Your attitude is how you think about yourself, your life, and the world around you. It determines how you feel, what you decide, and what happens to you. A positive attitude does not mean you’re happy all the time. It doesn’t mean you pretend everything is okay or live in a bubble. It means you work hard to find the sunshine when life gives you rain. It means telling yourself that you can learn from mistakes. That you can grow from difficult times. That you can make it through anything.
A positive attitude allows you to walk through life with peace and confidence. It slowly allows you to create a brighter life for yourself.
Negative self-talk is an issue that many people struggle with. You may catch yourself thinking, “I can’t.” “I am never good enough.” Or “Why does nothing ever go my way?” Negative thoughts can become your reality if you let them. After repeating these types of thoughts, your mind believes it’s true. But it’s not true. You don’t have to believe the negative thoughts you think. You can retrain your mind to think differently. Below are steps on how to start creating a positive mindset.
How to Start Creating a Positive Mindset
1. Understand What It Means to Have a Positive Mindset
Positive thinking is not beating yourself up with silly affirmations, or trying to force yourself to smile when you’re upset. It’s not ignoring your problems and telling them to “go away.” Positive thinking is not allowing negative thoughts to control your life. It’s looking at life’s challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. It’s believing that your hard work will pay off, even if you don’t see the results yet.
Understanding that life is not always going to be fair to you, but you can learn and grow from failure, is something positive thinkers know. Building a positive mindset takes patience and consistency. Every step you take towards positive thinking is a step closer to your goal. The more you think positive, the more you will start to behave positively. You will be kinder to yourself and others. You will stop giving up so easily. And slowly, you will start to feel at peace with the small things in life. That is real power.
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2. Become Conscious of Your Thoughts
The first step to changing your mindset is becoming aware of your thoughts. The human mind thinks thousands of thoughts per day. You probably aren’t even aware of the thoughts you think daily. You could go about your day with a repetitive song in your head or millions of thoughts popping through your mind. Some of those thoughts could be positive or constructive. But what if the thoughts running through your head daily were fueling your fear, self-doubt, or anger?
Challenge yourself to become aware of the thoughts you think daily. What are you telling yourself throughout the day? Are your thoughts empowering you or pulling you down?
Once you realize you have the power to change your thoughts, you can start to do just that. You don’t have to combat every negative thought that enters your mind. But when you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself: is this thought true? Most of our negative thoughts are rooted in fear or past hurt, not in truth. Learning to silence your negative thoughts is half the battle of thinking clearer and kinder thoughts.
Read: How to Transform Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts
3. Speak Positively to Yourself
You would never speak to your best friend or a small child the way you speak to yourself. But when things don’t go your way, what do you say to yourself? Do you make up excuses? Tell yourself the situation is your fault? Say mean words to yourself that you would never say to another human being?
Being mean to yourself is a common behavior that can destroy your peace of mind. How you speak to yourself dictates how you feel about yourself. It can affect your self-confidence and the decisions you make.
Speak to yourself how you would speak to a child or loved one. Be realistic but kind with your words. If you messed up, tell yourself it’s okay and you’ll do better next time. If you’re having a hard time, tell yourself that this situation is difficult, but you are strong enough to get through it.
At first, you may feel crazy doing this, but after time, it will become natural. Your positive words will build your strength because your mind will remember you are capable and safe.
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4. Focus on Things You Can Control
Life is full of things you can’t control. You can’t control other people, the weather, or yesterday. But you can control how you react to things. You can control how you spend your time each day. You have control over the words that come out of your mouth. You control your habits and your attitude.
Positive thinking becomes effective when you stop spending time and energy on things you cannot control and you start focusing on the things you can control. Next time you’re faced with something difficult, take a deep breath and ask yourself: what can I control about this situation?
You can control your response to the situation by taking deep breaths, trying to see the positive, and taking action by finding solutions to your problem. Sometimes taking action is as small as changing your mindset about the situation. Little changes you make today can help you feel better tomorrow. When you learn to control your attitude, you will never feel stuck again because you will feel calm and in control.
5. Practice Daily Gratitude
Gratitude is powerful. When you practice gratitude, you are training your mind to recognize all the good in your life, even when things are tough. Thinking about what you’re grateful for helps you focus on what you have rather than what you lack. It teaches your mind that there is always something to be grateful for, even on hard days.
Every night and morning, ask yourself: what are you grateful for today? It can be as simple as being grateful that you have clean water to drink, that someone smiled at you today, or that you had 10 minutes to yourself. Start by writing down 3 things you’re grateful for each day. Your mind will start to become programmed that you are safe, you will be okay, and that good things come to you.
