One of my friends sat across from me at dinner one night, telling me how he broke up with his girlfriend. He kept repeating this phrase over and over: “I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”
I remember thinking…
Man. That really sucks.
Because that’s what happens when you don’t know how to deal with a breakup properly. It doesn’t just rip the relationship out of your life…it slowly starts ripping you apart.
Your confidence. Your routine. Your identity.
Pretending it didn’t happen or trying to fix what you can’t will destroy you if you let it.
So if you’re trying to figure out how to get over your ex, or you’ve just ended a relationship recently, this article will teach you how to handle a breakup the RIGHT way.
I’m not talking about some cheesy advice on “getting over them quickly.”
I’m talking about learning how to handle heartbreak in a way that leaves you better off than before it happened.
Ready?
Let’s do this.
12 Ways to Handle a Breakup
1. Accept That It’s Over
You’re not confused…you’re just scared.
Denial is one of the easiest traps to fall into after a breakup. “What if they change their mind?” “What if they realize they love me?”
Guess what?
Dwelling on that shit will kill you emotionally.
It’s OVER.
Plain and simple.
Whether they cheated, you cheated, or you both just grew apart—it’s done. No more waiting for them to call or texting them “just to see how they’re doing.”
Acceptance is the first step to moving on. You’re not going to forgive them overnight, but you have to stop lying to yourself if you ever want to heal.
Read also: 15 Signs You Need a Mental Break
2. Cut Contact (At Least for the Time Being)
Look, you want to move on, but every time you see them or they pop up on Facebook, you feel the need to comment on their post.
BIG NOPE.
Stop reaching out. Stop “checking up” on them. If you really want to heal and move forward, you need to eliminate them from your life for now.
- No texting.
- No social media stalking.
- Absolutely no pretending like everything is cool between the two of you.
If you don’t create boundaries after a breakup, you’re just going to continue hurting yourself.
Physical and mental space are what’s going to allow you to move forward.
Read also: 10 Ways People Get Away With Cheating
3. Let Yourself Feel It, But Don’t Drown Yourself in Sadness
This one is tough, but you have to feel your emotions.
Don’t ignore them. Don’t distract yourself with other people. You are allowed to feel sad after your relationship ended.
But here’s the key difference:
Don’t LET yourself wallow in self-pity forever.
Feel your feelings, process what happened, and pick yourself back up.
Allowing yourself to feel your emotions is a part of learning how to handle a breakup.
If you stuff it all down, it’s only going to come back to haunt you later.
Read also: 7 Effective Ways to Overcome Self-Pity
4. Stop Making the Relationship Seem Better Than It Was
Trust me, your brain is going to want to remember all the good times you had with your ex.
You had some great times together? Congratulations, you were friends too.
Look at the relationship for what it really was—not how you wish it could’ve been.
What happened that led to the two of you breaking up?
Were you really happy or just comfortable?
Be honest with yourself.
Getting inside your own head will allow you to learn from your mistakes.
5. Remove Any Triggers That Will Make You Crave Them More
If you want to heal from a breakup, you can’t be around things that are going to constantly remind you of your ex.
- Stop checking their social media.
- Delete old conversations that will only make you cry.
- Throw out any gifts they got you that bring back memories.
I’m not saying you should throw away your entire past together, but for right now, you need to distance yourself from your emotions.
If you constantly look at things that remind you of them, you will constantly want them back.
This is about your mental health. Taking steps to move on means taking steps to NOT go back.
6. Fill Your Time with Things That You Enjoy (Routine Is Your Savior)
Your days are going to feel weird.
You probably spent a lot of time together, whether it be doing things around the house or just taking a quiet morning to enjoy each other’s company.
That’s gone now.
So replace it with something else.
Wake up at the same time every morning.
Go out.
Work.
Exercise.
Do anything but sit at home feeling sorry for yourself.
Structure helps you fill the void of missing them.
