I’ll never forget how it felt the first time I saw someone I loved walk away from me. Not because of some dramatic scene—we hardly said a word. It was in the moments after, realizing how life was going to go on without them.
Your world is going to keep spinning after a breakup, whether you’re ready or not. While it’s far from ideal, it can be an opportunity to learn more about yourself, build resilience, and grow emotionally.
I know you’re hurting right now. You’re likely feeling a million emotions all at once, including sadness, anger, confusion, or disappointment. Maybe you blame yourself, or maybe you blame them. You think about what you could’ve done differently, or worse, you imagine what life would be like if they never left.
If you made it this far, I want you to know that you’re not alone. While breakups are never easy, healing from your heartbreak is possible. And it all starts by learning how to heal yourself after a breakup.
Here are five ways you can get yourself back on track and rediscover happiness once again.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel Whatever You’re Feeling
The biggest mistake people make after a breakup is trying to avoid their emotions. Sure, you can bury yourself in work or distract yourself with friends and social media, but your emotions will eventually leak out one way or another.
You have to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Anger, sadness, resentment—whatever comes up for you, let it out. Cry if you have to. Journal about it. Call up a friend and vent. Feeling your emotions will only help you in the long run.
Why? Bottling things up inside never makes them go away. By acknowledging your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them, you give your mind and body what it needs to heal naturally. You become in control again, rather than letting your emotions control you.
Tip: Journaling is a great way to continue to process your emotions. Spend 10–15 minutes every day writing out how you feel. You’ll be amazed at what you learn about your own emotions.
Read also: 15 Journaling Prompts for Anger
2. Cut off ALL Contact (Even If It’s Temporary)
Listen, I get it. You want to see their Instagram stories. You want to text them and see how they’re doing (even if it’s just to say hi). Don’t.
The last thing you want to do is prolong the healing process by contacting your ex. Create space between you and your ex—even if it’s temporary. Your mind will thank you later.
Here are some ideas:
- Unfollow them on social media or mute their posts.
- Don’t go to your favorite hangout spot if you know they’ll be there.
- Delete their number from your phone or block them (trust me, you’ll appreciate it later).
Remember, this isn’t about punishing your ex—it’s about taking care of YOU. Healing from heartbreak is an investment that you make in yourself.
Read also: 15 Ways to Focus on Yourself After a Breakup
3. Rediscover Yourself Outside of the Relationship
Losing someone you loved can make you feel like you lost a part of yourself. Maybe you defined your social life by your partner. You went everywhere together, did everything together. Suddenly, you’re left wondering who you are without them.
This is the perfect opportunity to rediscover yourself outside of your relationship.
Think about activities you used to enjoy but haven’t done since you’ve been with your partner. Start doing them again! Meet up with friends you’ve been meaning to catch up with. Try something new that you’ve always been interested in.
The main idea is to remind yourself that you are complete without them. You are a whole, capable person who knows how to love and accept yourself. Self-love is the foundation of any future relationship you have.
4. Treat Yourself (And Your Body) With Care
Breakups suck. No matter how “ready” you thought you were or how much you wanted things to end, it’s still going to drain you emotionally. When your emotions are drained, so is your body.
That’s why it’s important to take care of yourself during this time.
- Exercise. Go for a run, hit the gym, or take a 20-minute walk outside. Getting endorphins will do wonders for your mood.
- Eat healthy. Don’t punish your body with junk food. Eat what makes you feel good and energized.
- Get enough sleep. While you’re sleeping, your brain is doing a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to processing your emotions. Make sure you’re getting enough rest!
- Give yourself little gifts. Whether it’s your favorite coffee drink, a good book, or taking a nice hot bath. You deserve to be taken care of!
You are worthy of care and attention, even if you’re the only one giving it to yourself right now. The more you take care of yourself during this time, the more you’ll grow to respect yourself—which is what every future partner wants to see.
5. Reflect on What You’ve Learned
Once you feel you’ve moved on enough from all the pain, take time to reflect on what you’ve learned. Not to beat yourself up over things you could’ve done differently, but to grow from the relationship.
Reflect on these questions:
- What patterns did I notice throughout the relationship?
- What were my needs that weren’t being met? How will I know when someone else is meeting them moving forward?
- What did I learn about myself throughout this relationship?
Again, reflection is meant to grow from your past relationship, not punish yourself or your ex for things that didn’t work out. You’re gathering knowledge to use as a blueprint for future relationships.
Bonus tip: Write down three things you learned from being in this relationship and three ways that you’ll apply what you learned to future relationships. This brings your learnings to life.
Conclusion
Breakups suck. But they’re also an opportunity to learn more about yourself, grow from your past relationship, and come out on the other end healthier and stronger than ever.
Remember, there’s no set timeline for healing from heartbreak. As long as you’re taking the proper steps to care for yourself during this time, you’ll be just fine.
You are strong. You are capable of loving again, and most importantly…you WILL get through this. Even if you don’t feel like it right now, I promise you’re going to be okay.
FAQ
Q: How long does it take to heal after a breakup?
A: Healing varies from person to person. There’s no set timeline, but consistent self-care and reflection will help you move forward faster.
Q: Is it okay to contact my ex during the healing process?
A: It’s best to avoid contact, at least temporarily. Creating space helps you process your emotions and heal properly.
Q: Can I truly rediscover myself after a long-term relationship?
A: Absolutely. Taking time to reconnect with your interests, friends, and passions reminds you that you are complete and capable on your own.
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