Sitting down with a friend for drinks one night listening to him complain about his relationship… Something he kept saying over and over again.
“She’s not soft. She needs to control everything. She doesn’t listen to me. She fights like we’re competing against each other.”
It had me thinking.
I mean at first I just assumed he was dating the wrong woman. The woman that all men date from time to time. But after observing couples more and more I started to realize that there were common personality characteristics that some women seemed wired with, that others simply aren’t.
These women were what society typically labels masculine energy women.
But this is where most people get it wrong.
When people think of these type of females they label them as being “not feminine enough” or “too masculine.”
No. This has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. What it comes down to are the ways that people:
Communicate
Lead
React
Process Emotionally
And more…
If you’re currently dating someone, in a relationship, married, or just looking to better understand your future partners. You NEED to understand this concept.
Because when you misinterpret your partner’s behavior you don’t fix problems, you create them.
Allow me to explain all of the above traits properly.
13 Masculine Traits Some Women Display
1. Need For Control/Taking Charge
Some women are natural-born leaders.
They don’t lead for the sake of leading. But because they feel like things should be done a certain way…
- Everything is planned by them.
- They correct you when you do something “wrong.”
- They have a hard time delegating tasks.
Known as having high responsibility, these girls often have an intense inner drive to lead.
The issue with this characteristic in romantic relationships is that your partner will start to feel like you’re emotionally controlling them.
As their partner, you won’t feel like you’re on the same team. You’ll feel managed.
Read also: 10 Signs You Have Dark Feminine Energy
2. Extremely Independent
We all love an independent woman. Till they go TOO independent.
Some women have developed a way of doing things BY.SHELL.F*CK because they’re so used to being on their own that they refuse to let anyone in.
If you’re the boyfriend or husband. You’ll never hear things like:
- Can you help me with this?
- I don’t know what to do.
- I really need you right now.
Independent girls just don’t do that stuff.
This type of woman has likely built up these emotional walls because throughout her life she learned that she couldn’t count on anyone else but herself.
Relationships are about vulnerability. Not weakness.
When a woman guards her emotions too much, even when she’s in a relationship with you… She pushes you away WITHOUT realizing it.
Read also: Stop These 10 Energy Draining Habits Now
3. Direct and Unfiltered Communication Style
Women who are extremely straightforward tend to have no filter when it comes to giving you information.
You ask them a question, they reply with blunt truths.
Some may view this as rude. But that’s not always the case.
This girl just values efficiency over emotional cushioning.
Unfortunately, romantic relationships don’t work on efficiency. They work on emotions.
What may be perfectly honest to her, will sound horribly harsh to him.
This leads to way more conflict than you think.
This by far is one of the biggest relationship wreckers.
You’re no longer on the same team battling against life. You become battle against each other.
These are the types of signs you’ll see if she thrives off of competitive energy:
- She always has to be right.
- She likes to correct you in public.
- She turns EVERY conversation into a debate.
This is known as competitive framing.
Any healthy relationship has elements of cooperation. Take that away and you’ll constantly view your partner as your opponent.
Understanding your partner’s relationship dynamic and power balance will allow you to stop seeing disagreements as competition.
4. High Focus on Achievement and Productivity
Some girls are extremely career focused. Business women. Girl bosses. Whatever you want to call them.
Their lives revolve around goals. And everything is scheduled.
Girl bosses are not the problem.
The problem is when you make productivity your identity.
Rest = Laziness
Time spent crying or venting = Wasting your time.
Even spending time with your SIGNIFICANT OTHER can be viewed as time taken away from being productive.
Romantic relationships do not function on timetables.
If you can’t learn how to turn off that “achiever” mentality. You’ll never be able to emotionally check-in with your partner.
You know the type of girl who doesn’t like to “dwell” on emotional conversations?
She’ll hear you rambling on about how you’re feeling and she’ll quickly try to shut you down by saying:
- “You’re overthinking things.”
