I used to think healing looked like crossing a bridge. Taking steady steps until you reach firm ground on the other side. But life had other plans for me.
There is no straight line to recovery. It zig-zags, and there are hidden holes and setbacks you don’t see coming.
Some mornings I’d wake up and feel okay, and then the next day it was like my feelings were ripped open overnight.
I’ve come to accept that healing isn’t something you just shake off. It’s learning how to live with scars. Building a new life while leaving the old one behind. Learning to recover takes time, and it’s a choice you make every day. Some days that look bigger than others, but they mean more than you think they do.
14 Steps That Will Actually Help You Heal
1. Stop Expecting Magic
There’s no miracle cure for heartbreak. The harder and faster you try to force it, the longer it’ll take. Pain doesn’t have a timetable — and neither does your recovery. Go at your own pace and don’t compare your process to someone else’s. Everyone is different, and healing takes as long as it takes.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Feel
Fear is one of the worst emotions you can let yourself feel. The more you try to stuff it down, the bigger it grows. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, whatever they may be. Name them. Feel them. Accept them. The only way out is through.
3. Understand That You May Never Receive Closure
Sometimes healing isn’t clean. There will be loose ends. Questions that will never be answered. If you wait around for other people to give you closure, you’ll wait forever.
Closure will come when you decide you’re ready to let go. Whether you have all the answers or not.
4. Nourish Your Body While You’re Healing Your Heart
Your mental health affects your physical health and vice versa. You can’t expect your mind to feel better if you’re neglecting your body.
Make sure you’re resting when you need to. Drinking plenty of water. And moving your body daily, even if it’s just a 10-minute walk. These small things greatly affect your ability to process emotions.
Read also: 39 Unrecognizable Glow Up Affirmations
5. Be Around Positive People
You don’t have to go through this process alone. Allow yourself to be around people who listen to you. Who don’t judge you and want what’s best for you. Sometimes just having another person around can help you feel grounded when your emotions are flying wild.
6. Set Boundaries
You’ll never truly heal if you allow the same things to hurt you over and over. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for your mental well-being.
Decide what you will and won’t allow. Stand your ground, even if people try to guilt you into letting them overstep. Your health is more important than making someone else comfortable.
Read also: How to Make Boundaries – 10 Steps
7. Ask for Help
You don’t have to heal by yourself. If you want someone to lean on that can provide helpful tools and advice, talk to a therapist or counselor.
Studies show that therapy can help with emotional well-being and life satisfaction. You can also talk to a trusted friend. Sometimes just talking out your feelings to someone who will listen can help you feel less overwhelmed.
8. Stop Living in Yesterday
Thinking about “what could’ve been” or replaying memories in your head doesn’t help you heal. When you catch yourself thinking about the past, consciously make an effort to shift your thoughts.
Figure out what you can do in the present to help your situation instead of dwelling on things you can’t change.
9. Find Things That Make You Now Who You Were
Life will never look the same for you. And that’s okay, you’re not the same person you were before the pain either.
Find new hobbies. Make new friends. Learn new skills. Growing from your pain is one of the greatest indicators that you’re healing.
10. Forgive for Your Own Sanity
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you’re excusing their actions. You’re simply allowing yourself to stop giving that person the power over your emotions and well-being.
Don’t force yourself to forgive anyone. That takes time, and it will come when you least expect it. Whether it be through journaling, meditation, walking in nature, or just crying it out. When you forgive, you’ll know because it will feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders.
11. Create Healthy Daily Habits
Life will be easier if your daily routines benefit the healing process. Something as simple as practicing mindfulness for a few minutes a day can lessen stress and improve your mental health.
The more you focus on protecting your peace, the better you’ll be at moving forward.
12. Realize It’s Okay to Take Two Steps Back
There will be days where you feel like you’re regressing. That’s part of the healing process. Don’t be discouraged if you have a bad day or can’t get out of bed.
Remind yourself that sometimes healing is going two steps forward, one step back. But it doesn’t mean you’re undoing progress.
13. Have Things to Look Forward To
Studies show that anticipating positive events in your life can improve your happiness and motivation. Create something to look forward to, whether it’s big or small.
14. Keep Believing in Yourself
Things may not feel alright now, but promise yourself that you will be stronger on the other side. Healing takes time. Trust the process, and know that every day you decide to keep going is a day closer to recovering.
Believe that you can get through this, even if you can’t see how just yet.
Final Thoughts
Healing isn’t flipping a switch and waking up one day feeling better. It’s making the decision to take care of yourself, every day. To do things that you know will protect your peace. To allow yourself to grow and be more than what hurt you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does healing feel like it’s going backward sometimes?
There is no straight line to recovery. It zig-zags, and there are hidden holes and setbacks you don’t see coming.
What if I never get closure?
Sometimes healing isn’t clean. There will be loose ends and questions that will never be answered. Closure will come when you decide you’re ready to let go.
Is it normal to feel okay one day and crushed the next?
Yes. Some mornings you can wake up and feel okay, and then the next day it can feel like your feelings were ripped open overnight.
Do I have to do this alone?
No. You don’t have to heal by yourself. Reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or trusted person can help you feel less overwhelmed.
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