If you ask me, I’d consider myself an expert when it comes to relationships.
That being said, I’ve learned over the years that many people struggle to identify signs of a serious relationship.
Asking myself and my partner friends how we knew our relationship was serious was always met with awkward pauses and shrugged shoulders.
I’ve talked with friends, couples, couples who wanted to break up, and random people who wanted my advice about their love life.
And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this question:
“How do you know if your relationship is serious?”
We start off with grand gestures, dates, enjoying each other’s company, and beginning to feel strong emotions.
But then something changes.
You start to grow closer than you ever have with anyone else.
Dates don’t feel like dates—they feel like more.
You talk more.
You begin to understand that this relationship is becoming serious.
But here’s the thing…
Good relationships don’t just magically become serious overnight.
In fact, it usually takes time.
The buildup of relationship trust.
Emotional investment.
It’s kind of like a bank account. The more you put in, the more you get out.
If you’re wondering if your relationship is serious or not, there are obvious signs that will tell you if you’re just getting together or if you and your partner are building something meaningful.
12 signs of a serious relationship
1. You Both Make Each Other a Priority
In the beginning phases of a relationship, you fit each other into your lives when it works for you.
You go on dates when you’re free.
You talk when you can.
But something changes when your relationship becomes serious.
You make each other a priority.
You start fitting your schedules around each other.
You think about your partner.
You make your significant other part of your daily routine.
This is called relationship commitment.
When two people make each other a priority, you know the relationship is something special.
Read also: 12 Long Distance Relationship Psychology Tips
2. You Start Making Future Plans Together
Future trip destinations.
Dream job aspirations.
Promotions.
Home ownership.
Talking about the future is a big sign that your relationship is becoming serious.
The more you talk about things you BOTH want in the future, the more serious you are about your relationship moving forward.
This isn’t forced.
You naturally start including your partner in your future ideas.
Including your partner in your future goals and dreams is a great sign of relationship stability.
It shows you can see your relationship moving forward instead of only focusing on the present.
Read also: How to Bring Up Issues in a Relationship
3. You Can Be Yourself Around Them
I know what you’re thinking.
“Sure Jimmy. Everyone can just be themselves in relationships.”
Well, not quite.
You can truly be yourself around your partner in a serious relationship.
Think about the previous relationships you’ve had where things never worked out.
You always seemed to hold back certain parts of your personality for fear of them not liking who you are.
But when you’re with the right person, you won’t feel embarrassed to tell your partner your inner thoughts.
Emotional intimacy is built on being able to be yourself around your partner.
If you can truly be yourself around your partner, you’ve got a special connection.
4. You Fight Fair
Hey, everyone fights in relationships.
The difference between healthy couples and non-serious couples is how they fight.
Healthy couples who fight fair know how to communicate when they’re upset with each other.
Knowing how to communicate and discuss problems with your partner builds a strong foundation for relationship success.
Some ways you know you fight fair:
- You both listen to each other.
- You both take responsibility for your mistakes.
- You both try to solve the problem.
Arguments don’t have to be bad if you fight fair.
5. You Help Each Other Grow
Something amazing happens when you find the right person.
You help each other grow.
Your partner cheers you on during your successes and helps you through your failures.
Mutual support in relationships is key in a serious relationship.
You want your partner to be your biggest fan.
That means supporting each other’s goals and dreams.
It doesn’t matter if you’re growing together or helping your partner reach their goals. The point is that you are invested in each other’s success.
Healthy relationships grow together.
6. You Trust Each Other
One of the most important facets of a serious relationship.
You trust your partner and they trust you.
You don’t worry about your partner cheating on you.
You don’t question their decisions.
You have a sense of security with each other.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you feel safe with your partner.
You trust that they have your back and would do anything for you.
Building a relationship filled with relationship trust is important because you know that your partner has your best interests in mind.
Relationships with high levels of trust are strong.
7. You Introduce Them to Your Family and Friends
One of the first things we naturally do when we start dating someone is introduce them to our friends.
Whether it’s a group text, Facebook post, or announcing it to our parents.
But what happens when your relationship gets serious?
You take it to the next level.
You not only introduce your partner to your friends, but your family and close relationships.
Meeting your partner’s parents is a big step in any relationship.
You are allowing your partner to be a part of the most important people in your life.
Not only are you meeting your partner’s family, but they’re meeting yours.
Introducing your significant other to your friends and family shows you believe in the relationship moving forward.
8. You Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
No one is perfect.
But in a serious relationship, your partner will respect your boundaries.
If you need space, your partner will give it to you.
If you don’t want to discuss a certain topic, your partner will respect that.
Maintaining healthy relationship boundaries with your partner is important.
Whether it be space, finances, or even past relationships.
If you can respect each other’s boundaries, your relationship is healthy.
Sexual boundaries are also important.
9. You Enjoy the Simple Things
Going on dates and spending tons of money isn’t the only thing that makes a relationship.
If you’ve ever watched couples who’ve been together for years, they still enjoy each other’s company whether they’re on a date night or just hanging at home.
You enjoy spending time with your partner doing simple things.
And that’s what being in a serious relationship is all about.
Building a life with someone and enjoying every moment you spend with them—whether it’s big or small.
10. You Feel Safe With Them
Can you be 100% yourself around your partner?
Do you feel like you can tell your partner anything?
If you answered yes to these questions, you two probably feel very safe with each other.
Having emotional safety in relationships is key when it comes to building a serious relationship.
You two have to be able to trust each other enough to be vulnerable with one another.
11. You Make Big Decisions Together
One HUGE sign your relationship is serious is if you make big life decisions together.
Career choices.
Where to live.
Financial choices.
If you and your partner discuss these things and include each other, you’re going to fight less.
Everything you decide will affect the relationship somehow.
Why not make the decision together?
Making big decisions together builds stability and security in your relationship.
12. You View Each Other as Actual Partners
You two view each other as partners.
When something good or bad happens, you both celebrate or commiserate together.
You two have a team mentality when it comes to your relationship.
You both know you’re in this together.
Whether you’re facing tough times or celebrating new joys, you face them together.
Conclusion
Serious relationships don’t just happen.
Relationships take work.
You have to put time and effort into your relationship if you want to see it succeed.
As long as you guys are constantly working on your relationship and making it stronger each day, you’re building a serious relationship.
Click here to download your free Relationship Roadmap cheatsheet. It’ll give you 7 categories you need to focus on to keep your relationship healthy and strong.
[I created a cheatsheet that goes into detail about the 7 categories you should focus on to keep your relationship strong]
FAQ
What Are the Signs of a Serious Relationship?
Signs of a serious relationship include making each other a priority, trusting each other, making future plans, and enjoying spending time with each other.
How Long Does It Take for a Relationship to Become Serious?
Relationships take time. Some relationships may become serious in a matter of months, while other relationships may take years.
Every relationship is different, and depending on how quickly you build trust and connect with your partner will determine how long it takes.
Relationships are healthy relationships when you and your partner both agree that you want it to be serious.
Can a Casual Relationship Become Serious?
Yes. Many relationships become serious after starting off as casual relationships.
It all depends on you and your partner’s feelings toward each other. If you find you’re constantly thinking about your partner and you enjoy spending time with them, you’re likely falling into a serious relationship.
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