19 Tips for Dating Older Men

19 Tips for Dating Older Men

1. Appreciate His Life Experience

There’s no doubt about it—older men have been alive longer than you and have learned a lot of lessons along the way.

Rather than trying to one-up him or become frustrated with stories of his past, appreciate that he’s willing to share his knowledge with you.

Ask questions. Listen intently. Show him that you respect the journey he’s been on.

Read also: How to Compliment a Man


2. Be Confident in Who You Are

This goes for dating anyone—but confidence is magnetic.

When you date an older man, you have to feel secure in yourself and what you want from a relationship.

If you come across as needy or lost, he may assume you need him to fill a void that nothing will satisfy.

You are amazing just how you are—remember that when you’re with him.


3. Don’t Pretend to Be Someone You’re Not

Again, this applies to dating in general—but many girls try to act older when going after an older man.

News flash: He’ll know.

Acting like you’re not 22 but instead 28 will only lead him to believe you’re insecure or trying too hard.

Let your quirks shine through and be yourself—even if you think he’s too old to relate to your hobbies.

Read also: 10 Weird Things Men Find Attractive


4. Respect His Independence

You know the stereotype: Men chase women until they get them in a relationship, and then they lose all interest.

Older men are often set in their ways. They have things they like to do and will often want to keep up that independence once they start dating someone new.

While it’s normal to want to spend all your time with someone you like, don’t become needy by trying to control his time.

Value his independence and it will pay off in the long run.


5. Be Clear With Him About What You’re Looking For

Ambiguity is the worst thing you can introduce to any relationship.

If you want a relationship, say you want a relationship.

If you’re just looking to have fun, say that.

Older men are no strangers to dishonesty because many people try to play games with them.

You wouldn’t want someone leading you on, so don’t do it to him.

Be honest and clear about what you want, and if he cares about you, he’ll do the same.

Read also: 7 Intriguing Reasons Why Younger Men Like Older Women


6. Don’t Stereotype Him By His Age

Some men reach a certain age and become obsessed with golf, checking watches, and making sure everything is extra plain and boring.

However, just because he may be 10+ years older than you doesn’t mean he fits any stereotype you’ve heard.

Get to know him for who he is as an individual rather than who you think he should be.


7. Be Supportive of His Goals—but Not Needy

Remember how we mentioned older men are set in their ways?

They have jobs, families, workouts, hobbies, etc., that they like to keep up with.

Show interest and support in his dreams and goals, but don’t become so overbearing that you try to change who he is.

Maintain your relationship boundaries and let him do the same.

It’ll not only allow you to grow closer, but it shows you’re emotionally mature enough for a relationship.


8. Be Interested in His Interests

While age certainly doesn’t define someone’s hobbies, older men tend to have more hobbies than your average 22-year-old guy.

If he loves golf, ask him how to play.

If he’s constantly on YouTube watching music documentaries, watch with him.

If he loves old-school hip hop, learn the songs and dance along.

You’ll never know if you like something if you don’t try it, and showing interest in what he likes shows him that you care about his passions.


9. Maintain Your Own Independence

While it’s important to show interest in his hobbies, you shouldn’t sacrifice your own hobbies because you started dating him.

One of the most attractive qualities to an older man is having your own ambitions, hobbies, and social life.

Make sure you maintain your independence when dating so things don’t become too stagnant or boring.


10. Feel Comfortable With Age & Cultural Differences

As I mentioned before, dating someone with a large age gap will be different than dating someone your age.

Maybe he listens to music you’ve never heard of, doesn’t know who today’s celebrities are, or doesn’t understand memes.

Rather than correcting him every chance you get, learn to appreciate the differences.

It’ll make life easier if you try to see things from his point of view.


11. Don’t Feel Like You Have to Compete With His Exes

If he has children from a previous relationship or ex-girlfriends he still keeps in contact with, don’t feel threatened.

You don’t have to prove to him that you’re any better than his exes were—you just have to prove that you’re better for him now.

It shouldn’t matter what he did in the past, as long as he treats you how you want to be treated in the present.


12. Show Gratitude

We all love to feel appreciated, and older men are no different.

If he does you a favor or goes out of his way to make you happy, show gratitude.

It’ll not only make him feel good about doing those things, but it’ll encourage him to do more for you.


13. Be Patient With Relationship Pace

Sorry to say, ladies, but older men tend to take things slower than your average man.

Whether it’s due to being beat down by exes, being in a serious relationship for a long time already, or genuinely not wanting to rush—you’ll have to be patient with the pace he sets.

Don’t rush things or try to initiate physical contact too soon. Let things progress naturally and you’ll find yourself in a happy, healthy relationship in no time.


14. Communicate, Even If You Don’t Agree

Communication is key in any relationship, but sometimes you and your partner will have differences you won’t see eye to eye on.

When those times come, sit down and communicate.

You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should at least be able to compromise and understand where each other is coming from.


15. Don’t Play Games

Speaking of communication…

Guys don’t like playing games—regardless of their age.

Many older guys have been with women that did the whole no-contact thing, played games, and used outdated pickup lines their entire lives.

You’ll have a better chance wearing your heart on your sleeve than trying to figure out the best way to play him.

Be genuine, and you’ll find a genuine guy to match.


16. Show Interest in His Friends

Like I said earlier, older men usually have friends that they’ve known for a long time.

Make sure you show interest in his friends and include them if you two hang out.

It’ll show him you’re understanding and willing to mesh with his life, rather than trying to force him into yours.


17. Respect His Stability

We won’t sugarcoat it. Older men can be more stable than your average 25-year-old guy.

They often have good jobs, don’t like to waste money, and know how to keep a woman happy.

While it’s great to have that type of stability in a relationship, don’t take it for granted.

He’s not your paycheck. He’s your partner.


18. Have Fun Together

Just because you’re dating someone with more life experience doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.

The older we get, the more we realize how important humor, games, and adventure are to a relationship.

Make sure you let your hair down and have fun with him every now and then.

You’ll thank yourself when you’re old and gray and can still remember the good times you had together.


19. Realize Age Gives Him Wisdom & Perspective

Here’s the thing about dating someone much older or younger than you.

They have life experiences that you may not be able to understand or sympathize with.

When your boyfriend doesn’t understand your generational humor, instead of explaining it to him—try to understand where he’s coming from.

It’ll make life a lot easier when you try looking at things from his perspective.


Final Thoughts on Dating Older Men (+ Tips You Need To Know)

Dating someone with a large age gap can be difficult at times, but it also comes with benefits you wouldn’t experience by dating someone your age.

Older men tend to have more confidence, more life experience, and more relationship perspective.

However, as with any relationship, communication, respect, and authenticity are key.

Instead of trying to change who you are to appeal to his age group, focus on building a strong foundation with good communication, healthy boundaries, and plenty of attraction.

Age doesn’t matter if you’re willing to put in the effort to build a healthy relationship.


FAQ

Is it normal for younger girls to date older guys?
Yep. In fact, more couples are building relationships with age gaps than ever before.

Will dating an older man be difficult?
Potentially. There will be differences in your life and his, but if you approach them with an open mind and respect, you’ll be just fine.

How can I tell if he wants a relationship or not?
If he wants a relationship with you, he will show you. Be upfront about what you want and see if he matches that energy.

Do older guys only date younger women for sex?
False. While sex may be a factor, there are plenty of other reasons older guys are attracted to young women.

Can age differences impact your relationship?
Age doesn’t impact your relationship. How you handle age differences does.

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