I had this conversation with a friend recently (well, recently meaning a few months ago).
She had just started dating this older man and as she was telling me about their date the other night, I saw it.
The light come into her eyes. The smile spread across her face. She told me something that has stuck with me ever since.*
He makes me feel understood. REALLY understood. Like no one else has before.
This got me thinking. If you are dating an older man, what makes you feel deeply connected to them? How do you know if your partner “gets you?”
These past few years I’ve been studying, interviewing, and firsthand experiencing what makes dating older men so fulfilling. Guys that don’t just take you out on dates, but connect with you on a deeper level.
Age is only one factor. What’s most important are these 3 things: emotional maturity, life experience, and intentionality.
Scroll down to learn…
10 Reasons Why Dating Older Men Allows You To Create Deeper Connection
I will not only go into detail about each reason, but I will give you examples as well as what you can do to implement this into your dating life.
1. Emotional Awareness
Let’s start with the foundation of any meaningful relationship: emotional intelligence. Older men have had more life experience which allows them to understand, process, and react to your emotions in a healthy way.
Emotional intelligence is important because it allows your partner to listen to you, understand you, and meet your needs.
They notice when your mood changes and know how to help you open up.
They don’t overreact when things don’t go their way.
They empathize when you are going through a hard time.
They know how to problem solve with you instead of trying to “win” an argument.
You know how they will react in certain situations.
Example:
My friend was feeling stressed about work. Her boyfriend reacted in an impatient way and tried to give her advice when she didn’t want advice.
His older counterpart listened intently, asked her some questions to help her navigate her way out of stress doom, and kissed her forehead when she was done rambling.
The connection my friend felt from her older partner was immediate.
2. Life Experience
Closely related to emotional intelligence is life experience. Things your partner has been through in life allow him to connect with you when you are going through the same situation.
Life experience is valuable because it allows your partner to sympathize with you when you are going through something similar that they have experienced.
I know that sounds weird, but hear me out.
Whether they learned from their mistakes on their own or have to explain why something is a bad idea to you, they’ve been there.
Major relationship problems, job confusion, growing up with parents… they get it.
And because of their past, they are able to provide helpful advice.
A failed relationship? They’ve had at least one.
Don’t know what major you want to pick? Heck, they probably changed majors at least once.
Life experience is also valuable because your partner has been around longer and can provide insight on how things may or may not play out.
Example:
You’re teaching your boyfriend how to [dating]. He doesn’t know how to hold a fork, needs help navigating the check system, and has no idea what a CPU is.
Replace “dating” for anything, and that’s what dating an older man is like. Instead of growing impatient with him, you teach him because you know what it’s like to not know something.
Read also: 7 Intriguing Reasons Why Younger Men Like Older Women
3. Clear Communication
Communication is key in ANY relationship. Older men have learned how to communicate well with others which allows them to speak their mind and truly listen to what you have to say.
Their communication skills are top notch because…
They say what they mean.
They listen to YOU.
They are patient and will take the time to explain things to you.
They are better at reading non-verbal cues.
They don’t let arguments escalate into all-out war.
Example:
You told your man that you were having a bad day. Instead of telling you to “calm down” or “deal with it,” he sympathized with you and told you everything was going to be okay.
Not only did he validate how you felt, but he also showed you that he cared.
Boom. Deep connection.
Read also: 100 Quotes for Difficult Relationships
4. Confidence In Who They Are
Men that are older typically are secure in who they are as a person. This allows them to be confident in themselves which allows you to feel safe, loved, and accepted for who you are.
Why is confidence important?
You can be yourself around them.
You don’t feel insecure in your relationship because they don’t react or get jealous easily.
You trust them.
They are assertive, but not aggressive.
They don’t need you to constantly validate them, but will when you need it.
Confidence is attractive. Confidence that comes with experience is even more attractive.
5. Patience & Understanding
This right here is probably the number one reason why dating older men allows you to connect on a deeper level.
Younger men are still learning how to control their emotions. If something you do upsets them, you will most likely get an angry reaction.
When you date an older man, you learn very quickly that they are patient as hell.
Patience allows you to…
Grow at your own speed.
Make mistakes without him blowing up.
Takes time to process your emotions before reacting.
Understand that just because you may be younger doesn’t mean you are better at certain things.
Allows the relationship to last.
6. Values Emotional Intimacy
Intimacy is more than just sex. When you date an older man, you learn very quickly that they value emotional intimacy.
Not only do they want to get to know you on a deeper level, but they also make sure you feel close to them.
How do they do this?
They have conversations that matter.
They are vulnerable with you.
They are emotionally available.
They are there to comfort you when you need it.
Couples that spend time building emotional intimacy stay together longer.
Physical intimacy is great, but if you want a relationship that will last, you need to build that emotional connection.
7. Provides You With Stability & Security
Men that are older in age provide you with something every woman needs: stability.
They have established careers and don’t have to worry about where their next paycheck is coming from to provide for you.
They are emotionally available and able to provide you with that comfort you crave when you need it.
You know where you stand with them.
They have an established support system that you can become a part of.
They have thought about the future.
Security can be financial, emotional, and physical.
8. Respect Your Boundaries
Older men understand that every girl is different and because of that, they know how to respect your boundaries.
Why are boundaries important?
You feel safe telling them how you’re feeling.
You can be independent around them.
You don’t have to worry about saying something wrong.
You can be honest with them.
Knowing your boundaries allows you two to be intimate.
Read also: 9 Effective Ways to Set Boundaries with Family
9. Similar Goals & Vision For The Future
This goes hand in hand with the fact that older men tend to date with intention.
When you date an older man, you learn quickly that they only date you because they want to build a future with you.
How does this allow you to connect on a deeper level with your man?
You both want the same thing.
He includes you in his plans.
You never fight about what you both want in life.
You support each other.
You are a team.
Having a partner that wants the same things you do is crucial when it comes to building a life together.
10. Focuses On Creating Meaningful Memories
Smaller details mean everything when you date an older man.
Not only do they make you feel loved when you’re hanging out doing absolutely nothing, but they know how to make any moment you spend with them meaningful.
They focus on creating memories with you by…
Making sure you’re present when you’re hanging out together.
Taking you on adventures.
Creating memories you’ll remember forever.
Allowing you to be present.
Intentional time spent with you.
Relationships are about the little things. Men that are older know this.
Final Thoughts
Dating an older man can allow you to create a deeper connection with your man.
Emotional intelligence, life experience, patience are what causes you to feel loved when dating an older man.
If you’re looking for a man that will listen to you, understand you, and provide you with a secure future, make sure to date older men.
FAQ
Q1: Why do older men create deeper connections with you?
A1: Due to the fact that they have more emotional intelligence, life experience, and are more patient than younger men.
Q2: Are older men better in bed?
A2: They don’t rush things and typically can communicate what they like better.
Q3: Is an age gap relationship healthy?
A3: Yes! As long as you both respect each other’s boundaries and want the same things in life.
Q4: Do older men finish relationships better?
A4: They typically don’t drag things out as long as you are clear with what you want.
Q5: How do you attract an older man?
A5: Be yourself and allow him to show you what he is capable of.
Save the pin for later
