It’s about being curious, natural, and interesting enough that the other person wants to keep talking to you.
Not sure where to start? Rather than text “Hey.” into the abyss and hope for the best, check out these 30 talking stage conversation starters you can use to start building a real connection with someone.
30 Talking Stage Conversation Starters
1. “What’s something that instantly makes your day better?”
Avoid dive bombing someone with heavy questions. This question brings positive vibes and emotional warmth without overdoing it. It also helps you figure out what makes them feel good.
2. “What kind of person do you click with naturally?”
You learn a lot about their personality type and their ideal social style with a simple question like this.
It also tells you a lot about emotional compatibility.
3. “What’s your ideal lazy day?”
Great question to learn about their lifestyle, what comforts they enjoy, and their personality.
Read also: 105 Weird Questions to Ask Your Friends
4. “What are you nerdy about that no one knows?”
Asking someone about the things they’re passionate about is a great way to dive deeper without pushing too hard.
5. “Do you think people can change?”
This is a little deeper but it opens up room for opinions and you can even get personal with this question if they seem receptive.
6. “What’s something that makes you laugh every time?”
Light hearted, easy, and helps you build emotional comfort with someone quickly.
7. “What are you trying to improve about yourself right now?”
Another question that ties into self growth mindset. It shows they’re interested in being the best version of themselves.
Read also: Why Personal Growth Matters Now More Than Ever
8. “What’s your favorite conversation topic?”
Helps you learn what they love talking about so you know what topics to hit them with.
9. “What’s your favorite type of love language?”
This opens up great conversation about love languages in relationships.
You’ll learn what they prefer and can steer clear if yours doesn’t match.
10. “What’s something you’ve been wanting to ask me?”
Gives them the opportunity to ask you something they’ve been wondering about.
Flips the table and puts the questions on you. Don’t be afraid to answer directly or turn questions back when appropriate.
11. “What’s your biggest goal right now?”
Goals are good to talk about. Not only do you get to learn what they care about, but you can learn if your end games align or not.
12. “What’s your favorite thing to do on a weekend?”
Learn what they like to do to spend their downtime.
13. “What adventure have you always wanted to go on?”
Adventure questions are a fun way to spark imagination and shared interests.
14. “Are you more excited by a peaceful life or an exciting life?”
You begin to understand how they handle life emotionally with a simple question like this.
Peaceful or excited?
15. “What’s your favorite type of food?”
Simple questions that help you find common ground early on are great.
Knowing what foods they like opens up the opportunity for you to suggest a place to eat, cook for them, etc.
16. “If you could live anywhere in the world, where?”
I don’t care who you are. If someone can tell me where they’d live in the world with no restrictions, I can learn something about them.
Same rules apply here.
17. “What’s your favorite type of movie?”
Movies are great because most people watch them. Learn what they gravitate towards for more conversation ideas.
Action? Comedy? Romance?
18. “Would you rather live rich or happy?”
Learn what they value more in life.
Money or emotional fulfillment?
19. “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?”
Superpower questions are fun and open you both up to sharing your inner child.
20. “What’s your favorite hobby?”
Everyone has something they like to do with their free time. Learn what theirs is.
21. “What’s something you think everyone should know about you?”
This is a great question to open up vulnerability and honesty.
It shows you care enough to want to know the real them.
22. “What’s your favorite spot in the city?”
A simple question to help you both plan a future date or just learn more about their city.
23. “What’s your favorite way to spend quality time with yourself?”
Learning how someone spends quality time with themselves can help you better understand their alone time habits.
24. “What would you do with a million dollars?”
This is another fun question to open up imagination.
You can also learn a lot about their spending habits and value for money with a simple question like this.
25. “If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
Food is great! Use it to your advantage.
You learn what they like and it opens opportunity for future dates or to cook for them.
26. “What food do you love that most people wouldn’t understand?”
Everyone has that one weird food they love. Ask them about theirs.
27. “What’s your favorite way to show love and affection?”
This question opens up conversation about how they like to give and receive affection.
Every person has a different love language, and this helps you learn theirs.
28. “How do you like to relax after a stressful day?”
Some people like to vent, some people like to go straight to “happy” mode. Learn what helps them unwind.
29. “What makes you feel loved and appreciated?”
This ties into love languages, but also helps you learn how to make them feel comfortable and happy when you’re together.
30. “What’s your favorite memory from childhood?”
This warms someone up! Not only do you learn more about them, but you can also ask them about their favorite memory if they tell you one of theirs.
Conclusion
Relationships don’t require grand gestures to keep conversation going. Simple questions can be your best friend.
Keep showing up, stay curious, and let conversations flow naturally.
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FAQs
What questions should I ask in the talking stage?
Open ended questions are your best bet. Ask about their interests, lifestyle, music, love languages, and opinions.
How do I keep the talking stage interesting?
Don’t be afraid to mix fun questions with deeper questions.
Learn what they like to talk about and show interest by asking questions about those subjects.
What shouldn’t I do in the talking stage?
Avoid asking boring yes or no questions. Don’t interrogate them with 100 questions at once.
And don’t feel like you have to discuss serious relationship topics within the first week or two.
Comfort is key.
How frequently should I text someone in the talking stage?
As often as you would like and they respond.
As long as you both stay consistent with conversation and don’t let too much time pass without talking, you’re golden.
How do you know if you’re doing well in the talking stage?
If you and them are both asking each other questions and enjoying your conversations, you’re doing just fine.
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