It took me a while to realize that loneliness does not always equal physical solitude. You can feel utterly alone even when surrounded by people. Pay attention to the quality of your connection— to yourself, others, and the world around you.
Loneliness is unpleasant, but it can actually affect you physically. According to research done by the U.S. Surgeon General, almost 50 percent of Americans experience some quantifiable amount of loneliness, which puts them at greater risk for cardiovascular disease, depression, and compromised immunity. Loneliness isn’t forever.
Loneliness is an extremely difficult thing to cope with. Even if you’ve never experienced crippling loneliness, you’ve felt lonely before.
Here are 20 ways to cope with loneliness and start reconnecting with others:
1. Identify Lonely Feelings
The first step is admitting that you feel lonely. You may want to push it down or ignore it. Loneliness will only weigh you down if you allow it to. You’re not flawed for feeling lonely; you’re human.
By naming the emotion, you can begin to identify solutions.
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2. Connect With Yourself
Be honest with yourself: Are you lonely because you feel disconnected from who you are? Learn more about yourself. Your likes and dislikes. Your hobbies. The things that bring you joy. Allow yourself to get comfortable with being alone with who you are. Self-discovery isn’t selfish.
3. Reach Out
Make the decision to pick up the phone and call someone. Ask a friend how they’re doing or talk to your sibling about their day. Send a quick text to an old friend. Remind yourself that you aren’t as alone as you may think.
Also: 16 Things to Learn When Bored at Home
4. Join a Group or Club
Finding a group of people who you fit in with is one of the best ways to beat loneliness. Find a club, activity group, volunteer group, or an online community of people who share your interests.
According to research published by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, engaging in group activity decreased levels of loneliness in participants by giving them a sense of belonging.
5. Deepen Your Relationships
You don’t need to have 100 friends. Spend more time with your close friends and family. Pour more energy into cultivating relationships that matter. Foster deeper connections through quality conversations and shared interests.
6. Enjoy Your Own Company
Lonely people never learn to be alone. Know that just because you are by yourself doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely. Train your mind to enjoy your own company by doing things you enjoy alone.
Also: 7 Quiet Things to Do When Bored
7. Volunteer
Volunteering is a great way to feel needed and gain a sense of belonging. Not only will you meet people who share similar values as you, but research has shown that volunteering alleviates symptoms of loneliness and depression by giving you a sense of purpose.
8. Stop Looking at Social Media So Much
Scrolling through social media is a sure-fire way to feel lonely. Not only are you staring at a screen alone, but you’re likely going to feel inferior when comparing yourself to others. Limit your screen time and replace it with other activities that add value to your life.
9. Create a Schedule
Structure your day. You’ll feel lonelier if you have nothing to do. Fill your time with things that enrich your well-being, like exercise, preparing healthy meals, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy. Creating healthy routines will not only give you something to do but will benefit your overall health.
10. Reach Out to Old Friends
Send that friend you’ve been meaning to reach out to a text that says “thinking about you.” Give your old high school friend a call. Sometimes you just need to reconnect and say hi.
11. Pick Up a Hobby
Picking up a hobby or working on something creative allows you to externalize your feelings. Whether you’re painting, writing, playing music, or creating something with your hands, your feelings are being expressed somewhere other than your mind. Working on something creative can also help you meet like-minded people.
12. Be Present
When you’re engaging in conversation with someone, be present. Listen intently and ask questions. You can have small talk with everyone you meet, but you can only have a meaningful conversation with those who you truly connect with.
13. Practice Gratitude
It’s easy to feel lonely and want to crawl under the covers. When you feel lonely, try shifting your focus and thinking about one thing you have to be grateful for. It can be as simple as a gratitude journal before bed. Little things like this can rewire your brain to feel grateful instead of lonely.
14. Exercise
Exercising has wonderful benefits for your mental health as well as physical health. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins that will lift your mood and give you more energy.
15. Be Around Positive Energy
Surround yourself with warm, inviting energy and places that lift you up. Go to the park. Visit a cozy coffee shop. Or just tidy up your room.
16. Talk to a Professional
If you feel like loneliness is becoming chronic and overwhelming, you may want to speak to a therapist or doctor. Sometimes loneliness can be linked to depression, and it’s important to get help if you need it.
17. Learn Something New
Whether you take a class or learn something on your own, continually learning new things will stimulate your mind and allow you to meet new people.
18. Show Yourself Some Grace
Don’t beat yourself up about feeling lonely. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel lonely and that this feeling is temporary. You would not speak to someone you care about the way you speak to yourself. Show yourself some grace.
19. Go For a Walk
Sometimes all you need to do is step outside. Going outside for a walk can help you feel more connected to the world around you and remind you that you are a small part of something much bigger.
20. Keep Putting Yourself Out There
Loneliness doesn’t fix itself overnight. It will take time and consistency to start feeling connected again. Continue showing up and putting yourself out there. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you just let yourself be a part of something bigger than yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel lonely even when I’m around people?
Yes. Loneliness doesn’t always equal physical solitude, and you can feel alone even when surrounded by others.
How do I know if what I’m feeling is loneliness?
If you feel disconnected from yourself, others, or the world around you, that can be a sign you’re experiencing loneliness.
What’s one small thing I can do today if I feel lonely?
Reach out. Send a quick text or call someone, even if it’s just to say hi.
Do I need a lot of friends to stop feeling lonely?
No. You don’t need 100 friends—focusing on deeper relationships can help you feel more connected.
When should I talk to a professional about loneliness?
If loneliness feels chronic, overwhelming, or linked to depression, it may be helpful to speak to a therapist or doctor.
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