A few weeks ago, I sat down for coffee with a friend. As he sipped his drink, he made it very clear that he was convinced a relationship would fix everything.
He complained about being lonely. How his life felt incomplete. How no matter what he did, nothing else would matter until he found the “right girl.”
As he went on about his frustrations, I started to notice something I had witnessed a thousand times before.
My friend wanted to find love, but what he actually needed was a distraction.
He didn’t want love. He wanted a fix.
See, far too often we place way too much value on being in a relationship. Being single feels like a waiting room. But a relationship? That’s where we plan on living our lives.
We only have to look around to see why. Instagram feeds are filled with cute couples, anniversary posts, trips, and couples celebrating each other.
It’s easy to buy into the belief that you need to be in a relationship to be happy.
But life has shown me that…
A relationship is not the highest goal you should strive for.
Sure, having a partner can be amazing. But you can experience far greater things than scrolling through profiles or rushing into a relationship out of loneliness.
Here are ten things better than being in a relationship.
1. Having Peace of Mind
There is no better feeling than waking up in the morning with peace of mind.
Having peace of mind allows you to go about your day stress free. Without anxiety. Without the drama. And without feeling emotionally drained by the time you get to bed.
Too many relationships rob us of this. They bring nothing but confusion, arguments, mistrust, and tension.
If you’re constantly trying to read your partner’s mind, wondering if they care about you, or walking on eggshells every time you speak, being single is better.
Some people are better off alone.
A relationship will kill your peace of mind if you can’t be yourself. If you don’t feel secure or if you allow your partner to make you question your worth.
Trust me when I say that peace of mind is better than any relationship out there.
When you find the right one, a relationship will enhance your peace. But until then, guard your mind.
Read also: How Owning Your Mistakes Fuels Personal Growth
2. Having Strong Self Respect
Relationship after relationship, people tend to let their standards slip.
They allow partners to speak to them poorly, accept treatment they wouldn’t have even thought was possible, and violate their own boundaries because they think no one will love them otherwise.
Little by little, they forget who they are.
They lose their self respect.
And the problem with losing self respect is that it bleeds into every area of your life.
You start tolerating things you know you shouldn’t. You allow people to push your buttons without any consequences. You let others walk all over you.
Your self respect is better than any relationship.
Staying single is better than being with anyone who doesn’t respect you. The people who find the healthiest relationships are the ones that hold on to their pride.
Read also: How to Rebuild Your Life After a Narcissistic Relationship
3. Having Genuine Happiness
No one can love you enough to make you happy.
Sure, love brings joy into our lives. But no one can complete you if you’re not already whole yourself.
If you go into a relationship unhappy, that unhappiness will infect your partner.
True happiness comes from within.
It comes from living a life of purpose. Continuously growing yourself. Creating amazing experiences. Being grateful for what you have. And maintaining a healthy state of mind.
Learn how to be happy on your own and you’ll never use a relationship as a means of emotional support.
Read also: 100 Secrets to Eternal Happiness
4. Having Financial Stability
Don’t get me wrong. Relationships are great.
But I’ve seen money ruin too many.
When your finances are in a good place, you have freedom. Security. And peace of mind.
You can cover emergency expenses. Take chances on new opportunities. And make decisions that are best for you and not just what you need to survive.
I’m not saying money is more important than your partner. But financial independence is one of the greatest forms of freedom you can experience, and it sets a strong foundation for life.
Anything can come and go, but if you have financial stability, you always have options.
5. Having a Strong Sense of Purpose
When you have no purpose, it’s easy to make your relationships your identity.
Good days and bad days depend on how your significant other is treating you. You spend all your time thinking about them. Needing their attention. Their approval. Their affection.
But when you have a strong sense of purpose, you know there’s more to life than being in a relationship.
You wake up every morning with a reason to get out of bed. You have things to do that don’t revolve around a significant other.
Let’s face it, people with a strong sense of purpose don’t need relationships to feel fulfilled, and that kind of confidence is very attractive.
6. Having Healthy Friendships
Dating shouldn’t cancel your social life.
I cannot tell you how many friends I’ve seen vanish the second they start dating someone.