7. Work on Becoming a Better YOU (Don’t Seek Revenge)
Trust me, you are going to want to show them what they’re missing.
Don’t.
Instead of trying to get back at them by going out and finding someone new, better—focus on you.
Work on becoming the best version of yourself.
Get in shape.
Pick up a hobby.
Fill your time with self-improvement and don’t look back.
Make yourself too good for them to ever want you back.
Self-improvement is your best friend during times of transition.
You’re not doing this to win them back; you’re doing this to better yourself so one day you don’t settle for crap like that again.
8. Talk to Someone (Don’t Isolate Yourself)
Ok, ok, you don’t get extra points for being a “tortured soul.”
Acting like you’re some badass that can go through a breakup without talking to anyone will ultimately drown you in your own thoughts.
You need someone to help you talk through your emotions.
Find someone who:
- Will listen.
- Won’t give you false hope.
- Wants to see you succeed.
Whether it be a close friend, sibling, or mentor, having someone to help you through this will help more than you think.
And if things start to feel too deep, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Talk to a therapist.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
9. Avoid Seeking Replacements
You are not “moving on” by jumping into bed with the next person you see.
Quick-fix solutions like sleeping around will only lead to heartache.
You broke up with your significant other because the two of you were incompatible.
If you start seeing someone new right away, you’re going to bring those same incompatibilities and problems into your next relationship.
You don’t need a rebound…you need time to heal.
10. Remember What You Learned (Otherwise You’ll Repeat the Same Mistakes)
Every relationship you have teaches you something about yourself.
The key is most people forget the lesson and focus on how badly they were hurt.
Learn from your mistakes.
What happened in this relationship that can you learn from for next time?
How will you improve for your next relationship?
Once you know the lesson, apply it.
Knowledge will make you stronger than you were before.
11. Be Mindful of Your Social Media Use
You post a photo and half expect them to comment on it.
You look through their social media just to “see what they’re up to.”
You tell yourself it’s fine, but it’s not.
Social media is a hole you don’t want to fall into.
Once you start looking at their page, hitting “backspace” becomes harder and harder.
Don’t give your ex the satisfaction of triggering you on purpose.
Take a social media break if you have to.
Your mental peace is more important than Facebook anyway.
12. Just Breathe (There Is No Instant Cure)
You want to feel better now.
You want to wake up tomorrow and have this huge weight lifted off your shoulder.
It doesn’t work like that.
Some days you will feel great. Other days you will hate yourself.
It’s okay.
Remember, healing takes time.
As long as you take the proper steps each day, you WILL feel better.
Just not tomorrow.
Know why? Because tomorrow you’ll be a day closer to healing.
You got this.
Conclusion
Breakups suck.
They really do.
But it’s not the breakup that kills people—it’s how they choose to deal with the heartache.
You can either:
- Sit around and continue beating yourself up over what happened,
or - Use this as a learning experience to become a better person than you were before.
It’s your choice.
If you learn how to handle a breakup the RIGHT way, you’ll come out of this stronger than ever.
You won’t just “get over” your ex—you’ll force yourself to be someone who no longer accepts a relationship that doesn’t work like yours did.
You’re going to be okay.
FAQ
How long does it take to get over a breakup?
There’s no fixed timeline. It depends on the depth of the relationship and how you handle the healing process. It could take weeks or months—but your actions matter more than time alone.
Should I stay friends with my ex?
Right after a breakup? No. You need distance to heal. Friendship can only work later, and only if both of you have genuinely moved on.
Why do breakups hurt so much?
Because you’re not just losing a person—you’re losing routines, emotional connection, and future expectations. That’s a lot to process at once.
Is it okay to still miss my ex?
Yes. Missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back to them. It just means you had a real connection.
How do I stop thinking about my ex?
You don’t force it. You replace the habit. Stay busy, build new routines, and limit exposure to anything that reminds you of them.
Should I delete all photos of my ex?
Not necessarily forever. But removing them for now can help reduce emotional triggers while you heal.
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