We all have times when our emotions feel overwhelming. Whether you’re dealing with uncontrollable sadness, exploding anger, freezing fear, or stress that makes you feel like you can’t catch your breath, intense emotions can be tough to handle.
Big emotions usually arise when life exceeds your capacity to cope. Maybe you feel overwhelmed by too much pain or too many responsibilities. You might feel scared, hurt, lonely, or utterly exhausted.
There’s nothing wrong with having big feelings. Emotions are normal, and everyone has them. But if your feelings escalate beyond what you can manage, they can overwhelm your mind, your behavior, and your body. You might start behaving destructively—either outwardly against others or inwardly against yourself.
That’s why it’s so important to know how to cope with big emotions.
But coping doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings or forcing yourself to smile. Coping means noticing what you feel, identifying where the emotion stems from, and dealing with it effectively. And while coping with big emotions can be challenging at first, with practice it can become second nature. The more you learn how to handle big emotions, the easier it is to feel calm, think clearly, and stay grounded even when life throws you curveballs.
10 Strategies for Coping with Overwhelming Emotions
1. Pause and Breathe Deeply
When you’re experiencing an intense emotion, the first step is to pause and take a few deep breaths. You don’t need to try and figure out what to do or “fix” yourself just yet. Simply allow yourself some space between you and your emotion.
When you take deep breaths, you’re signaling to your brain that you’re OK. Deep breathing helps your body to calm down. Strong emotions like anger, anxiety, or sadness can trigger a stress response in your body, making your heart pound and your muscles tense. Deep breathing helps reverse this response.
Inhale slowly through your nose, counting to three. Hold your breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth.
Take a few deep breaths until you feel yourself begin to calm down. Sure, you’re still feeling those big emotions. But by taking a moment to pause and breathe, you’ve bought yourself some time. Instead of reacting right away, you can respond consciously.
Research shows that taking deep breaths when experiencing intense emotions can help decrease the strength of your emotion and counteract the physical effects of stress.
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2. Identify and Name Your Emotion
If you’re overwhelmed by emotion, it can help to simply ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” It may be sadness, grief, fear, shame, frustration, disappointment, or some other emotion. Whatever it is—name it.
Identifying your emotion helps you deal with what you’re feeling. And the better you get at identifying your emotions, the easier it becomes to manage them. Objectively naming an emotion that you’re experiencing can help deactivate the emotional intensity.
Say the emotion aloud, write it down, or think it to yourself. The goal is to turn that overwhelming feeling into something tangible that you can work with.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel Without Judging Yourself
Sometimes our emotions can feel even bigger when we attempt to resist them or say to ourselves, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Feelings don’t care about what we think they should or shouldn’t be. They just are…and they need to be felt.
Allowing yourself to feel means permitting the emotion to arise and fall without judging yourself for having it. Simply tell yourself, “It’s OK to feel this way.”
As you can reassure yourself, emotions move through you much more easily when you accept them than when you fear them or try to push them away.
When you meet your strong emotions with kindness, you cultivate feelings of safety in your body. This gives you the space to process big emotions without getting overwhelmed by them.
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4. Reach Out to Someone You Trust
The more you suppress your emotions, the heavier they can feel. Let someone you trust know that you’re having a tough time and would like to vent. You don’t necessarily need advice or solutions. Sometimes you just need to know that you’re not alone.
Talking to someone about what you’re feeling can help you process your thoughts. When you say your feelings out loud, it can help you think more clearly about the situation.
Connect with a trusted friend, family member, mentor, or therapist who can offer a listening ear. Just knowing that you have someone who has your back can help you feel less overwhelmed.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social support is one of the most important factors in mental health—particularly during times of intense emotions.
5. Move Your Body
Strong emotions aren’t just felt in your mind. They live in your body too! Maybe your body feels scared and tense, overloaded and tired, or angry and wound up.
Move your body in any way that feels good to you. Go for a walk, dance, stretch, or do some gentle exercise.
Doing gentle movement with your body can help release some of the tension your emotions are causing you to hold on to. Exercise also prompts your brain to release hormones that promote a sense of calm and well-being. It gives you something to focus on other than obsessing over your thoughts.