- “It’s never that deep.”
- “Let’s not over analyze this.”
The issue some girls have with emotion is that they can be so intense. That women like these tend to avoid emotion altogether.
But here’s the thing with that logic. Avoiding emotion doesn’t make the issue go away. It just kicks the can down the road..
Healthy relationships are built on great emotional communication.
5. Protective and Guarded Behavior
These are the types of girls who don’t open up to you easily.
Trust is earned overtime.
If you date a woman like this you’ll notice:
- She won’t be vulnerable with you quickly.
- Emotionally she’ll have a wall up.
- She won’t be willing to open up about her past relationships..
Why?
Because most likely she’s been hurt in the past and now intimidates anyone who try to get too close..
You can’t build a healthy relationship with someone who refuses to let you in.
If she’s always closed off, your partner will always feel insecure.
6. Preference for Logic Over Emotion
Women who operate with high masculine energy tend to be very logical when it comes to dealing with their emotions.
Instead of her saying:
“I feel upset”
She’ll tell you:
“That’s stupid and here’s why.”
We all know where that argument will go..
Romantic relationships don’t work off of logic. Arguments aren’t solved by who’s right.
7. Strong Boundaries That Can Feel Rigid
Boundaries are GREAT for your relationship. But some girls have boundaries that are too close for comfort.
Hearing things like:
- “I don’t deal with that asshole, get over it.”
- “That’s just how I’m wired.” / “I can’t help it.”
- “You like it this way? Take it or leave it.”
Sounds empowering at first because you know WHERE YOU STAND with her..
But relationships don’t work if you don’t allow any room for negotiation.
If your girl has no flexibility with her boundaries. She will eventually let them break, and you’ll be at fault.
If you ever been in a group setting with a girl high in masculine energy. You know exactly what I’m talking about..
She’ll say something FIRST.
Have an opinion on everything.
Decide the group’s direction.
Controlling the conversation.
This is natural for someone with a dominant personality.
But issues arise when her boyfriend feels emotionally overshadowed by her in the relationship.
She doesn’t have to quiet her personality to make you feel better. But a balance is necessary.
The more she dominates, the more you’ll withdraw.
8. Resistance to Traditional Gender Roles
You’ll find that girls who hate gender roles will throw comments around like:
- “Men are supposed to lead.”
- “Women should be soft.”
- “Guys should listen more.”
Instead of conforming to societal norms. They’ll create their own rules on how a relationship should be run.
This is a very new concept and common now-a-days.
The conflict starts when you both have different visions of what a relationship should look like.
She’s running by her rules, and you’re operating by yours..
9. Doesn’t Lean on Her Partner for Emotional Support
All of her problems are processed by herself.
Girl got sad? Guess who comforts herself?
Girl is stressed? You won’t even see her.
Girl has a question? She’ll Google it.
Independent AF right?
To the outside world, it may look like she’s strong. But let me tell you how girls who have this trait operate in relationships..
If she never lets her significant other EMOTIONALLY support her. She’s slowly making you feel useless as her partner..
10. Strong Sense of Self
She has her standards and principles and she WILL NOT waver from them.
Opinions aren’t formed and changed easily.
She doesn’t back down from arguments.
She knows who she is as a person. And hell knows how to stand by that.
Some may call this masculinity. I call this having a strong sense of self.
Identity is a beautiful thing, but be careful how entrenched you are with your own way of thinking.
Conclusion
Masculine characteristics in women are neither good nor bad.
They are simply personality characteristics that some women display more than others.
The problem isn’t that women may be too masculine or not feminine enough.
Relationships suffer when there is a lack of understanding, balance, and communication.
Control replaces support.
Independence replaces Intimacy.
Logic replaces Emotion.
Stop trying to figure out your significant other. Learn how to interpret their behavior.
As you learn the science of human behavior you will become less emotionally reactive and more rational.
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