Self-control didn’t just happen overnight for me. It was cultivated through trial and error until I found out what works best for me personally. Once I realized that self-discipline is self-guidance, and not self-punishment, everything clicked.
The great thing about self-discipline is that it’s not some inherited genetic trait that you either have or don’t have. Self-discipline can be developed, like any other skill can be learned and improved day by day. Think of self-discipline as constructing a building that you will love living in because you designed it to your exact specifications.
Below are 10 ways you can develop self-discipline so that it doesn’t feel overwhelming.
1. Set Defined Goals
You can’t be disciplined with no endpoint in mind. If your goals are not defined, then your plans to reach them won’t be either.
Don’t say things like “I will do better from now on.” Instead, define what better looks like. Assign every goal a deadline, a measurable outcome, and a purpose behind it.
When your brain can paint a clear picture of where you’re going, it’s easier to reach your goals and feel like you are making progress instead of going in circles.
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2. Break Your Goals Down Into Small Tasks
If you have big goals you’d like to achieve, don’t think about them as one BIG task. The bigger the goal, the more your brain wants to run away from it.
Our brains want us to conserve energy, so try to break down your goals into small daily tasks.
You will accomplish more in 20 minutes every day than you will waiting for 4 hours to become available to you. Once you start crossing small tasks off your list, you’ll build the confidence you need to continue strengthening your self-discipline.
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3. Establish Good Habits and Follow Through
You know that little voice you hear in your head when you’re about to bite into that extra donut or scroll through social media for hours? When you practice good habits often enough, you won’t hear that voice at all. Your mind and body will expect you to show up.
You don’t have to schedule your entire day (although some people do), but if you know you have to write every day at 9pm, your mind will hold you accountable to showing up whether you feel like it or not.
Click here to learn: 15 Ways to Stick to Good Habits
4. Practice Patience
Studies show that the ability to delay gratification is the most significant predictor of future success, as noted by the American Psychological Association.
Delaying gratification is simply telling yourself, “I can wait, because what I’m building is worth it.”
Practice saying no to instant gratification and watch your self-control flourish.
5. Remove Temptations
Environment plays a bigger role in your daily habits than you might think. Willpower is drained by the little things. When you’re trying to create long-term discipline, you can’t have the temptation of an itch nearby.
Redesign your workspace so it’s comfortable but not tempting to slack. Block websites that hinder your progress. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. If there are people in your life that are holding you back, distance yourself.
By creating an environment that cultivates good habits, being disciplined will become easier.
6. Create Accountability
Let’s say you tell a friend about a fitness goal you’ve recently set. You’re now subconsciously accountable to seeing that goal through because someone other than you will know if you don’t follow through.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling motivated by others’ expectations of you. In fact, a study reported by The Ohio State University (published in the Journal of Applied Psychology) found that commitment to goals could be higher when those goals were shared with someone higher in status.
You can create accountability by checking in with a friend or family member, joining a group of people with similar goals, or publicly posting your goals.
7. Condition Your Willpower
Think of self-control like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it will get, as discussed in research published in Psychological Bulletin.
You don’t have to tell yourself you’ll never eat junk food again. Try making small promises to yourself that you know you can keep.
Once you condition your mind with small victories that take self-discipline over instant gratification, you’ll build the willpower to tackle more challenges.
8. Take Action, Even If You Don’t Feel Like It
Motivation is great, but discipline is what allows you to take action when you’re NOT motivated.
If you wait for that perfect feeling before you begin working on your goals, you’ll never start on the days you don’t feel like it. Teach your mind what it feels like to show up whether you feel motivated or not.
Self-discipline is waking up at 5am and working on your goals even though you wanted to sleep for ten more hours.
9. Don’t Give Up After You Fail
Being disciplined doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly become perfect. You will procrastinate on goals, skip the gym, and eat that whole tub of ice cream every once in a while.
You’re only defeated if you let that one mistake define you. Learn from your failures and get back on track as quickly as you can.
The quicker you learn to bounce back from failure, the less power it will have over you.
10. Reward Yourself
One of the best ways to develop long-term discipline is to reward yourself every time you reach a goal.
Rewards can be as simple as giving yourself a high-five. Your brain has to make a habit of associating work with pleasure instead of just pushing yourself to the limit.
You’ve probably heard this before, but celebrate small victories. You’ll subconsciously feel more motivated to stay disciplined.
Conclusion
Self-discipline starts with small steps. You can’t go from being completely undisciplined to designing a self-discipline system that favours you overnight.
By structuring your environment to make it easier to practice good habits, rewarding yourself when you reach your goals, and allowing yourself to improve a little each day will allow you to build the self-discipline you’ve been looking for.
Self-discipline isn’t something you wake up with tomorrow; it’s something you build today and every day after that.
Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the difference between self-discipline and self-punishment?
Self-discipline is self-guidance, and not self-punishment.
Can self-discipline really be learned?
Yes. Self-discipline can be developed, like any other skill can be learned and improved day by day.
What if my goals feel too big and overwhelming?
Try breaking your goals down into small daily tasks so they feel more manageable.
How do I stay disciplined when I’m not motivated?
Discipline is what allows you to take action when you’re NOT motivated, so teach your mind what it feels like to show up anyway.
What should I do if I fail or fall off track?
Learn from your failures and get back on track as quickly as you can.
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