A few years ago I had a conversation with a good friend of mine. She bent over backwards for literally everyone in her life. Always saying yes when she didn’t want to do something. Excusing others’ bad behavior and never putting herself first.
By the time I sat down with her, she was drained—and mad that no one would “respect” her.
And that’s when it hit me.
Self-respect isn’t given to you by others. You have to choose to give that to yourself.
Learning how to respect yourself doesn’t mean you’re arrogant or aloof. Learning how to respect yourself means setting boundaries, protecting your energy, and holding your ground because you know you’re worth it.
Want to learn how to respect yourself too? Read on.
15 Ways to Respect Yourself No Matter What
1. Have Boundaries & Enforce Them
You can’t respect someone who doesn’t respect you.
Learn what you will and will not tolerate. Communicate this clearly and calmly to others. And enforce your boundaries no matter what.
If someone you know constantly tests your limits or makes you feel guilty for enforcing boundaries—block them.
Simple as that.
Boundaries are everything when it comes to respecting yourself.
Read also: 6 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries is Important in Your Relationships
2. Learn To Say No
You are allowed to say no.
You are allowed to say no to extra projects at work, social events that you don’t feel like attending, and most importantly: you are allowed to say no if someone is draining your time and energy.
Do not apologize for taking care of yourself.
Each time you say no, you’re honoring yourself and reinforcing your value.
Read also: 15 Reasons Why Saying No is a Life Skill You Need to Learn
3. Don’t Seek Outside Validation
Seeking validation is like being addicted to cocaine.
Once you get a taste, you need more and more to feel good about yourself.
Instead of looking to others for validation, practice finding it within.
You are your own person. Decide things for yourself and honor your own opinions.
Once you respect yourself enough not to need someone else’s permission to live your life—you’ll earn the respect of others.
Read also: 10 Ways to Value Yourself
4. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
Everything you do in this life is your choice.
You are not a victim of your circumstances. You may not have control over everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react.
Taking responsibility for your life builds character and shows others you respect yourself.
5. Put Your Needs First
Sleep when you’re tired. Eat when you’re hungry. Exercise your body. Journal your thoughts. And if someone or something in your life is weighing you down—let it go.
You cannot respect yourself if you’re constantly compromising your own needs to serve others.
Say yes to the things that fill you up, and walk away from what drains you.
6. Stop Apologizing All The Time
Apologize when you screw up. Not for:
- Running late
- Breathing too loudly
- Making yourself clear
You don’t have to say sorry just because someone else raises their voice or gets defensive.
Speak from a place of authority and respect. That means no jerking yourself down with unnecessary apologies.
7. Surround Yourself With Respectful People
Want to respect yourself? Hang out with others who do the same.
When you’re around people who support and uplift you, it’s easy to feel worthy.
When you’re around backstabbing friends and narcissists—respect is hard to come by.
Distance yourself from toxic people. You’re worthy of friends who respect your boundaries.
8. Speak Up for Yourself
Others will not always agree with you—and that’s okay.
If someone dismisses your thoughts or opinions, calmly state that you disagree.
You have every right to voice your opinion.
Speaking up for yourself is empowering and forces you to stand by what you believe in.
9. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Stop scrolling through Instagram and wondering why you don’t have the same life someone else does.
Comparison is the thief of joy, and it drains the self-respect right out of you if you let it.
As my mentor always says, “Comparing your behind to someone else’s front shot is absurd.”
Focus on your goals. Celebrate YOUR accomplishments. And know that everyone’s path is different.
10. Practice Self Compassion
Treat yourself how you would treat your best friend.
Pat yourself on the back when you win. And don’t chastise yourself for making a mistake.
Cut yourself some slack and practice self-compassion.
11. Set Your Standards High
High standards aren’t something to be ashamed of.
Set your standards high for the people you allow into your life, your job, and your overall lifestyle.
Don’t lower your standards for anyone or anything.
If something or someone no longer meets your standards—let them go.
You respect yourself by maintaining high standards.
12. Slow Your Roll When Making Decisions
We all want things to happen now. NOW NOW NOW.
But when it comes to your life, don’t rush into anything.
Stop saying yes to things without thinking them through first. Sleep on big decisions and weigh out your options.
Your life is yours—don’t let others pressure you or make decisions out of fear.
13. Let People Go
This goes for friends, family, and romantic relationships.
If someone continually hurts you or does not respect your boundaries, walk away.
Severing ties with someone can be one of the best feelings in the world.
Stand up for yourself by letting that manipulative friend, relative, or ex walk away.
You’ll immediately feel more respected by yourself (and others).
14. Celebrate Your Successes
Don’t wait for someone to praise you when you accomplish something great.
Take advantage of every opportunity you create and celebrate your wins—no matter how small.
You respect yourself by recognizing how far you’ve come.
Jot your accomplishments down in a journal and reward yourself every time you win.
15. Be Yourself
They say, “Be yourself. Someone will love you for it.”
I say, “Be yourself—because you should respect yourself enough to WANT someone who loves you, FOR YOU.”
You are wonderful exactly as you are. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to try and fit in.
Stay true to who you are on the inside—and always make decisions that align with your core values.
When you respect who you are at your core—others will too.
Conclusion
Life is too short to not respect yourself.
Setting boundaries, putting your needs first, and taking responsibility for your life are all powerful ways you can SHOW yourself you’re worthy of respect.
Once you decide to make these habits a lifestyle, you won’t have to worry about trying to earn someone else’s respect—it’ll radiate from within you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will respecting myself improve my relationships?
Yes! When you set the standard with how you treat yourself, others will follow suit.
Relationships will improve because you know your worth and you won’t tolerate anyone who disrespects you.
Does prioritizing myself mean I’m being selfish?
No. When you put yourself first, you actually have more energy, happiness, and love to give to others.
Plus, you don’t have to lose yourself trying to please everyone else.
How do I stop feeling guilty when I say no?
Remind yourself that YOU’RE ALLOWED. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to put yourself first.
Every time you say no—you’re taking care of yourself.
Can I learn how to respect myself?
Yes and no. Just like anything else in life, self-respect is a habit you can cultivate by setting boundaries and learning to put yourself first.
What if people get mad when I start respecting myself?
Good! Kick that person to the curb. Letting others dictate how you feel about yourself is NOT respecting yourself.
Give respect and you shall receive respect. Return disrespect with boundary setting.
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