Are you trying to figure out how to attract high value men into your life?
I heard two women talking in a café and wanted to share what they said because quite honestly, it says a lot about dating culture right now.
They both wanted “high-value men,” but what they defined as high value was based solely on looks, money, and status.
There was zero emphasis on character or substance. Zero.
One of them said this:
“How come we always date the same type of guy?”
My goodness. If you want to know how to attract high value men, this question is where it all starts.
Attracting value starts with becoming value.
Becoming the woman who high value men are naturally attracted to, yet you don’t have to force anything.
Oh, and by the way, this has NOTHING to do with being “perfect.”
Allow me to explain…
How to Attract a High-Value Man
1. Figure Out What a “High Value Man” Actually Is
The problem is most women get this concept COMPLETELY wrong.
If you think high value men = money, looks, and status, then you’re aiming for the wrong things.
Emphasis on WRONG things.
True high value traits are centered around:
- discipline
- emotional stability
- purpose
- integrity
- thinking long-term
It is entirely possible to be poor, yet a high-value man.
Don’t fall into the Money = Value trap.
Once you realize this, you’ll see why having crystal clear relationship standards is where you start.
Read also: 10 Ways to Value Yourself
2. Become a Woman Who Brings Peace, Not Chaos Into His Life
Men don’t want to deal with chaos.
A high-value man already has enough stress in his life.
He doesn’t need a woman who drains his energy or worries over every little thing.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Am I emotionally available?
- Am I predictable or a total drama queen?
- When he upsets me, do I lash out, or…
If you scare men with your emotions, you’ll attract men who think your drama is sexy.
Newsflash: it’s not.
When you are emotionally predictable and capable of handling life’s small setbacks, you send a powerful message to high value men:
- I’m comfortable in my own skin.
- I’m emotionally available.
- I don’t make things bigger than they have to be.
Women who play the victim in every situation are literally the death of attraction.
Keep things light and never take things too personally.
This is why developing your emotional intelligence improves every part of your dating life.
Read also: 12 Effective Tips to Stay Calm and Manage Your Anger
3. Have Your Own Life Before You Meet Him
If you WINKLEYWANGLED your way into this blog post, you already know you need a life before you meet him.
If you don’t have a life before him, you will become his life.
Simple as that.
Guys can smell needy a mile away.
So build your own:
- goals
- skillset
- money
- hobbies
- identity outside of relationships
Trust me.
This makes ALL the difference.
As you continue to build your own damn life, you will stop chasing every man that smiles your way.
It’s magnetic.
This independent part of self-development is what most women get wrong.
Read also: 150 Self-Reflection Questions for Personal Growth
4. Stop Over-Pursuing Guys All The Time
“I keep meeting guys and I lose them.”
Does this sound familiar?
You go from ZERO communication to CONSTANT communication.
He starts texting you every day and you get obsessed.
It’s classic male attention crush syndrome.
If you don’t know what that is, you over-text, over-please, over-explain yourself, and basically turn into a female stalker.
Stop it.
Let him chase you for a change.
Men are attracted to women they HAVE to work for.
Stop ruining your value by being overly available.
Unless he proves he’s willing to put in effort, you do nothing.
5. Work On Your Emotions
Look, men like attractive women BUT they also seek out women that they can have a stable future with.
If you turn every little slight into a dramatic conversation that goes nowhere, guess what?
No future.
Men are not attracted to women that “snowflake” over everything.
That means it’s time to learn how to stop overreacting and communicate better.
You might be thinking:
“Well it’s not every little thing I blow up…. MOST things.”
Newsflash: Most things means you have a problem with emotional control.
This is what high value men notice.
6. Have Standards
Women are attracted to guys with standards.
Men are attracted to women with standards.
Guys do not want dating scavengers who are willing to sleep with anyone.
Yet they’re also not attracted to high-level bitches that are closed-minded about everything.
Know the difference between setting standards vs. trying to find perfection.
It should go something like this:
“Here’s what I will and will not accept in my life.”
NOT
“Oh he better do THIS, THIS, and THIS or I’m gone.”
Setting standards is healthy.
Thinking you will find a man that meets your exact criteria is delusional.
Balance your standards with some grace.
7. Take Care Of Yourself (Appearance Matters)
Does the way you present yourself matter?
Of course!
When you look sloppy, messy, and unfocused on your appearance, you’re telling men YOU don’t value yourself.
That doesn’t mean be a perfectionist about your looks.
Stay modest but clean.
Does he ever meet you at your place?
If you go out of your way to look nice when you’re hanging with him, but you routinely look like a hot mess at home, odds are you put on a cute face just to attract him.
Again, doesn’t mean be perfect at all times, but pay attention to the simple things.
How you carry yourself says a lot about your self-esteem.
8. Be Soft, Not Weak
Guys like strong women.
Guys also hate playing keyboard warrior with women who cry over spilt milk.
There’s a huge difference between being soft and being weak.
As women, we’re attracted to men that make us feel safe.
Men are attracted to women that make them feel manly.
If you’re soft around him (emotionally vulnerable) while still maintaining your self-respect, you’ve got the recipe.
But if you fold like a wet napkin at the first sign of conflict, THAT is weakness.
Strength is not an absence of emotion.
Weakness is.
9. Support Him, Don’t Fight Him
High value men know what they want.
They have direction and goals.
If you’re always trying to one up him or point out everything he’s doing wrong, you’re not supporting him.
You’re attacking him.
Now yes, every relationship has their debates and arguments.
But constant criticism will destroy any relationship before it begins.
Instead of pushing against him, learn how to move WITH him.
Support his goals and vision for his life.
You are a team, not opponents.
Complement him.
Understand how you can align WITH him and his goals.
This doesn’t mean you lose your identity.
It means you know how to pick your battles.
10. Work On Becoming High Value Yourself
You cannot give what you don’t have.
If you don’t know what it means to be emotionally disciplined, you will struggle to be with someone that does.
Same thing with money, goals, careers, etc.
You have to put in the work if you want to attract high value men into your life.
How can you expect a man who runs his finances right to date a woman who spends money like it’s going out of style?
What you put out into the universe is what you attract.
Raise your standards by RISING up.
That’s how it works.
If you want high value men to notice you, you have to become high-value yourself.
This right here is why becoming high value should be your number one priority.
Conclusion
Attracting high value men has nothing to do with fake pickup lines or playing games.
If you show up as a half-assed woman with low standards, low money, and no goals, you’re going to attract LOW VALUE men.
Want high value men?
Become high-value yourself.
Raise your standards by leveling UP in life.
Stop settling for less than you deserve.
You want to meet incredible guys?
Create an incredible life FIRST.
Let attraction be the natural result of who you become.
PS: If you’re struggling to build your life before him, check out my roadmap that took me from homeless to living my dreams.
It can help you too.
Frequently Asked Questions
What defines a high value man?
Discipline, goals, money, integrity, and emotional stability. Looks and status do NOT make him high value.
Do I have to be perfect to attract a high value man?
No. You have to be emotionally healthy, have goals, money, and discipline. Perfection is impossible.
What scares high value men away?
Women with no lives, no goals, poor hygiene, drama addicts, and women that lack a personality outside of relationships.
Can I rely on my looks alone to attract a high value man?
Your looks will get you INITIAL attention, but not lasting attraction or respect.
What’s the most important trait a woman can have when trying to attract a man?
Emotional stability and self-worth. If you don’t know how to feel secure in your life, you’ll communicate that through your body language.
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