8 Steps to Bring Back Your Ex-Boyfriend

She just broke up with her boyfriend and wanted him back. Really badly.

She sent him texts every hour, tried reading too much into every “hi,” friended him on Facebook, and started posting cryptic statuses for him to read between the lines.

I looked at her and said: “Girl, calm down.”

And then I delivered the ice-cold truth:

You’re pushing him farther away by chasing him.

Oh, how that sunk in.

You see, most people think getting your ex back is all about perseverance—making yourself Facebook-worthy so he’ll come crawling back to you.

But it’s not.

Getting your ex back is about strategy. It’s about self-improvement. Understanding where things went wrong and fixing them. And most importantly, waiting for the time to be right.

You can’t force someone to come back into your life. But you can prepare yourself so when that door opens, you’re ready to walk through it together.

Ready to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back?

8 steps to get your ex boyfriend back

Step 1: Step Away From the Situation

No contact. Even though you want to get your boyfriend back, you have to stop yourself from reaching out to him.

Breakups are emotional. You will make a fool of yourself if you act on impulses.

Take some time to:

Cool off
Figure out your emotions
Decide if you even want to get back with him

Ask yourself:

Did I cause the breakup?
What problems were between us?
Can I act maturely if we give this another chance?

This isn’t about giving him space because he decided to punish you by dumping you. This is about YOU giving yourself space.

Allow yourself to breathe and reflect on what happened.

Trust me, if you try to contact your ex too soon, you’ll end up making the same mistakes you did in the past.

Step 2: Work On Yourself (aka Fix Yourself)

Improving yourself after a breakup is one of the most crucial steps to take when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back.

Here’s what happens when you focus on bettering yourself:

You gain your confidence back
You become attractive to him once again

There are many ways you can improve yourself. You can:

Hit the gym
Start a new hobby
Learn how to better express your emotions

Once he sees you having a better life without him, he’ll become intrigued.

He won’t see you as “that-girl-who-broke-up-with-me.” He’ll see you as his woman that he lost.

Step 3: Limit Your Communication

Now it’s time to cut all ties.

I know you two talked about meeting up for coffee a few days ago, but you have to resist the temptation.

DON’T TEXT HIM.
DON’T CALL HIM.
DON’T SHOW UP ON HIS DOORSTEP.

You need to avoid contact with your ex as much as possible.

Let time pass and let him miss you.

I promise you, if you play your cards right, being distant will make him more attracted to you.

Step 4: Ease Back into Communication

Alright, it’s been a few weeks. You haven’t tried getting back in contact, you two haven’t spoken, and you’ve been bettering yourself.

It’s time to give your ex a little nudge.

Shoot him a text saying something like:

“Hey, I was in the store earlier and saw this and thought of you.”

It’s as simple as that.

Avoid doing these things when you text him:

Don’t beg for him to take you back
Don’t go into detail about how horrible you were in the relationship
Don’t unload your emotions on him

You want to break the ice and get back on good terms.

Once you two are texting like normal, you can begin talking face-to-face either in person or over the phone.

Step 5: Own Up To Your Mistakes

You two have been talking and everything is going pretty good.

It’s time to apologize and tell him how you feel.

Now remember, don’t sound like you are pleading for him to take you back.

You dumped him for a reason, so own up to your mistakes and tell him how you’ve changed.

Try saying something like:

“I know I wasn’t the best at communicating my feelings and I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ve been working on myself so I can better understand you.”

When you bring up the past, focus on the good changes you’ve made to avoid screwing up like you did before.

Step 6: Reconnect With Your Boyfriend Emotionally

Physical attraction is great, but if you want your boyfriend to fall back in love with you, you need to connect with him emotionally.

Flirt with him.

Remind him of all the good times you two had when you were together.

Make him feel those good ole’ butterflies.

Don’t play games with him or try to test him.

You want your relationship with him to be REAL.

Step 7: Hang Out With Him

He loves spending time with you and you two are officially hanging out.

You’ve been giving each other space, you two have been communicating, and you realized your mistakes.

Now it’s time to have fun!

Go on a casual date—maybe coffee or a walk in the park.

Do something that you two enjoy doing together.

If you have great get-togethers, you two will create a stronger bond.

He’ll start to associate you with happiness and comfort, which will lead him back into your arms.

Step 8: Let Him Make the Decision

Girlfriend, this is the part most people don’t understand.

You’ve done everything you can to get your ex boyfriend back.

You’ve taken a step back from the situation, you made yourself Facebook-worthy, you two have been talking, you owned up to your mistakes, you’ve built that relationship back up, and you know where you both stand.

Now it’s time to let him make the decision.

You can’t force someone to love you if they don’t want to.

The sooner you accept this, the better off you’ll be.

Either he will show you that he wants to be with you by his actions, or you’ve done all you can and you need to move on.

Avoid THESE Mistakes at All Costs

There are certain things you should AVOID when trying to get your ex back.

If you do any of these, you’ll push your ex farther away and may not get him back at all.

Don’t over-text him or call him every 2 seconds
Don’t constantly tell him how you two screwed up
Don’t seem desperate for him to want you back
Don’t rush him for answers

Keep your head high and stay confident.

You will let him know you’ve bettered yourself simply by your actions.

Keep Him Yours FOR GOOD!

Let’s say you did everything right.

You two went on great get-togethers, realized your mistakes, and he decided to take you back.

What do you do now?

You make sure he stays with YOU.

Continue to better yourself, work on your communication, keep the romance alive, and NEVER go back to old habits that drove him away in the first place.

A relationship will fall apart if you two resort back to your old ways.

By building that emotional connection with your ex boyfriend, you won’t only get him back—you’ll keep him.

Conclusion

Getting your ex boyfriend back is not about chasing him or begging him to take you back into his life.

It’s about giving each other space, making yourself desirable, reconnecting with your boyfriend, and letting him make the decision.

I know it sucks right now, but if you try to contact your ex, you’ll only make things worse.

Once you two have fixed your relationship, spent time with each other, and got back together, you’ll know what REAL love is.

FAQ

Will this really get my ex boyfriend back?
Yes, but you have to be patient. If you jump all over him asking to take you back, you will scare him off.

How long should I wait before I contact my ex?
Every relationship is different, but I would suggest no contact for 3–6 weeks.

What if my ex has already moved on?
Work on bettering yourself and move on yourself. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Can I talk to my ex about what we did wrong in the relationship?
Of course! But don’t go into it like you’re trying to blame him for everything that went wrong.

Will texting my ex help me get him back?
Yes, but don’t overdo it. Use texting to ease back into a conversation with your ex. Avoid constantly uploading pictures of yourself doing every activity imaginable.

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