According to research by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, grateful people experience fewer negative emotions and are more mentally healthy.
6. Create a Healthy Daily Routine
The activities you repeat each day can help or hinder your ability to think positively. When you sleep well, eat whole foods, and move your body, your brain will function better. You will have a clearer mind and be more capable of positive thinking. When your body is healthy, your mind will be too.
Having a set daily routine can also help you reduce stress. Knowing what to expect each day will make you feel more grounded. Try waking up at the same time every morning and going to bed at the same time every night. Allow yourself time to rest, eat, and move your body daily. Your body will begin to feel at peace when you create healthy daily routines.
7. Surround Yourself With Positive People
The people you allow in your life can harm or improve your positive mindset. If you spend every minute of your day with people who complain, trash talk others, and seem angry all the time, it’s nearly impossible to remain positive. However, if you surround yourself with kind, grateful, and strong people, their energy can become contagious.
Positive people are not immune to hard times. They just choose to walk through life with bravery and kindness. Surround yourself with people that want better for themselves and you. Seek out people that listen to you, believe in you, and remind you how great you are.
If you don’t have people like that in your life, turn to uplifting podcasts, books, or YouTube videos. Find people that, when you hear their voice, it makes you believe in yourself.
8. Stop Ruminating on the Things You Can’t Change
You know that anger, shame, or regret feeling you get when something happens? Maybe you take that feeling and sit with it. Let it overtake your thoughts until you can’t think about anything else but that situation. What if instead of letting your mind run wild with negative thoughts, you trained your mind to let go?
Meditation is a great way to help clear your mind and let go of negative thoughts. You cannot change the past. You cannot change what others say or do. All you can control is how you choose to let those situations make you feel. Letting go doesn’t mean you forget what happened. Instead, you choose peace over pain every time.
Letting go can include forgiving someone else. But it can also include forgiving yourself. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did was okay. What it means is that you no longer have to carry that hurt around with you.
Letting go of the negatives will free up space in your mind for more positive thoughts. You will feel lighter, happier, and ready to learn and accept what life throws at you. If you need help learning to let go or forgive, try this forgiveness guide from the Mayo Clinic.
9. Replace Your Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones
Your negative thoughts are not going to disappear overnight. In fact, they may never fully disappear. But you can teach yourself how to counter those negative thoughts with positive ones. Next time you think, “I can’t do this,” replace that thought with, “I will do my best.” When you think, “Nothing ever works for me,” tell yourself, “This is hard, but I can do hard things.”
These small phrases may not seem like much, but they help rewire your brain. You are training your mind to think a certain way. The more you speak positively to yourself, the more natural it will become. Think of your mind like a muscle—the more you work it, the stronger it will get.
10. Don’t Give Up
Creating a positive mindset takes time, and there will be bad days. You will still feel sad, angry, and scared sometimes. That’s okay! Building a positive mindset isn’t about never feeling your feelings. It’s about learning how to pick yourself back up with hope.
I know life can be difficult. I’ve been there too. But you aren’t stuck! Your thoughts are not permanent. You have the power to change the way you view the world and yourself. When you change your mindset, your whole life will start to shift. You’ve already taken the first step by reading this. Now it’s time to put these steps into action. You got this!
Conclusion
Remember, a positive mindset is something you have to work on every day. What you say to yourself, how you handle stress, and how you treat others will shape your mindset. You don’t have to be positive all the time. But you have to be willing to try.
Life is going to throw good times and bad your way. Thinking positively won’t solve all of your problems. But it can help you shine some light on your darkest days. It can help you walk through life with strength and hope.
You are never stuck. Your thoughts are not permanent! You can learn to change how you see the world around you and how you view yourself. Once you start thinking differently, you will start to see changes in your life. Start making an effort today—your mind will thank you!
FAQ
What does having a positive mindset actually mean?
A positive mindset doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time. It means you work hard to find the sunshine when life gives you rain, and you believe you can learn and grow through hard times.
How can I become more aware of my negative thoughts?
Challenge yourself to notice what you’re telling yourself throughout the day, and ask yourself: is this thought true?
What should I do when I catch myself being mean to myself?
Stop and speak to yourself the way you would speak to a child or loved one—realistic, but kind.
Why is gratitude part of building a positive mindset?
Gratitude trains your mind to recognize the good in your life, even when things are tough, and helps you focus on what you have rather than what you lack.
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