We were sitting at a café chatting when my friend started complaining about this guy she really liked. She sent him countless texts/calls and always tried to find a way to see him, but it never went both ways.

“Am I being paranoid, or is he just not that into me?” she asked me. And that’s when it hit me…

Way too often, girls ignore obvious signs that a man just doesn’t feel the way they do about him.

Over time, I’ve learned that men are easy to read. Their behaviors give away their true intentions, and the sooner you catch on, the better.

Not wanting to waste your time, I put together a list of the easiest ways to tell if a guy doesn’t feel the same about you. After reading this, you’ll know for sure if he’s just not that into you.

Remember: Knowing the signs he’s just not that into you isn’t about being paranoid over nothing. It’s about saving yourself the unnecessary hassle.

Ready?

10 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

1. He Doesn’t Reach Out to You

The amount a man texts/calls you is one of the first clues I look for when picking up on his level of interest.

Does he ever reach out to you without prompting?

You always have to text/call him first.
He rarely picks up the phone or takes a while to reply.
If you don’t keep in contact, he simply forgets about you.

When a man is into you, he’ll make sure to reach out and keep in contact often, no matter how busy.

2. He Cancels or Makes Excuses Not to See You

When a man likes you, he won’t let anything or anyone keep him from seeing you.

Of course, things happen, but if he constantly makes excuses to avoid spending time with you, that’s a red flag.

He always cancels plans last minute.
If he cancels, he rarely reschedules.
His excuses seem dumb or don’t add up.

He won’t make excuses about why he can’t see you because he’ll make seeing you a priority.

3. He Isn’t Emotionally Available

Emotionally unavailable guys usually avoid conversation, details, and any type of depth.

He won’t want to talk about his feelings or about your relationship.

When you two spend time together, he seems distant, even if you’re in the same room.

If he won’t open up and make room for emotional intimacy, he isn’t that into you.

4. He Doesn’t Ask About Your Day

If he cares about you, he genuinely cares about your life.

Asking about your day and what you’ve been doing shows he cares about you and what you have to say.

He rarely asks how your day was or what you’ve been up to.
He doesn’t ask about your plans, goals, or ambitions.
You find yourself talking to him like you would a coworker.

If he doesn’t take the time to get to know you, he won’t care about you.

5. He Doesn’t Make Plans with You for the Future

When a man has you in mind for his future, he automatically makes plans for the future with you.

Whether it’s vacations, concerts, dinner, or even living together, he won’t discuss or mention you when talking about the future.

If he won’t make plans with you for the future, he views you as nothing more than a temporary aspect of his life.

6. His Words Don’t Match His Actions

Men who are into you will show you how they feel through their actions.

If he says he loves you but doesn’t follow through with his words by proving it to you, he isn’t that into you.

His actions will line up with the things he says he will do.

If he doesn’t show you things/actions that match up with his words, he will only say things to hear them come out of his mouth.

7. He Avoids Putting You on Display

Don’t get me wrong, some men are naturally shy, but he should NEVER be afraid to show you off when you both know you’re dating.

If he avoids social settings with you, doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family, and tells you to keep your relationship a secret, he’s probably seeing other people.

If he’s proud to be with you, he won’t hide you from the world.

8. He Only Contacts You When He Needs Something

When a man is into you, he takes the time to talk to you and spend time with you even when he doesn’t HAVE to.

He only texts you when he’s bored.
He only calls you when he wants something.
He randomly messages you at hours he knows you’re busy.

If he only takes the time to contact you when it’s convenient for him, he’s only into you when it’s convenient for him.

9. He Doesn’t Go Out Of His Way to Impress You

If a man truly wants to win you over and show you he’s into you, he’ll go out of his way to impress you.

He doesn’t plan dates or put much effort into them.
He never brings you gifts or surprises you.
He acts like he doesn’t care that he has your attention.

When a man is into you, he wants to stand out among everyone else.

10. You Feel Anxious or Needy Around Him

Girls often ignore this one, but how you feel around your guy can tell you a lot about how he feels about you.

If you constantly feel anxious or needy around him, something is off.

You always question if he likes you or not.
You spend too much time overanalyzing his messages/calls, etc.
You always feel drained after talking to him.

If he was into you, you should feel excited to hear from him, not anxious.

Bonus tip: If he really wants to be with you, he won’t make you beg for his attention. You should feel secure in your relationship, not questioning his every move.

Final Thoughts

No man is worth making you anxious or questioning your self-worth. If you identified with multiple signs on this list, it may be time to let him go and find someone who does care about you.

FAQs

Q: Can a man’s actions change overnight?
A: Yes, people can change overnight, but you’re going to want to look for patterns in his behaviors rather than just one-off occurrences. Actions will ALWAYS speak louder than words.

Q: Should I ask him what’s up?
A: You can if you want, but frame it as you’re curious as to why he’s acting distant rather than attacking him. Most of the time, you’ll be able to tell if he’s into you by his reactions and behavior.

Q: How do I get over a guy who isn’t into me?
A: Work on you! Spend more time with friends and family, focus on your hobbies and career. If he wasn’t that into you, he doesn’t deserve your time. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you.

Q: Do these signs apply to long-term relationships as well?
A: Absolutely. Just because you’ve been with someone for a while doesn’t mean he suddenly cares about you. If he still doesn’t show effort and interest, he’s still not that into you.

Q: What if he is just shy/busy?
A: Shyness and busy schedules can be taken into consideration, but even the busiest and shyest men make time for the ones they care about. He’ll make you a priority. He won’t leave you wondering what you did wrong or if you should try to change who you are to make him love you.

Save pin for later

10 Signs He’s Not That Into You