You go from talking every day to never hearing from them again. Your entire world goes from a friend group to just your “boo.”
This is a huge problem.
Friends are your shoulder to cry on when your boo doesn’t text you back.
Healthy friendships keep you grounded. They provide you happiness. Someone to have fun with. Different perspectives. And they fill your life with people who care about you.
True, you’ll have your partner, but your friends are just as important. Never take them for granted.
7. Having Emotional Freedom
Emotional freedom is a beautiful thing.
Not having your sense of self worth ride on someone else’s actions. Feeling secure about yourself even when you’re alone. Knowing who you are and not needing others to validate it.
Too many people jump from one relationship to the next hoping that the next one will make them feel complete.
But emotional freedom allows you to find that completeness within yourself.
You no longer feel needy or desperate because relationships become a choice instead of a requirement.
8. Having Good Mental Health
Your mental health affects every aspect of your life.
How you carry yourself. How you treat people. Your job. Your decision making. Your overall happiness.
And yet, we allow relationships to compromise our mental health.
Some people would rather stay in toxic relationships than be single because being alone scares them.
Never sacrifice your peace of mind for a relationship.
If your mental health isn’t where it should be, take a step back from your partner and work on yourself. There’s no way you’ll find a healthy relationship if you’re mentally unhealthy yourself.
9. Having the Freedom to Grow
Growth takes time. Sacrifice. And dedication to discovering who you are and who you want to become.
When you’re single, you have the space and time to discover yourself. Learn new hobbies. Focus on your goals. Travel. And explore life without having to think about someone else.
Now, this doesn’t mean that being in a relationship will stunt your growth. But if you have to choose between being with someone who hurts you or bettering yourself, ALWAYS choose yourself.
Who you are WILL affect your future relationships. There will come a time when you’ll grow so much that no one will be able to hold you back.
10. Having a Healthy Relationship With Yourself
You know what I think is the best thing about being single?
Getting to spend more time with you.
You see, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all your other relationships.
If you talk down to yourself, other people will take notice and do the same. If you neglect your own needs, you’re much more likely to let others do it too.
Learn to love and appreciate who you are when you’re by yourself and you’ll never feel lonely or settle for anyone who doesn’t appreciate you like you deserve.
Conclusion
Relationships are good. They’re one of the greatest parts of life.
But they shouldn’t be your life.
Peace of mind, self respect, happiness, financial stability, sense of purpose, friendships, emotional freedom, mental health, growth, and yourself are better than being stuck in a relationship that no longer serves you.
Remember that when you’re single and looking.
The happiest and healthiest relationships come from two whole individuals coming together, not two half hearted people trying to complete each other.
FAQ
Is being single better than being in a relationship?
It all depends on your relationship. If your relationship brings you more joy than being single, then you should be with your significant other. However, if your relationship causes more anxiety, stress, and pain than being single does, then you’re better off alone.
Can you be happy without being in a relationship?
Of course! There are so many things in life that can make you happy. From finding your purpose, growing friendships, learning new things, bettering your health, and accepting who you are. These things will make you happy whether you’re single or not.
Why do people feel the need to be in a relationship?
We live in a world that thrives off couples. Facebook posts, Instagram photos, wedding videos. Everybody’s in a relationship trying to show the world how happy they are.
But happiness means different things to different people. And for some, being single is what makes them happy.
What should I focus on if I’m not trying to find a relationship?
Work on bettering yourself! Improve your life goals. Get your finances in order. Better your health. Build friendships. Work on your confidence. The list can go on and on. If you focus on personal growth, you’ll never have time to find someone to distract you from your life.
Is it bad to want to be in a relationship?
No! It’s completely normal to want to find someone and spend your life with them. As long as you’re with someone who wants the same things as you, there is no problem with being in a relationship.
The issue arises when people force themselves into a relationship because they think they have to be with someone.
How do I stop feeling incomplete while being single?
Spend more time with yourself. Find things that you enjoy doing and start doing them. Build healthy friendships that allow you to grow as a friend. Focus on your goals and learn new skills. Learn how to love who you are when you’re by yourself, and you’ll never feel incomplete again.
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