One day I was sitting with a friend who was frustrated about her boyfriend making her feel unappreciated. “I love him,” she said, “but sometimes I just feel invisible.”
It broke my heart seeing her like that because to me it was SUCH a simple reminder of how EASY it is to take our partners for granted. Even when we don’t mean to!
When we show our partner that we value and appreciate them, we not only strengthen our relationship but we make them feel secure, loved, and respected.
Valuing your partner is not always about big romantic gestures or buying gifts. More often than not, it means showing up day after day with love and intentional gestures that communicate your appreciation.
If you want a strong, happy, healthy relationship with your partner, you have to put in the work. These are 12 simple ways you can show your partner you value them so they feel loved, cared for, and appreciated.
How to Value Your Partner (12 Tips)
1. Listen
I cannot stress this enough. Listening to your partner is about the highest form of value you can give them. When you truly listen to your partner:
- You make eye contact.
- You put away distractions.
- You hear them out and don’t bombard them with your own problems or opinions.
- You ask questions.
- You’re validating of their emotions.
Your partner will know you value them when you listen to what they have to say.
Read also: How to Develop Active Listening Skills
2. Say Thank You
Another simple way to value your partner is to say “thank you.” Sounds easy, right? It can be if you do it often! Make it a habit to show appreciation to your partner for:
- Doing the dishes.
- Making coffee.
- Picking up groceries.
- Making you breakfast in bed.
- Simply being themselves.
You don’t have to save thank you’s for the grand gestures. Say “thank you” for the little things too.
Read also: 10 Things to Do for Yourself After a Breakup
3. Say “I Love You”
This should go without saying, but you would be surprised at how many people assume their partner just knows they love them. Say “I love you” often! Tell your partner:
- I love you.
- I adore you.
- I appreciate everything you do for me.
- I love how helpful you are.
- I’m so lucky to have you.
Anything that conveys you value them and love them for who they are. Say it until they understand!
4. Respect Their Opinion
You do not have to agree with your partner on everything, but you should respect them. When you value your partner:
- You don’t mock them when they’re wrong.
- You don’t speak over them.
- You don’t make them feel stupid just because you have a different opinion.
Instead of shutting them down, value your partner by listening to what they have to say.
Read also: How to Earn Respect in Every Aspect of Life: 5 Guidelines
5. Spend Quality Time Together
This goes hand in hand with listening, but spending quality time with your partner is crucial. Make sure you:
- Put your phone away.
- Have regular date nights.
- Try new activities together.
Give your partner your undivided attention when you’re spending time with them.
6. Encourage Their Goals
Help your partner reach their goals and celebrate their achievements with them. Show interest in their hobbies and encourage them to grow. Ask them about their day and listen attentively. Follow up on things they say so they know you care.
When you value your partner, you show interest in their life.
7. Be Physical
Hold your partner’s hand. Tell them you love them. Give them hugs and kisses. Sex can also be great for showing your partner you appreciate them, but only if they feel comfortable and want to as well.
You know your partner and their love language. Use what you know about them to show you care.
8. Celebrate What Makes Them Special
Would you want someone to change who you are at your core? No. When you value your partner, you love them for who they are – flaws and all. Show appreciation for what makes them, them.
Whether it’s their talent or their weird sense of humor, let them know you love that about them.
9. Apologize & Forgive
We all make mistakes, but if you value your partner you will apologize when you’re wrong. Likewise, your partner should forgive you when you mess up.
Arguments are part of a relationship. Learn to let go of the small stuff and value your partner by respecting their apologies as well as giving your own.
10. Show Interest
Listen to your partner. Ask them about their day. Ask questions about their job, their hobbies, their passions. Learn about what they like to do and show interest.
Tell them about you too. Share your passions with your partner and grow closer by showing you value their interests.
11. Don’t Abuse Their Vulnerability
Ever told your partner something in confidence and they blew it out of proportion or used it as an opportunity to turn it around on you? That’s not valuing your partner.
If your partner tells you something private, hear them out. Don’t belittle them for trusting you with their feelings.
Value your partner by letting them open up to you.
12. Celebrate Together
We all have goals. We all achieve things in our lives—whether they’re work-related or personal. Make sure you celebrate your partner’s accomplishments with them.
They reached a goal at work? Celebrate with them! They painted something and are proud of it? Celebrate with them! They made you a killer meal? Celebrate with them!
Make sure your partner knows that their wins are your wins too.
When you show your partner you value them, they will open up to you more and show you they care right back. Building a healthy relationship takes time, but when you both feel valued, you have strength in numbers.
Showing your partner you appreciate them helps them feel secure in your relationship. Don’t take your significant other for granted and watch your relationship grow.
FAQ
Q: How can I tell if my partner feels valued?
A: If your partner feels valued by you, they will likely:
- Open up to you and share their feelings more often.
- Show you that they care by listening to you and showing interest in your life.
- Want to spend as much time with you as possible.
Basically, they will feel secure in your relationship and show it.
Q: Will valuing my partner stop my fights?
A: Valuing your partner won’t mean that every fight will disappear. However, you will find that by strengthening your relationship, you will have fewer arguments and they won’t be as bad.
Q: Isn’t saying “I love you” enough to show my partner I value them?
A: Words mean nothing if you don’t show through action that you value them too. Yes, telling your partner you love them is important, but so is showing them you love them through your actions.
Q: What if I do all these things and my partner doesn’t appreciate me?
A: You can only control yourself and your actions. If you do everything you can to show your partner you care about them and they still don’t reciprocate after considerable time has passed, you may want to reevaluate things.
Q: How can I value my partner if I’m not sure that I feel respected in return?
A: In a healthy relationship, both partners value each other. If you do not feel as though your partner values you, no amount of trying to show them you care will change that. They will need to do their part too.
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