I still remember texting girls for the first time. My fingers were trembling, I drafted the same text message ten times over, and then proceeded to hit send and refresh the chat like crazy. Does this sound like you?
Messaging your crush is nerve-wracking. You never know if you’ll say too much or too little, and one wrong move could ruin your chances with them forever.
Except that’s not true. Trust me, I’ve studied, researched, and tested (failed plenty of times too) what does and doesn’t work when texting your crush. Whether you’re nervous, anxious, shy, or just clueless, these ten texting tips will guide you through crafting the perfect first message and leave a great impression on your crush over text.
Who knows, with these tips, you could even develop the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Don’t Stress: Texting Your Crush Can Be Easy
1. Don’t Overcomplicate Your First Text
Your first text should be light and breezy, something simple and friendly. Even something as easy as “Hey, how’s your day going?” or referencing something that happened to both of you recently can work.
You’re just opening the door, you’re not sending them your love letters.
Pro Tip: Please don’t send long paragraphs of wordy text or emotional dumps. This type of messaging is a big turn-off.
Read also: 10 Signs Your Crush Likes You Back
2. Reference Something You Have in Common
Maybe it’s a class you’re both taking, a friend you know, or even a hobby you both share. Referencing common interests or experiences not only gives you a reason to say hi, but also sets up a great way to start a conversation.
“I saw your Facebook post about the new Marvel episode coming out—I remember you said you loved that series! Have you seen it yet?”
Smooth.
Read also: 45 Flirty Good Morning Texts for Your Crush
3. Emojis Are Cool, but Don’t Overdo It
Emojis are great. They help set the tone of your conversation and can help you sound more playful.
But use them sparingly. Never send a text that’s mostly emojis, but a simple smiley face or laughing emoji can help lighten up your message.
Rule of Thumb: One to three emojis is perfect for your first text.
Read also: 22 Key Differences Between Real Love and a Simple Crush
4. Be Confident, but Don’t Be Arrogant
Nobody likes a needy, begging person. Confidence is sexy; desperation is needy.
As such, never apologize for texting your crush, or give them a million reasons why you decided to message them. You don’t need to say anything deep or intellectual. Something as simple as this works:
“Hey, just thought I’d say hi!”
Short. Simple. Confident.
5. Ask Questions That Promote Conversation
Asking yes/no questions in your first text is a bad idea. It doesn’t promote conversation and leaves them with very little to respond with.
Instead, ask questions that require them to open up.
“How was your weekend?” can become:
“What’s your favorite park in the city to visit on the weekends?”
See the difference?
Asking these types of questions not only leaves more opportunity for conversation, but it’s easier for them to respond with something.
6. Incorporate Some Humor (If You’re Funny)
This one is optional, but if you’re a funny guy/girl, don’t be afraid to show it.
Making your crush laugh over text is a great way to break the ice and make yourself more memorable.
“Hey, quick question. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Yes or no? This may determine if we are friends.”
See what I did there? Not too shabby for a first text, right?
7. Don’t Send Too Many Texts
We all think we’re freaking Romeo/Juliet when we text our crush 50 times back and forth before they reply.
Newsflash.
Unless your crush is doing the same, you WILL look desperate.
If you send too many texts before they respond, not only are you appearing impatient, but you’re also bombarding their phone with messages, which is super creepy.
One text. Wait for them to reply.
This is willpower. You can do it.
8. Match Their Energy
Your crush responds? Great! Pay attention to how they respond. If they go crazy about a specific topic, talk to them more about it. If they don’t seem too thrilled about the topic, drop it and find another way to connect.
Matching energy is important during any conversation. Learn to pick up on their texting style and go from there.
9. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
“What if I typo something?” or “What if I say something stupid?” are things we’ve all worried about before texting our crush.
Listen, here’s the deal. Your crush doesn’t care if you typo something. Nor do they care if you sound “stupid” over text. In fact, they barely pay attention to what you say. I know, right?!
Instead of dwelling on what you say, take these tips and have some fun with it. You got this!
10. Know When to End the Conversation
Unless your crush tells you they’re free and want to keep talking, you shouldn’t have very long conversation lengths when texting them for the first time.
As you continue your conversation, know when to wrap it up and leave them wanting more:
“I should let you enjoy the rest of your day. Talk to you later!”
Not only does this show your respect for their time, but it’ll have them wanting to talk to you next time they see your phone blink.
Wrapping Things Up: Start Crushing
Texting your crush can be simple if you follow these key rules. Be friendly, be confident, be playful, and be respectful. Asking questions, matching their energy, and not boring them with long texts are some of the best ways to ensure you spark a conversation with your crush.
Remember to keep things light and don’t take it too seriously. Your first text doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be you.
Use these tips, start texting your crush, and get that conversation started!
FAQ
Q: When should I text my crush?
A: Ideally, you should try to text your crush somewhere between a few hours to a couple of days after you have the opportunity to. Texting them right when you meet is too soon, but waiting weeks is unreasonable as well.
Q: What if they don’t reply?
A: Don’t freak out. Give them a day or two to reply back. If they don’t reply after that, you can send them a quick text to see if they’re doing okay. Just don’t send 3-4 texts in a row asking if they’re alright.
Q: Should I include a compliment in my first text?
A: Sure, if you want to. As long as it’s casual and not full-on wooing them, a simple compliment can help start a good conversation.
Q: Can I be funny on the first text?
A: Funny is good, but don’t be sarcastic or force jokes that may not translate well over text. You don’t want to be misunderstood on the first message.
Q: Are GIFs okay to use?
A: Heck yea! As long as they understand what you’re trying to say, use GIFs. They help start conversations and add personality to your text. Just don’t use 10 GIFs in one text. Keep it to 1-2 max.
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