Any movement is good movement when you’re trying to release pent-up emotion. Listen to your body and move however feels supportive and nourishing to you.
6. Write Down What You’re Feeling
When your mind is racing and you can’t think straight, try putting your thoughts onto paper. Sometimes it can help to write down what you’re feeling and try to understand what is really going on.
Don’t worry about grammar or spelling. Allow your thoughts to flow freely. Be honest with yourself and follow your thoughts wherever they lead.
Journaling can help you process your emotions and gives you a private outlet to express how you’re truly feeling. If you journal on a regular basis, it can also help you identify patterns, reduce stress, and better understand what your emotions are trying to communicate to you.
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7. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
Intense emotions can pull you out of the present moment and into your mind. You might begin reminiscing about yesterday or what happened to trigger your emotion. Or maybe you start worrying about what’s going to happen next.
You can ground yourself in the present moment by reminding yourself, “What’s happening right now?”
Notice your surroundings. What do you see? Hear? Feel? Touch? By focusing on the present moment, you’ll distract yourself from excessive thinking.
It doesn’t matter what you do to be present. The trick is to simply notice what you’re experiencing in the here and now. Even if you’re washing your dishes, take a moment to feel the warmth of the water on your hands. Or take a few big gulps of water and really notice how you’re drinking.
Mindfulness isn’t about having zero emotions or sitting perfectly still. It’s about observing what’s going on around you and within you.
8. Do Something to Comfort Your Body
If you’re experiencing intense emotion, your whole body may feel like it needs comfort. You may feel angry and want to yell. You may feel misunderstood and want to hide under the covers. You might feel so upset that you don’t think anything could possibly feel good.
However your emotion is presenting itself, try performing one of your favorite comfort tasks. Turn on some soft music, drink a cup of tea, lie down, take a warm shower or bath. Whatever feels comforting to you.
Comfort yourself as you would comfort someone you love. You are worthy of kindness—even when you’re feeling big emotions.
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9. Remind Yourself That Emotions Are Temporary
This too shall pass. If there’s one thing that you can count on with your emotions, it’s that they will not last forever.
Emotions ebb and flow just like waves in the ocean. You may be feeling deep emotions now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always feel this way.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is sit with your emotion and wait for it to pass. Reminding yourself, “This won’t last forever,” can help you stay grounded.
Remind yourself, “These are just feelings. They will pass.”
Remember: Learning how to ride out your emotions—without fearing them or acting out against yourself or others—is one of the greatest skills you can learn.
10. Seek the Lesson in Your Emotion
There is always something your emotions are trying to teach you. Yes—even the painful ones.
What are you feeling RIGHT NOW? Sad? Scared? Hurt? Lonely? Anger? Whatever it is—you can ask yourself, “What do I need to know?”
Asking yourself this question can shift your relationship with your emotions. The more you learn to listen to your emotions, the more you will learn about yourself.
Final Thoughts on Handling Big Emotions
Big emotions don’t care if it’s the right time or place to feel how you’re feeling. If you’re triggered, your emotions will show up whether you like it or not.
But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck at the whim of your emotions. When you take a moment to pause, breathe, identify what you’re feeling, and engage in one of the other coping skills above, you are putting the power back into your own hands.
You are stronger than you think you are. Yes, your emotions may feel big, loud, and overwhelming. But they don’t have to run you away. You can face your emotions head-on with practice.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I can’t tell what emotion I’m feeling?
If you’re overwhelmed by emotion, it can help to simply ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” Whatever it is—name it.
Does coping mean I’m supposed to ignore my emotions?
No. Coping doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings or forcing yourself to smile. Coping means noticing what you feel, identifying where the emotion stems from, and dealing with it effectively.
What if my emotions feel too intense in the moment?
Start by pausing and taking a few deep breaths. You don’t need to “fix” yourself just yet—simply create space between you and your emotion.
What if I don’t want advice, I just need support?
You don’t necessarily need advice or solutions. Sometimes you just need to know that you’re not alone.
How do I stay grounded when my mind starts spiraling?
Ground yourself in the present moment by noticing your surroundings—what you see, hear, feel, and touch—and reminding yourself, “What’s happening right now?”
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