I had a female friend growing up that seemed perfect at first. Fun, confident, and magnetic—you couldn’t help but be drawn to her energy.
That was until people grew tired of her backhanded compliments, subtle digs at friends, and overall narcissistic behavior that would emotionally drain those around her.
Ever since then, I realized narcissistic behavior isn’t always evident from the beginning.
Some women are great at hiding it, which is why you need to know the narcissistic personality traits to look out for early on—for your sanity, your relationships, and your boundaries.
In this article, I cover:
- Narcissistic behavior in women
- 10 different traits to look out for and what they mean
Let’s get into it.
10 Narcissistic Behavior in Women
1. Constant Validation
First, you’ll notice narcissistic women have an extreme need for validation.
They often seek reassurance from others through compliments, gifts, or words that make them feel better about themselves.
Whether it’s asking for a compliment about their appearance, achievements, car, or job—narcissists always need some sort of validation to feel good.
Look out for:
- Bragging a lot in conversations
- Drawing a lot of attention to themselves in social settings
- Getting mad if you don’t provide them with attention
Read also: 15 Things Men Should Never Say to a Woman
2. Lack of Empathy
You’ll also quickly realize narcissistic women lack empathy.
Not only can they be selfish, but they have an ultimate inability to understand how other people feel.
If you open up to a narcissist about your day or something you’re feeling stressed about, they may give half of a response before relating it back to themselves.
Empathy isn’t something they’ll occasionally lack; rather, they tend to lack empathy altogether.
Here are some things to look out for:
- Do they constantly dismiss how other people are feeling?
- How often do they ask about your well-being?
Read also: How Narcissists Apologize
3. Manipulative
Narcissistic women are manipulative.
They may use guilt, play the victim, or emotionally control others to get what they want.
I remember a time where my friend played the “what if I can’t trust you again” card so well that I actually did what she wanted.
Gaslighting can be manipulative, but it can also come in the form of subtle caring, checking in, or giving advice.
If their actions are constantly attempting to sway you into doing what they want, that’s manipulation.
You may notice:
- They’ll twist facts to fit their narrative
- Play the victim or make excuses for the behavior
- Attempt to charm you with words or flattery
Read also: 15 Happy Personality Traits That Will Brighten Your Life
4. Controlling
Another trait is that they love to control everything.
From your choices, who you’re friends with, or how you should think about a specific topic.
Some narcissists are very passive about controlling others and may say things like “let me help you with that” or “I think you should…” more often than not.
If someone tries to control you, your boundaries will eventually diminish over time if you let it.
5. Envious
Narcissistic women are also highly competitive and are often envious of others.
Whether it’s another woman’s success, appearance, or attention from the opposite sex.
I’ve caught narcissistic women being extremely cold towards others after they received some sort of recognition in the workplace.
The compliments stopped, and passive-aggressive jokes became the forefront of “support.”
Envy doesn’t always look like rage-green eyes or external jealousy.
Oftentimes, they hide it very well through jokes or disguised concerns.
6. Superficially Fun/Overly Charismatic
Like I mentioned earlier, narcissistic women are usually extremely fun and charismatic at first.
They know how to present themselves to attract the right people and usually come off as VERY friendly when you first meet them.
It’s not until you become close that you realize the fun and charm comes at a price:
Manipulation, self-centeredness, and emotional games.
The biggest problem with narcissistic women is that they don’t always seem narcissistic…at first.
7. Entitled
They often feel entitled to your time, effort, and attention.
- Expecting you to drop everything because they texted you
- Feeling like you hang out with them enough
- They shouldn’t have to do the dishes because they have a long day tomorrow
ENTITLEMENT can be very subtle. But as you get to know someone, patterns will reveal themselves.
If someone shows signs of selfishness and narcissistic behaviors, look out for subtle (or not so subtle) entitlement.
8. Emotional Volcano/Constant Drama
The next trait is that they often feel like everything is a big dramatic deal.
If you brush off their comment, don’t agree with their opinion, or don’t celebrate their “success” enough, you may experience what seems like an emotional eruption from them that you never saw coming.
It’s often a manipulation tactic to make you feel guilty for not doing something they wanted.
9. Gaslighting
Speaking of manipulation, gaslighting is another common trait.
Denying things happened to you, twisting things you said, or making you feel crazy are all forms of gaslighting.
I had a friend who pretended like she never said something IN FRONT OF ME, even though she clearly did.
Gaslighting makes you question your sanity, and more times than not, narcissists will try to do this to get their way.
10. Constant Need to Be Right
The final narcissistic personality trait is the need to always be right.
You’ll notice they may try to one-up you in conversation, correct you when you’re wrong, or even talk over you to prove their point.
Sheena was incredible at finding ways to twist the conversation towards how intelligent she was.
All of these traits are healthy if they come from confidence. But when an ego is driving these actions, you know you’re dealing with narcissism.
Conclusion
There you have it! 10 signs to look out for when dealing with narcissistic women.
I can’t stress this enough: some of the nicest and kindest people on the surface are the worst—keep you wondering what you did.
Recognize these traits early on and avoid getting too deep into a relationship where you constantly seek validation from others.
Stand your ground and maintain healthy boundaries when dealing with narcissistic people.
FAQ
Q: Can a woman have narcissistic traits but not be fully narcissistic?
A: Yes. Many people exhibit some traits without being clinically narcissistic. The difference lies in pattern, intensity, and impact on others.
Q: How should I deal with narcissistic behavior in a friend or partner?
A: Set boundaries, communicate clearly, and avoid engaging in manipulation. Protecting your emotional health is crucial.
Q: Can narcissistic traits change over time?
A: Some traits may soften with self-awareness and therapy, but deep-seated narcissism is difficult to change completely.
Q: Is narcissistic behavior always obvious?
A: No. Many narcissistic women are skilled at charm and hiding harmful behaviors, especially at first. Awareness is key.
Q: How do I protect myself emotionally?
A: Recognize patterns early, avoid constant validation cycles, and maintain strong personal boundaries.
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