It is an inner voice that is silent. It talks here and there at times it says nothing. It tells you, “You can never be good enough,” or “You never do things right,” or “What is the point in bothering anyway?” The voice that talks to you is your critic.
The inner critic lives in all of us. This does not imply that something is wrong with you. It only implies that you are a human being. However, when you follow that voice in life, you will gradually break your confidence. It will instill fear in you to take new initiatives. It will distrust your values, your skills and your ambitions.
When you want to live in a way that is confident, peaceful, you must know how to shut that voice up–replace it with a better voice. You must develop a self-belief habit where you have to believe in yourself although it is difficult. It is not magical. And it is your choice day by day.
This post is going to teach you about the inner critic, what it is, its origins, and how to make it stop running your life. You will also how to develop a good voice within you that will make you feel good and not good.
The Inner Critic Is What?
The inner critic is that voice which judges, blames and shames you. It even recycles the same thing that happened when you were younger. This may be messages that you received during childhood, no longer being successful, trauma or what people once used to say to you.
It is not always harsh sounding. Occasionally, it even sounds like it is trying to defend you:
Do not talk, others will laugh at you.
You can never apply to that job and fare.
What is the use, you are not intelligent like others.
This protection however is not true. It can make you stagnant instead of encouraging you to grow. A cage is constructed instead of keeping you safe.
Read also: 10 Secret Hacks to Become the Best Version of Yourself
Here Is Why You Need to Shut It Up
Unless you shut the voice down, the inner critic will be the voice of choice. You will come to believe everything quoted in it. That opinion will influence your decisions, your affiliation, your occupation and your future.
You will get less confident. You will give overanalysis. This will make you feel exhausted, nervous, or depressed with no apparent reason. and worst of all, you will lose confidence in yourself.
You also have better than that. You have a right to live confidly. You should be allowed to fail and to get up and learn. You should have trust in your dreams, and in your capacity to have the self you desire.
To do so, the inner voice has to shift. As Harvard Business Review explains, challenging this voice is a key to greater resilience.
Read also: 8 Simple Tips to Beat Procrastination and Get Things Done
The Way to Repress the Inner Critic
The idea is not to eliminate inner critic altogether. That is not practical. The idea is to cease in allowing it to lead. So as to render the voice of itself diminutive, and the true voice of funful.
This is time consuming. However you will improve, with practice. The following is the way to get started:
1. Take Notice of the Voice As It Communicates Itself With You When It Appears
The first solution is enlightenment. Too many are not even aware of how much the critic is talking.
It is time to begin listening to thoughts. What do you tell yourself when you get it wrong, or maybe when you have an obstacle in the way?
You could even have such thoughts as, I am such an idiot or this always happens to me. This is red flags. That is your reviewer talking.
It is not to be neglected. It is not true. It is just noticeable. The lesser you pay attention to it, the more power it has.
Read also: How to Rekindle Your Passion and Create the Life You Truly Want (8 Steps)
2. Name It, Give It a Name
There are therapists who recommend to call your inner critic by a name. It may be absurd but it works.
Giving it a name, such as The Bully or Negative Nancy will enhance a distance between you and the voice. Then you begin to realize that it is not your actual self.
When it appears again, make some such remark as, Oh, along comes The Bully again, or, Nice going, Nancy, but I am not listening to-day. This removes power out of your hands as a critic and places it into your hands.
3. Talk to It Like You Are to a Good Friend
Consider your best friend is in a bad mood and relays, I am such a failure. Do you concur with them? No. Themselves would you raise.
It is your right to treat yourself as well. Talk back as a kind friend when the critic speaks.
When it tells you you are a loser you respond with, no, I am a person who is trying and that counts.
When it tells you that you are not good enough, you respond, I am doing my best, and that is good enough at this time.
This can be unnatural, to start with. However, it gets easier with practice.
4. Harsh Thoughts Should Be Replaced by the Honest Ones
You do not want to lie to yourself. It is to be nice and tell the truth.
Suppose you have done something wrong in the office. The critic will say it is you that screws everything up.
Rather, give something honest, like, Yes, I have done the wrong thing, and I can rectify it and learn a lesson.
Notice how that still remains an honest thought, but it does not bring you down. It helps you develop.
5. Confidence Journal
Every day jot down three good things you did. They do not need to be large.
Perhaps, you appeared to be at the right time. You perhaps heard an impatient person. Perhaps, you continued regardless of being fatigued.
The critic wants you to forget victories. You are reminded of them in the journal.
Eventually, it is a habit that will make your brain more chances to spend on what is working rather than what is wrong. PsychCentral’s article shares how journaling supports positive self-talk.
6. Establish Some Boundaries with Critic-Feeding People
There are times when your inner critic will be very vocal simply because there is another person living in your circle who constantly supplies your inner critic.
It may be a parent who keeps comparing you with others. A boss who criticizes you and criticizes you. A friend that ridicules your fantasies.
Avoid spending time with people that make you be self-doubting as much as possible. Or, impose some boundaries on them.
Use lines like, I do not accept non helpful criticism, or You must not talk to me in this way.
Sometimes people are not under your control. However, you can regulate what gets to enter your mind.
Read also: 10 Reasons Why Boundaries Are the Real Love Language
7. Learn to Celebrate Yourself with No Shame
A lot of individuals are strange with self-celebration. They believe it is pride or arrogant.
However having confidence in yourself is not prideful. It’s survival. It is that which drives you.
When you complete a task, do something you have never done or fulfil a promise to yourself, celebrate. Tell your self, I am proud of me.
The more you do that, the more your mind will become convinced that you have someone who is worth being trusted.
8. Comparisons Unleash Before They Kill Your Confidence
When you compare yourself to others the critic usually becomes louder.
You scroll through the Internet and you see somebody, who has got a perfect life. The voice speaks, you will never be that.
union, You hear somebody is promoted. The voice, says, You are a failure.
Lay hold on it quickly. Repeat to the mind, their story not my story. I don t go my own way.”
Comparison is a pit. It makes you oblivious of what you have accomplished. Look at the insides, not on the outsides.
9. Make the Aim Progress Not the Perfection
The critic lives in perfection. It says that you are worthless if you are not perfect.
However, perfection is not real. There is no human who is flawless. By having faith in you, you understand that you will learn, make mistakes, and learn more.
Reach out to improvement. Small steps. Daily effort. Eventually, you will reflect and appreciate the progress you have made as an individual, even though you made mistakes.
10. Don’t Forget That You Are Not Your Thoughts
The thing is, Even because you think it does not mean that it is.
The inner critic tells lies. You cannot agree with them however. You are a listener not voice. You have a choice on what you think.
You are not screwed up. That which is behind you is not ahead. Your company is not the only company.
Yet you have the power. You are sufficient. You are learning. You are growing.
Final Words
Muting your inner critic is not a single event. It is a routine thing.
Every now and then the voice will be silent. She will scream on other days. but every time you speak out praise and speak out fear and speak out truth you are training up a new voice.
A suggestion that goes, I can do hard things.
The voice that tells, I am worthy in spite of failure.
It is a voice in one own self which says, I believe in me.
That is the voice which you want. This is the voice you are due. And research shows that compassionate inner voices are key to lasting emotional strength.
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